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A review by villyidol
As the Last I May Know by S.L. Huang
4.0
***Winner of the 2020 Hugo Award for Best Short Story***
A nation on the brink of nuclear war has its president accompanied at all times by a child, the (in the beginning) 10-year-old Nyma, who carries the codes for the missiles inside her body. If president Han wants to pull the trigger and kill millions of faceless enemies, he has to kill the child first. He has to feel the consequences of his actions.
The story is told from the perspective of Nyma. She has not much else to do other than to be around the president and occasionally talk to him. So she spends a lot of her time writing poetry.
The two get to know each other over the years, while the war rages on. Decision have to be made. But which ones will it be?
Interesting premise, very nice prose. But a little something was missing for me. I feel like I should have cared more about Nyma. I should have gotten real anxious with every shift of affairs with the enemy. But for some reason I didn’t. Still, it’s a good story.
Can be read for free here: https://www.tor.com/2019/10/23/as-the-last-i-may-know-s-l-huang/
____________________________
Best Novel
• [b: The City in the Middle of the Night|37534907|The City in the Middle of the Night|Charlie Jane Anders|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1532447389l/37534907._SY75_.jpg|64654648] by Charlie Jane Anders
• [b: Gideon the Ninth|42036538|Gideon the Ninth (The Locked Tomb, #1)|Tamsyn Muir|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1546870952l/42036538._SY75_.jpg|60943229] by Tamsyn Muir
• The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley
• A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine
• [b: Middlegame|35965482|Middlegame (Middlegame, #1)|Seanan McGuire|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1537297437l/35965482._SX50_.jpg|57524946] by Seanan McGuire
• [b: The Ten Thousand Doors of January|43521657|The Ten Thousand Doors of January|Alix E. Harrow|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1548174710l/43521657._SY75_.jpg|63516505] by Alix E. Harrow
Best Novella
• Anxiety Is the Dizziness of Freedom by Ted Chiang ([b: Exhalation|41160292|Exhalation Stories|Ted Chiang|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1534388394l/41160292._SX50_.jpg|64336454])
• [b: The Deep|42201962|The Deep|Rivers Solomon|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1549411869l/42201962._SY75_.jpg|64281827] by Rivers Solomon, with Daveed Diggs, William Hutson & Jonathan Snipes
• The Haunting of Tram Car 015 by P. Djèlí Clark
• [b: In an Absent Dream|38244358|In an Absent Dream (Wayward Children, #4)|Seanan McGuire|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1525436165l/38244358._SY75_.jpg|59926216] by Seanan McGuire
• [b: This Is How You Lose the Time War|43352954|This Is How You Lose the Time War|Amal El-Mohtar|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1545755487l/43352954._SX50_.jpg|58237743] by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone
• To Be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers
Best Novelette
• The Archronology of Love by Caroline M. Yoachim (Lightspeed Magazine, April 2019)
• Away With the Wolves by Sarah Gailey ([b: Uncanny Magazine Issue 30: Disabled People Destroy Fanatsy! Special Issue|49245882|Uncanny Magazine Issue 30 Disabled People Destroy Fantasy! Special Issue|Lynne M. Thomas|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1566875115l/49245882._SX50_SY75_.jpg|73105010])
• The Blur in the Corner of Your Eye by Sarah Pinsker ([b: Uncanny Magazine Issue 29: July/August 2019|52228003|Uncanny Magazine Issue 29 July/August 2019|Lynne M. Thomas|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1562183674l/52228003._SX50_SY75_.jpg|71772498])
• Emergency Skin by N.K. Jemisin
• For He Can Creep by Siobhan Carroll
• [b: Omphalos|41160292|Exhalation Stories|Ted Chiang|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1534388394l/41160292._SX50_.jpg|64336454] by Ted Chiang
Best Short Story
• And Now His Lordship Is Laughing by Shiv Ramdas (Strange Horizons 9 September 2019)
