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A review by dark_reader
Journey for the Samurai by Dave J. Williams
3.0
A personal essay, from some jerk on the internet.
I have a problem. ("Marc, you have a lot of problems," you say. Shut up.) Yesterday I listened to a podcast about [a:Chuck Tingle|10788353|Chuck Tingle|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1422164350p2/10788353.jpg] and was reminded that I should prove love is real. I have not been proving love in some of my book reviews. Sometimes I have been kind of mean. I don't want to be mean! And I don't think I am, really, except for sometimes. But often I can't help but be snarky, when faced with what I think is an objectively bad book. One new friend phrased it as me being "a bit gleeful in [my] mockery," which is fact-check: true. So, this is me engaging with myself on this matter.
That's right, it's one of those reviews. Totally allowed! Per Goodreads review guidelines:
Review response option 2: "I mean, I would use my tongue, but Sinerians gonna Sineria, I guess."
Which of these should I go with?And what about when this type of phrasing appears over and over again, throughout every book in the series?
After all this preamble, here it is; here is my attempt at a snark-free, as-kind-as-I-can-be-while-remaining-honest review:
Journey for the Samurai is the third entry in the ongoing Sineria medieval fantasy adventure series. In it, young heroes and warriors travel to Japan and encounter new exotic creatures and experience a new culture, including meeting the storied samurai. Part travelogue, part bestiary, part story of martial conflict, the joy of exploration finds its way onto the printed page. Although enthusiastic, the writing sometimes suffers from odd grammar and word usage, and I struggled to understand some of the characters' motivations. There are many comedic moments, but the humour tends to fall flat. The book could benefit from the attention of a professional editor. The kindle e-book formatting in particular could use some tweaking to improve readability.
There, I did it. What do you think of this review? I think it's boring as fuck. What to do? Let's explore some options:
I could refrain from sharing my true feelings about a book. But why? I bought and read the book, I routinely write GR reviews of virtually everything I read, and as far as I'm concerned, that what this space is for; for me to express my reactions to books. I'm not a professional reviewer, I don't have a blog, I'm not a booktuber, any of that; I'm not earning any $$ from this, only the occasional sweet, sweet dopamine hit from a 'like'. I type out my thoughts and feelings here because it helps me work them out, and it helps me solidify my memories of the books I read, and I like to share my experience. I am not a creative type outside of these reviews ("creative" is but one word that might be applied to them, I'm sure you can think of more). Anything I have to say about a book is so far from the be-all and end-all about anything; it's just, like, my opinion, man. Would downplaying my reactions serve any useful purpose?
I could go easy on self-published books. Does any self-publishing author want reviewers to consciously go soft on them, or give pity stars? I doubt it. I don't think I have a super high standard for character, plot, worldbuilding, dialogue, etc. As long as these things are present in a recognizable form and handled not particularly clunkily, I'm good. I am a stickler for e-book formatting; a book should look like a book. Standard fiction must have indented paragraphs without extra line breaks. There are basic market standards that rightfully apply to ANY published fiction. Things can go wrong when uploading a book; if one can't do it right themselves, they need to employ someone who knows how. This is publishing; it ain't WattPad. No one asked me to be a beta reader. The author expects to be paid for their book; publishing a book means, "This is ready to go on the store shelves; it's as good as I can make it." I am obliged to evaluate it accordingly; to do otherwise is a disservice to all, is it not?
