A review by sterkaim
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken

5.0

This book!--if you've lost a baby or miscarried, you must read this when the time is right (the first time I tried it was not right). If you care about someone who has lost a baby or miscarried, you must read this book. I've been struggling so much with our losses, my losses, and Elizabeth perfectly describes a variety of the ways I've been feeling and dealing--in trying to get pregnant again, I cannot allow myself to remember details of the other pregnancy. In trying to get pregnant again, I am not undoing or forgetting our other babies. People who say nothing/said nothing/waited too long are no longer my friends. People who said "at least you know you can get pregnant" or "you'll try again" are suspect at best. People who said "I'm so sorry" or even "I don't know what to say" are the people to cling to--its always ok to say "I'm so sorry." Pregnant women are very hard. I second guess everything. Platitudes make me want to puke. (Unlike McCracken babies are also hard). I've found comfort in feeling not so alone in how I'm feeling. I yearn to have a second healthy pregnancy like McCracken and I can give myself some peace and understanding because of her words. Most important to me in a take away is also, like McCracken, I would never undo those pregnancies--I hate the way they ended, but even knowing that, I would do them again because they were our babies. You go through hell, and you hope you have new outcomes in the future, but though I sometimes wish I were the person before I went through this, I don't wish the pregnancies away ever. If you want to understand loss or if you want to feel understood in your loss, read this book.