• As the Last I May Know by S.L. Huang
• Blood Is Another Word for Hunger by Rivers Solomon
• A Catalog of Storms by Fran Wilde (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 26, January-February 2019)
• Do Not Look Back, My Lion by Alix E. Harrow (Beneath Ceaseless Skies Issue #270)
• Ten Excerpts from an Annotated Bibliography on the Cannibal Women of Ratnabar Island by Nibedita Sen (Nightmare Magazine, Issue 80)
Best Series
• The Expanse by [a: James S. A. Corey|4192148|James S.A. Corey|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1573162332p2/4192148.jpg]
• InCryptid by [a: Seanan McGuire|2860219|Seanan McGuire|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1245623198p2/2860219.jpg]
• Luna by [a: Ian McDonald|25376|Ian McDonald|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1372533252p2/25376.jpg]
• Planetfall series by [a: Emma Newman|3329042|Emma Newman|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1425124402p2/3329042.jpg]
• Winternight Trilogy by [a: Katherine Arden|13922215|Katherine Arden|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1510754830p2/13922215.jpg]
• The Wormwood Trilogy by [a: Tade Thompson|5782077|Tade Thompson|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1593796763p2/5782077.jpg]
Best Related Work
• [b: Becoming Superman: My Journey from Poverty to Hollywood|40651648|Becoming Superman My Journey from Poverty to Hollywood|J. Michael Straczynski|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1552089537l/40651648._SY75_.jpg|63175235] by J. Michael Straczynski
• [b: Joanna Russ|44803864|Joanna Russ|Gwyneth Jones|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1556682415l/44803864._SY75_.jpg|69488169] by Gwyneth Jones
• [b: The Lady from the Black Lagoon: Hollywood Monsters and the Lost Legacy of Milicent Patrick|40165912|The Lady from the Black Lagoon Hollywood Monsters and the Lost Legacy of Milicent Patrick|Mallory O'Meara|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1539883807l/40165912._SY75_.jpg|56266883] by Mallory O’Meara
• [b: The Pleasant Profession of Robert A. Heinlein|42632383|The Pleasant Profession of Robert A. Heinlein|Farah Mendlesohn|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1541399334l/42632383._SY75_.jpg|66365024] by Farah Mendlesohn
• 2019 John W. Campbell Award Acceptance Speech by Jeannette Ng
• Worlds of Ursula K. Le Guin, produced and directed by Arwen Curry
Best Graphic Story or Comic
• [b: Die, Volume 1: Fantasy Heartbreaker|48729961|SDCC DIE Volume 1 Fantasy Heartbreaker|Kieron Gillen|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1573174207l/48729961._SY75_.jpg|65274583] by Kieron Gillen and Stephanie Hans, letters by Clayton Cowles
• [b: LaGuardia|42762071|LaGuardia|Nnedi Okorafor|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1542046220l/42762071._SY75_.jpg|66506690], written by Nnedi Okorafor, art by Tana Ford, colours by James Devlin
• [b: Monstress, Volume 4: The Chosen|45899240|Monstress, Vol. 4 The Chosen|Marjorie M. Liu|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1559570414l/45899240._SX50_.jpg|70742623], written by Marjorie Liu, art by Sana Takeda
• [b: Mooncakes|44774415|Mooncakes|Suzanne Walker|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1565183719l/44774415._SY75_.jpg|57982519] by Wendy Xu and Suzanne Walker, letters by Joamette Gil
• Paper Girls, Volume 6, written by Brian K. Vaughan, drawn by Cliff Chiang, colours by Matt Wilson, letters by Jared K. Fletcher
• [b: The Wicked + The Divine, Volume 9: "Okay"|46223693|The Wicked + The Divine, Vol. 9 "Okay"|Kieron Gillen|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1560094188l/46223693._SY75_.jpg|66594104] by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie, colours by Matt Wilson, letters by Clayton Cowles
A nation on the brink of nuclear war has its president accompanied at all times by a child, the (in the beginning) 10-year-old Nyma, who carries the codes for the missiles inside her body. If president Han wants to pull the trigger and kill millions of faceless enemies, he has to kill the child first. He has to feel the consequences of his actions.