I could *not* read books that I think are bad. Or could I? Here's how it goes: I happen upon a mention of a self-published book, often through an author's appeal for reads and reviews, I go to Amazon, I click on the "Look Inside" feature and check the book out. Maybe it's simply not to my taste, or just kind of dull, or clearly overlong or overwritten, and that's that. But sometimes, there is something undeniably intriguing about it. Maybe it's shockingly bad e-book formatting, and/or wildly poor sentence construction, or something else that's just intriguingly odd or wrong about it. When I see that, this happens next: I can't sleep. Literal insomnia with thoughts about that book's sample running through my head. I just have to keep reading. It's a problem! I know! I find myself hounded until I sit down, read the free sample in entirety, and this is what my thoughts look like as I read: "Uhh . . . what? How? ... No... no way! Why? OMG" and I am compelled to purchase and read the whole thing, and following that compelled to pen my review and share my experience with the world. I've tried ignoring such books, hoping to forget they exist, but I have failed. My stupid brain won't let them go! This is what happened to me with [b:Sineria: The Great Kingdom|44766239|Sineria The Great Kingdom|Dave J. Williams|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1554228729l/44766239._SX50_.jpg|69395934], and the rest is history.
I must expand on this point: why do I knowingly read books that I think are bad? I'm certainly not alone in this; this particular sub-hobby has led me to find similar-minded folks, such as through the podcast '372-pages-I'll-never-get-back'. It's not just any bad book; everyone hates [b:Twilight|41865|Twilight (The Twilight Saga, #1)|Stephenie Meyer|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1361039443l/41865._SY75_.jpg|3212258] but you won't catch me reading it. I try not to "hate-read". The book has to be bad in a special way. Everyone has 'guilty pleasure'-type reads that they know are objectively not great, but they like them anyway (for me, these are Forgotten Realms novels). This is not that either. I don't enjoy my "bad" books in spite of being bad, I enjoy them because they are bad in interesting, unique, and often mind-boggling ways that I happen to find endlessly entertaining. Is this not a compliment to such a book? That despite (in my opinion) bad writing, it has a special character and evokes joy? Plenty of people find enjoyment in reading [b:Moon People|6584471|Moon People (Moon People #1)|Dale M. Courtney|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1347678941l/6584471._SY75_.jpg|6777964] and [b:The Eye of Argon|2129518|The Eye of Argon|Jim Theis|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1347758875l/2129518._SY75_.jpg|2134961] when there is absolutely no case to be made for their writing quality. Now lest anyone think I am comparing the Sineria books to [b:Moon People|6584471|Moon People (Moon People #1)|Dale M. Courtney|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1347678941l/6584471._SY75_.jpg|6777964], settle down; Sineria is better than that. But... I think it's in the same ballpark... (sorry!)... just way over at the other end.
(Again, please, other people, buy and try the book for yourself! Tell me if I'm way off base!)
One easy adjustment I have started making, is giving such books a star rating that better reflects my level of enjoyment, rather than attempting to denote its objective quality. As a result, I have given each of the Sineria books three stars, reflecting the Goodreads default "I liked it" status. That is how I genuinely feel about these books. I like them! They bring me joy! I don't think they're "good" in any traditional sense, but so what? I like them; and that's why I keep reading them. Would I like to see improvement in the writing? Absolutely! I don't write reviews to tell any author how to improve; I'm just some asshole on the internet. But if the author took away the message from my reviews that improved writingcraft would better express their vision for their books, that's fine. Either way, I am going to keep buying and reading this series if more books come out. I would not (or should not) if there was nothing redeemable about them. There are genuine good aspects of them, and on that note, this is where my actual review of [b:Journey for the Samurai|58207298|Journey for the Samurai|Dave J. Williams|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1622432315l/58207298._SY75_.jpg|91241299] begins . . .
*****
I liked this slightly better than the prior two books, because it's shorter. This is not a dig; it's simply that the other books' exploration and battle scenes ran overlong. This third book feels more right-sized. Of course, it benefits from pre-established characters. As before, the real joy of the book is in the characters' enthusiasm for animals, both real and fantastic. I have come to appreciate the characters more over the course of the series as my understanding of their assorted personalities has solidified.
Young adults Hayden, Jake and Melerah learn of Japan and decide to visit it, because it sounds cool and also to get away from Hayden's parents and the Sinerian king and queen, who are constantly bickering childishly while they are all forced to share a residence. Hayden & Co. steal one of the kingdom's five boats, joined unwillingly by the Sinerian knight leader Aaron, and having no idea how to get to Japan, they sail in a random direction. Fortunately, the Great Sinerian Sea in Eastern Europe is somehow connected to the Pacific Ocean and they successfully reach Japan. I would very much like to see a map in the next book.
