A review by koreanlinda
Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World by Pema Chödrön

challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

Another super helpful book by Pema Chodron. I also recommend "The Places That Scare You," and "When Things Fall Apart." Here I share a list of quotes that I wanted to remember. 

• p.5: Putting so much effort into protecting our hearts from pain hurts us over and over again. Even when we realize it’s unhelpful, this is a hard habit to break. It’s a natural human tendency. But when we generate bodhichitta, we go against the grain of this tendency Instead of shying away, we arouse the bravery to take a direct look at ourselves and the world. Instead of being intimidated by phenomena, we come to embrace all aspects of our inexhaustibly rich lives. 
• p.8: This awakening to our true nature doesn’t happen overnight. And even as we begin to awaken and find ourselves more and more able to help others, we have to accept that there’s not always something we can do — at least not immediately. Without making excuses of succumbing to indifference, we have to acknowledge that this is just how things are. Countless people and animals are suffering at this very moment, but how much can we do to prevent that? … maybe all we can do in the moment is to not turn away and to let the unfolding tragedy deepen our bodhichitta. Then we can let ourselves become curing about what causes people to hurt animals in the first place. 
• p.9: When we arouse bodhichitta, it’s important to understand that we’re in it for the long haul. We will have to stick around for a long time and apply tremendous effort and patience. The supreme vision of bodhichitta is to help every single living being awaken to their true nature. Our only shot at accomplishing this is by first attaining enlightenment ourselves. Along the way, we can take one step at a time, doing our best to keep our longing and commitment going during the ups and downs of our lives. 
• p.25: Polarization is at its most problematic when we dehumanize people — when we forget that the people we judge, criticize, and disagree with are actually as fully human as we are. 
• p.28: Having compassion doesn’t mean we can’t take a stand. It’s important to speak up when we’ve been hurt, when we see others being hurt, and when we observe or experience examples of abuse of power.
• p.37: When any unwanted feeling comes up, the first step is to feel it as fully as you can at the present moment… Hold the rawness of vulnerability in your heart. Breathe with it, allow it to touch you, to inhabit you—open to it as fully as you currently can. Then make that feeling even stronger, even more intense…. Do this until the filing becomes so heavy you could hold it in your hand. At that point, grab the feeling. And then just let it go. … Let it float out and out into the universe, dispersing into smaller and smaller particles, which become inconceivably tiny and distant. 
• p.61: The interesting thing is that the more willing you are to step out of your comfort zone, the more comfortable you feel in your life. Situations that used to arouse fear and nausea become easier to relax in. On the other hand, if you stay in the comfort zone all the time, it shrinks. … The more you try to wall off the danger, the more afraid you become of everyone. And the older you get, the more threatened you feel. 

Review by Linda (she/they) in April 2022
Twitter @KoreanLindaPark
Letter writer at DefinitelyNotOkay.com