The story is told from the perspective of Nyma. She has not much else to do other than to be around the president and occasionally talk to him. So she spends a lot of her time writing poetry.
Peach petals drift down
Cheerful pink snow
And I clasp them to me
As the last I may know
The two get to know each other over the years, while the war rages on. Decision have to be made. But which ones will it be?
Interesting premise, very nice prose. But a little something was missing for me. I feel like I should have cared more about Nyma. I should have gotten real anxious with every shift of affairs with the enemy. But for some reason I didn’t. Still, it’s a good story.
Can be read for free here: https://www.tor.com/2019/10/23/as-the-last-i-may-know-s-l-huang/
____________________________
2020 Hugo Award Finalists
Best Novel
• [b: The City in the Middle of the Night|37534907|The City in the Middle of the Night|Charlie Jane Anders|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1532447389l/37534907._SY75_.jpg|64654648] by Charlie Jane Anders
• [b: Gideon the Ninth|42036538|Gideon the Ninth (The Locked Tomb, #1)|Tamsyn Muir|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1546870952l/42036538._SY75_.jpg|60943229] by Tamsyn Muir
• The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley
• A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine
• [b: Middlegame|35965482|Middlegame (Middlegame, #1)|Seanan McGuire|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1537297437l/35965482._SX50_.jpg|57524946] by Seanan McGuire
• [b: The Ten Thousand Doors of January|43521657|The Ten Thousand Doors of January|Alix E. Harrow|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1548174710l/43521657._SY75_.jpg|63516505] by Alix E. Harrow
Best Novella
• Anxiety Is the Dizziness of Freedom by Ted Chiang ([b: Exhalation|41160292|Exhalation Stories|Ted Chiang|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1534388394l/41160292._SX50_.jpg|64336454])
• [b: The Deep|42201962|The Deep|Rivers Solomon|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1549411869l/42201962._SY75_.jpg|64281827] by Rivers Solomon, with Daveed Diggs, William Hutson & Jonathan Snipes
• The Haunting of Tram Car 015 by P. Djèlí Clark
• [b: In an Absent Dream|38244358|In an Absent Dream (Wayward Children, #4)|Seanan McGuire|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1525436165l/38244358._SY75_.jpg|59926216] by Seanan McGuire
• [b: This Is How You Lose the Time War|43352954|This Is How You Lose the Time War|Amal El-Mohtar|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1545755487l/43352954._SX50_.jpg|58237743] by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone
• To Be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers
Best Novelette
• The Archronology of Love by Caroline M. Yoachim (Lightspeed Magazine, April 2019)
• Away With the Wolves by Sarah Gailey ([b: Uncanny Magazine Issue 30: Disabled People Destroy Fanatsy! Special Issue|49245882|Uncanny Magazine Issue 30 Disabled People Destroy Fantasy! Special Issue|Lynne M. Thomas|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1566875115l/49245882._SX50_SY75_.jpg|73105010])
• The Blur in the Corner of Your Eye by Sarah Pinsker ([b: Uncanny Magazine Issue 29: July/August 2019|52228003|Uncanny Magazine Issue 29 July/August 2019|Lynne M. Thomas|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1562183674l/52228003._SX50_SY75_.jpg|71772498])
• Emergency Skin by N.K. Jemisin
• For He Can Creep by Siobhan Carroll
• [b: Omphalos|41160292|Exhalation Stories|Ted Chiang|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1534388394l/41160292._SX50_.jpg|64336454] by Ted Chiang
Best Short Story
• And Now His Lordship Is Laughing by Shiv Ramdas (Strange Horizons 9 September 2019)