In Japan they encounter tanukis, Asian dragons, those macaques that live in hot springs in cold places, and Jake unintentionally drinks the urine of two of these three creatures. This is the time to talk about comedy. The book has a lot of jokes (at least I hope this is the intent). I like the banter between characters, but otherwise I find much of the humor overly goofy, slapstick and/or cartoonish. I think it stems from attempting to depict physical comedy in word form, which I imagine is very difficult to do well.
In Japan they also meet the fabled samurai, including their leader Senshi, who is also by default the emperor of Japan because the true emperor is missing (a plot point that is teased for the next book). While the book says "emperor" the impression the text gives is "leader of a small village and maybe six samurai, who does his own shopping and cooking". There is little sense of broader scale conveyed.
The plot is short on conflict until the book's final third, when (spoiler alert) Hayden accidentally breaks Senshi's vase containing some family members' ashes, and a valuable portrait, and somehow this is enough to drive Senshi into an unstoppable homicidal rage for the rest of the book. Seemingly in explanation, we are told repeatedly that he lacked true childhood friends while training to be a samurai, and his one friend died when his dad accidentally pushed him off a waterfall (the dad died too but he was a jerk), but I've got to say, I remain thoroughly unconvinced by his motivations. Erroneous line breaks from the e-book are faithfully transcribed in the following passage:
Many words are repeatedly used incorrectly or at best very awkwardly, such as 'exhaust', 'burst', 'ensuing', 'eccentric', and 'yet'. It wouldn't be right to harp on the occasional error, but when the same words are used clearly incorrectly multiple times in each of several books, it draws attention to itself. My initial placeholder 'teaser review' mocked the book's invention of the word "gleed", meant as "said with glee". If a writer straight-up makes up a word and proceeds to use that word several times, when any editor or grammar-checking software, would say "not a word", is that not worth mentioning? Listing all of the examples was not kind, but it was effective at sharing my experience with others, which is the general purpose of my reviews.
Throughout this series I have struggled to understand the process that produces sentences such as the following, which pervade the book and continue to joyfully mystify me:
The kindle e-book formatting repeats all of the errors present in the first two books, including paragraphs that are wrong one way at the start of chapters and then a different way afterwards; plenty of erroneous line breaks, most egregious in chapter 9 in this book; and the random insertion of page numbers and the book title into the text, presumably originating from headers or footers in the source document that uploaded all wonky:
I could go on and on, but my point is that these are not isolated examples. Virtually every page contains sentences or phrasing that make me go, "Huh?" and want to highlight them and make notes. The book really captures my attention in this way, and provides endless open-mouthed entertainment. I made almost 300 such highlights in the first book, 200 in the second, and in this shorter book I tried to hold back and only highlight the best ones and managed to keep it under 60. I take this as evidence that I did in fact read these books closely; I understand them as well as anyone can. When I don't understand a character's motivation and later a passage purports to explain it, I note it and put it all together later. I don't think I have ignored or misrepresented any information in my reviews of this series. I think maybe there is a significant disconnect between the author's intentions and what the words actually convey to the reader.
Bottom line: Excitement and joy and humour lie at the heart of these books, but the poor book formatting that makes the reading experience arduous, and the strange wordcraft that's hard to wrap your head around, smother the good parts with a pillow while they are sleeping. I take pleasure in the books' oddities, but I am likely in the minority. Good news: both of these things can get better! If they do, the books might find a wider audience.
"The prologue and epilogue tease another plot that sounds more appealing to me than this book's, so I am looking forward to the next book in this series," the reviewer gleed.
Don't take my word for any of it; try the book for yourself!
So... was that any more loving?
The comments are open. Try to be nice (other than to tell me IATA as needed). The author is welcome to comment here (as is anyone) with any questions, concerns that I got anything outright wrong in any of my reviews of this series (I honestly don't think I did), or just to tell me that I'm a big meanie.
I have a problem. ("Marc, you have a lot of problems," you say. Shut up.) Yesterday I listened to a podcast about [a:Chuck Tingle|10788353|Chuck Tingle|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1422164350p2/10788353.jpg] and was reminded that I should prove love is real. I have not been proving love in some of my book reviews. Sometimes I have been kind of mean. I don't want to be mean! And I don't think I am, really, except for sometimes. But often I can't help but be snarky, when faced with what I think is an objectively bad book. One new friend phrased it as me being "a bit gleeful in [my] mockery," which is fact-check: true. So, this is me engaging with myself on this matter.
That's right, it's one of those reviews. Totally allowed! Per Goodreads review guidelines:
Some of the best reviews on Goodreads use the book as inspiration for a personal essay or other piece of creative writing. As long as they don't go against our guidelines in other ways, these reviews are welcome and encouraged!So what does any of this have to do with [b:Journey for the Samurai|58207298|Journey for the Samurai|Dave J. Williams|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1622432315l/58207298._SY75_.jpg|91241299]? Well, I was not exactly complimentary in my reviews of the first two books in the Sineria series ([b:Sineria: The Great Kingdom|44766239|Sineria The Great Kingdom|Dave J. Williams|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1554228729l/44766239._SX50_.jpg|69395934] and [b:Sineria: Age of War|53296300|Sineria Age of War|Dave J. Williams|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/book/50x75-a91bf249278a81aabab721ef782c4a74.png|81202991]). I admittedly applied my "gleeful mockery" style of writing to both reviews. But, re-reading both in the past day, I really don't think I said anything actually mean. I pointed out a lot of problems with the books and the writing, and provided copious writing examples straight from the e-book. Is it mockery to list a lot of bad or strange sentences, if they are the norm for that piece of writing, to prove why I hold my stated opinion? Maybe, probably. I could likely achieve the same effect with a different tone. But would that be interesting to anyone? Let's try an example from this book, page 69 (settle down, you perverts):
Melerah licked her fingers with giggles.Review response option 1: "The intended meaning of this and similar sentences is not hard to determine, but the phrasing is odd, suggesting that giggles were literally employed to perform the action of licking."
Review response option 2: "I mean, I would use my tongue, but Sinerians gonna Sineria, I guess."
Which of these should I go with?And what about when this type of phrasing appears over and over again, throughout every book in the series?
The irritated Sinerian yanked the door back with heavy breaths and arched fingers...How do I adequately express my confused glee at such writing without being a jerk? Should I not use multiple examples? Might readers not think I'm making it up or being nitpicky otherwise? Does anyone disagree that these are poorly written sentences? If so, please let me know, I am happy to talk about it. Even better: someone else, many someone elses, please read the book(s) yourself and tell me if I am way off base. The books are inexpensive and available on Kindle Unlimited. This third book is short. Have at it, and let me know if I am being unreasonable.
. . .
Melerah placed herself back down with huff of irritation.
. . .
He drew his katana with chuckles.
. . .
Hayden slowly lifted himself with grumbles.
. . .
Olleria stroked her chin with light, soothing hums.
After all this preamble, here it is; here is my attempt at a snark-free, as-kind-as-I-can-be-while-remaining-honest review:
Journey for the Samurai is the third entry in the ongoing Sineria medieval fantasy adventure series. In it, young heroes and warriors travel to Japan and encounter new exotic creatures and experience a new culture, including meeting the storied samurai. Part travelogue, part bestiary, part story of martial conflict, the joy of exploration finds its way onto the printed page. Although enthusiastic, the writing sometimes suffers from odd grammar and word usage, and I struggled to understand some of the characters' motivations. There are many comedic moments, but the humour tends to fall flat. The book could benefit from the attention of a professional editor. The kindle e-book formatting in particular could use some tweaking to improve readability.