• As the Last I May Know by S.L. Huang
• Blood Is Another Word for Hunger by Rivers Solomon
• A Catalog of Storms by Fran Wilde (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 26, January-February 2019)
• Do Not Look Back, My Lion by Alix E. Harrow (Beneath Ceaseless Skies Issue #270)
• Ten Excerpts from an Annotated Bibliography on the Cannibal Women of Ratnabar Island by Nibedita Sen (Nightmare Magazine, Issue 80)
Best Series
• The Expanse by [a: James S. A. Corey|4192148|James S.A. Corey|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1573162332p2/4192148.jpg]
• InCryptid by [a: Seanan McGuire|2860219|Seanan McGuire|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1245623198p2/2860219.jpg]
• Luna by [a: Ian McDonald|25376|Ian McDonald|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1372533252p2/25376.jpg]
• Planetfall series by [a: Emma Newman|3329042|Emma Newman|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1425124402p2/3329042.jpg]
• Winternight Trilogy by [a: Katherine Arden|13922215|Katherine Arden|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1510754830p2/13922215.jpg]
• The Wormwood Trilogy by [a: Tade Thompson|5782077|Tade Thompson|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1593796763p2/5782077.jpg]
Best Related Work
• [b: Becoming Superman: My Journey from Poverty to Hollywood|40651648|Becoming Superman My Journey from Poverty to Hollywood|J. Michael Straczynski|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1552089537l/40651648._SY75_.jpg|63175235] by J. Michael Straczynski
• [b: Joanna Russ|44803864|Joanna Russ|Gwyneth Jones|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1556682415l/44803864._SY75_.jpg|69488169] by Gwyneth Jones
• [b: The Lady from the Black Lagoon: Hollywood Monsters and the Lost Legacy of Milicent Patrick|40165912|The Lady from the Black Lagoon Hollywood Monsters and the Lost Legacy of Milicent Patrick|Mallory O'Meara|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1539883807l/40165912._SY75_.jpg|56266883] by Mallory O’Meara
• [b: The Pleasant Profession of Robert A. Heinlein|42632383|The Pleasant Profession of Robert A. Heinlein|Farah Mendlesohn|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1541399334l/42632383._SY75_.jpg|66365024] by Farah Mendlesohn
• 2019 John W. Campbell Award Acceptance Speech by Jeannette Ng
• Worlds of Ursula K. Le Guin, produced and directed by Arwen Curry
Best Graphic Story or Comic
• [b: Die, Volume 1: Fantasy Heartbreaker|48729961|SDCC DIE Volume 1 Fantasy Heartbreaker|Kieron Gillen|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1573174207l/48729961._SY75_.jpg|65274583] by Kieron Gillen and Stephanie Hans, letters by Clayton Cowles
• [b: LaGuardia|42762071|LaGuardia|Nnedi Okorafor|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1542046220l/42762071._SY75_.jpg|66506690], written by Nnedi Okorafor, art by Tana Ford, colours by James Devlin
• [b: Monstress, Volume 4: The Chosen|45899240|Monstress, Vol. 4 The Chosen|Marjorie M. Liu|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1559570414l/45899240._SX50_.jpg|70742623], written by Marjorie Liu, art by Sana Takeda
• [b: Mooncakes|44774415|Mooncakes|Suzanne Walker|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1565183719l/44774415._SY75_.jpg|57982519] by Wendy Xu and Suzanne Walker, letters by Joamette Gil
• Paper Girls, Volume 6, written by Brian K. Vaughan, drawn by Cliff Chiang, colours by Matt Wilson, letters by Jared K. Fletcher
• [b: The Wicked + The Divine, Volume 9: "Okay"|46223693|The Wicked + The Divine, Vol. 9 "Okay"|Kieron Gillen|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1560094188l/46223693._SY75_.jpg|66594104] by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie, colours by Matt Wilson, letters by Clayton Cowles