There, I did it. What do you think of this review? I think it's boring as fuck. What to do? Let's explore some options:
I could refrain from sharing my true feelings about a book. But why? I bought and read the book, I routinely write GR reviews of virtually everything I read, and as far as I'm concerned, that what this space is for; for me to express my reactions to books. I'm not a professional reviewer, I don't have a blog, I'm not a booktuber, any of that; I'm not earning any $$ from this, only the occasional sweet, sweet dopamine hit from a 'like'. I type out my thoughts and feelings here because it helps me work them out, and it helps me solidify my memories of the books I read, and I like to share my experience. I am not a creative type outside of these reviews ("creative" is but one word that might be applied to them, I'm sure you can think of more). Anything I have to say about a book is so far from the be-all and end-all about anything; it's just, like, my opinion, man. Would downplaying my reactions serve any useful purpose?
I could go easy on self-published books. Does any self-publishing author want reviewers to consciously go soft on them, or give pity stars? I doubt it. I don't think I have a super high standard for character, plot, worldbuilding, dialogue, etc. As long as these things are present in a recognizable form and handled not particularly clunkily, I'm good. I am a stickler for e-book formatting; a book should look like a book. Standard fiction must have indented paragraphs without extra line breaks. There are basic market standards that rightfully apply to ANY published fiction. Things can go wrong when uploading a book; if one can't do it right themselves, they need to employ someone who knows how. This is publishing; it ain't WattPad. No one asked me to be a beta reader. The author expects to be paid for their book; publishing a book means, "This is ready to go on the store shelves; it's as good as I can make it." I am obliged to evaluate it accordingly; to do otherwise is a disservice to all, is it not?
I could *not* read books that I think are bad. Or could I? Here's how it goes: I happen upon a mention of a self-published book, often through an author's appeal for reads and reviews, I go to Amazon, I click on the "Look Inside" feature and check the book out. Maybe it's simply not to my taste, or just kind of dull, or clearly overlong or overwritten, and that's that. But sometimes, there is something undeniably intriguing about it. Maybe it's shockingly bad e-book formatting, and/or wildly poor sentence construction, or something else that's just intriguingly odd or wrong about it. When I see that, this happens next: I can't sleep. Literal insomnia with thoughts about that book's sample running through my head. I just have to keep reading. It's a problem! I know! I find myself hounded until I sit down, read the free sample in entirety, and this is what my thoughts look like as I read: "Uhh . . . what? How? ... No... no way! Why? OMG" and I am compelled to purchase and read the whole thing, and following that compelled to pen my review and share my experience with the world. I've tried ignoring such books, hoping to forget they exist, but I have failed. My stupid brain won't let them go! This is what happened to me with [b:Sineria: The Great Kingdom|44766239|Sineria The Great Kingdom|Dave J. Williams|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1554228729l/44766239._SX50_.jpg|69395934], and the rest is history.
I must expand on this point: why do I knowingly read books that I think are bad? I'm certainly not alone in this; this particular sub-hobby has led me to find similar-minded folks, such as through the podcast '372-pages-I'll-never-get-back'. It's not just any bad book; everyone hates [b:Twilight|41865|Twilight (The Twilight Saga, #1)|Stephenie Meyer|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1361039443l/41865._SY75_.jpg|3212258] but you won't catch me reading it. I try not to "hate-read". The book has to be bad in a special way. Everyone has 'guilty pleasure'-type reads that they know are objectively not great, but they like them anyway (for me, these are Forgotten Realms novels). This is not that either. I don't enjoy my "bad" books in spite of being bad, I enjoy them because they are bad in interesting, unique, and often mind-boggling ways that I happen to find endlessly entertaining. Is this not a compliment to such a book? That despite (in my opinion) bad writing, it has a special character and evokes joy? Plenty of people find enjoyment in reading [b:Moon People|6584471|Moon People (Moon People #1)|Dale M. Courtney|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1347678941l/6584471._SY75_.jpg|6777964] and [b:The Eye of Argon|2129518|The Eye of Argon|Jim Theis|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1347758875l/2129518._SY75_.jpg|2134961] when there is absolutely no case to be made for their writing quality. Now lest anyone think I am comparing the Sineria books to [b:Moon People|6584471|Moon People (Moon People #1)|Dale M. Courtney|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1347678941l/6584471._SY75_.jpg|6777964], settle down; Sineria is better than that. But... I think it's in the same ballpark... (sorry!)... just way over at the other end.
(Again, please, other people, buy and try the book for yourself! Tell me if I'm way off base!)
One easy adjustment I have started making, is giving such books a star rating that better reflects my level of enjoyment, rather than attempting to denote its objective quality. As a result, I have given each of the Sineria books three stars, reflecting the Goodreads default "I liked it" status. That is how I genuinely feel about these books. I like them! They bring me joy! I don't think they're "good" in any traditional sense, but so what? I like them; and that's why I keep reading them. Would I like to see improvement in the writing? Absolutely! I don't write reviews to tell any author how to improve; I'm just some asshole on the internet. But if the author took away the message from my reviews that improved writingcraft would better express their vision for their books, that's fine. Either way, I am going to keep buying and reading this series if more books come out. I would not (or should not) if there was nothing redeemable about them. There are genuine good aspects of them, and on that note, this is where my actual review of [b:Journey for the Samurai|58207298|Journey for the Samurai|Dave J. Williams|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1622432315l/58207298._SY75_.jpg|91241299] begins . . .
*****
I liked this slightly better than the prior two books, because it's shorter. This is not a dig; it's simply that the other books' exploration and battle scenes ran overlong. This third book feels more right-sized. Of course, it benefits from pre-established characters. As before, the real joy of the book is in the characters' enthusiasm for animals, both real and fantastic. I have come to appreciate the characters more over the course of the series as my understanding of their assorted personalities has solidified.
Young adults Hayden, Jake and Melerah learn of Japan and decide to visit it, because it sounds cool and also to get away from Hayden's parents and the Sinerian king and queen, who are constantly bickering childishly while they are all forced to share a residence. Hayden & Co. steal one of the kingdom's five boats, joined unwillingly by the Sinerian knight leader Aaron, and having no idea how to get to Japan, they sail in a random direction. Fortunately, the Great Sinerian Sea in Eastern Europe is somehow connected to the Pacific Ocean and they successfully reach Japan. I would very much like to see a map in the next book.
In Japan they encounter tanukis, Asian dragons, those macaques that live in hot springs in cold places, and Jake unintentionally drinks the urine of two of these three creatures. This is the time to talk about comedy. The book has a lot of jokes (at least I hope this is the intent). I like the banter between characters, but otherwise I find much of the humor overly goofy, slapstick and/or cartoonish. I think it stems from attempting to depict physical comedy in word form, which I imagine is very difficult to do well.
In Japan they also meet the fabled samurai, including their leader Senshi, who is also by default the emperor of Japan because the true emperor is missing (a plot point that is teased for the next book). While the book says "emperor" the impression the text gives is "leader of a small village and maybe six samurai, who does his own shopping and cooking". There is little sense of broader scale conveyed.
The plot is short on conflict until the book's final third, when (spoiler alert) Hayden accidentally breaks Senshi's vase containing some family members' ashes, and a valuable portrait, and somehow this is enough to drive Senshi into an unstoppable homicidal rage for the rest of the book. Seemingly in explanation, we are told repeatedly that he lacked true childhood friends while training to be a samurai, and his one friend died when his dad accidentally pushed him off a waterfall (the dad died too but he was a jerk), but I've got to say, I remain thoroughly unconvinced by his motivations. Erroneous line breaks from the e-book are faithfully transcribed in the following passage:
"He broke a vase that meant a lot to me, and proceeded to tear a painting of value to me! The vase especially, was the only thing I had left of the family members who actually LOVED me, and didn’t see me as another warrior to throw out there!” “But, why kill him?” Aaron said. “At least just banish him and allowOkay then!
him to never return. We all would be fine with that over him being
ruthlessly slaughtered at the end of a samurai’s katana.” Senshi laughed. “How about I just banish you from life?”
“Wait,” Jack said, stepping forward. “You’re killing my son over an
object that can be stuck back together?” “Oh, I don’t think you guys understand,” Senshi uttered, flicking
dirt off the tip of the katana. “I’m not just killing him. I’m killing all of
you!”
Many words are repeatedly used incorrectly or at best very awkwardly, such as 'exhaust', 'burst', 'ensuing', 'eccentric', and 'yet'. It wouldn't be right to harp on the occasional error, but when the same words are used clearly incorrectly multiple times in each of several books, it draws attention to itself. My initial placeholder 'teaser review' mocked the book's invention of the word "gleed", meant as "said with glee". If a writer straight-up makes up a word and proceeds to use that word several times, when any editor or grammar-checking software, would say "not a word", is that not worth mentioning? Listing all of the examples was not kind, but it was effective at sharing my experience with others, which is the general purpose of my reviews.
Throughout this series I have struggled to understand the process that produces sentences such as the following, which pervade the book and continue to joyfully mystify me:
The samurai’s mouth gaped and released a gasp.The samurai didn't gasp; his mouth apparently did this all on its own.
He was donned in unique yet astounding armor.I don't see how uniqueness in any way creates an exception to being astounding.
Aaron gazed at the oceanic reptiles, and an idea invoked in his head. His face lit up with a creeping smile. With his idea ready to be born, Aaron shot up and rushed to the friends.This idea is doing a lot of work independent of Aaron's brain, it seems.
Grumbles shaking trees gained the attention of the sorrowful Sinerians and samurai.The grumbles in question came from a large dragon. I don't think this information makes this sentence any less awkward.
The kindle e-book formatting repeats all of the errors present in the first two books, including paragraphs that are wrong one way at the start of chapters and then a different way afterwards; plenty of erroneous line breaks, most egregious in chapter 9 in this book; and the random insertion of page numbers and the book title into the text, presumably originating from headers or footers in the source document that uploaded all wonky:
The beasts' dark spears, swords, hatchets, and throwing blades collided with katanas, naginatas, and arrows, fillThis is from the book's sixth paragraph, plainly visible to anyone checking the book's free preview on Amazon. While it would be powerful to think that a bad review from me could tank sales, I doubt this; the way the book presents itself on preview does this all on its own, except for assholes like me for who this simply draws in further.
1
ing the air with chaos.
I could go on and on, but my point is that these are not isolated examples. Virtually every page contains sentences or phrasing that make me go, "Huh?" and want to highlight them and make notes. The book really captures my attention in this way, and provides endless open-mouthed entertainment. I made almost 300 such highlights in the first book, 200 in the second, and in this shorter book I tried to hold back and only highlight the best ones and managed to keep it under 60. I take this as evidence that I did in fact read these books closely; I understand them as well as anyone can. When I don't understand a character's motivation and later a passage purports to explain it, I note it and put it all together later. I don't think I have ignored or misrepresented any information in my reviews of this series. I think maybe there is a significant disconnect between the author's intentions and what the words actually convey to the reader.
Bottom line: Excitement and joy and humour lie at the heart of these books, but the poor book formatting that makes the reading experience arduous, and the strange wordcraft that's hard to wrap your head around, smother the good parts with a pillow while they are sleeping. I take pleasure in the books' oddities, but I am likely in the minority. Good news: both of these things can get better! If they do, the books might find a wider audience.
"The prologue and epilogue tease another plot that sounds more appealing to me than this book's, so I am looking forward to the next book in this series," the reviewer gleed.
Don't take my word for any of it; try the book for yourself!
So... was that any more loving?
The comments are open. Try to be nice (other than to tell me IATA as needed). The author is welcome to comment here (as is anyone) with any questions, concerns that I got anything outright wrong in any of my reviews of this series (I honestly don't think I did), or just to tell me that I'm a big meanie.