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A review by eastofthesol
Born Confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier
4.0
"I was born different--it started from the skin and seeped all the way in, till nothing matched."
This novel was the first YA contemporary novel written about being Indian in the US so I have a lot of things to say about it.
(My being Indian also probably has a lot to do with why I feel so strongly about this book.)
Considering this book is over ten years old and doesn't exist in the mainstream of contemporary novels, I'm reviewing this more critically. This review will be less of a summary and more of what I liked and disliked so beware of spoilers.
The Good:
The novel blends serious discussions about identity with modern coming-of-age trials and tribulations, along with lots of humor and clever observations of the United States.
"--Dimple, don't be too selfish about sharing your culture with her. At least we have a culture to share. The poor girl--what does she have? Pokemon and McDonalds and Survivor.
--But that's what I have, too, Mom. And Pokemon's Japanese."
Hidier does not shy away from what it means to live in diaspora within American society. What I mean by this is that the narrator, Dimple, experiences it all within this story. She discusses everything from white boy fetishization of asian women to cultural appropriation in all of its many forms. There's even a scene in the story in which the main characters attend a South Asian conference at NYU where they bring up these topics. Dimple encounters so many things that I've experienced throughout my life and it's so comforting/refreshing to find that in literature.
Like the title of the novel suggests, Dimple is very confused about who she is. Is she Indian? Is she American? Can she be both? That's largely what she struggles to answer as she goes through a coming-of-age of sorts within the story.
I thoroughly enjoyed how Dimple interacted with her family and other Indian people that she meets, as she often learns a great deal from these varying individuals. Hidier weaves in a lot of diversity among the Indian-American community. She doesn't ever portray Indians as a monolithic ethnicity and I applaud her for it. So often, people think that just because two people are Indian, they share the same religious and cultural experience, which is not always the case. In the beginning of the novel, Dimple comments on how she's never really gotten along with the only other Indian in her grade--Jimmy Singh, who's Sikh, which is completely different from her family's Hindu upbringing. I like how it wasn't an instant bond between the two simply because they are both Indian. (Though they do become friends after Dimple realizes that Jimmy's actually cool as fuck and goes hard at dance clubs, which I thought was hilarious.)
There's just so much to like about this novel and all the interesting, realistic people Dimple comes across. This would have been one of my favorite novels of all time if it wasn't for one glaringly bad character that I wish never existed....
The Bad:
The best friend aka nightmare that is Gwyn Sexton. This character literally made me scream multiple times while reading this book. Gwyn is a person of color's worst nightmare when it comes to a friend.
She's manipulative, inconsiderate, selfish, etc. But she also appropriates Dimple's culture like it's nobody's business and consistently shits all over Dimple throughout the book. Dimple's friendship with this toxic girl is what kept this novel from speaking to my soul and transcending time and space within my heart. I have never encountered a character more frustrating and cruel than Gwyn. She's the ultimate villain--someone who really truly does mean best in their own twisted way, but is nothing but a cancer to the main character.
The worst part is that it's completely realistic for a person of color to have a friend like Gwyn. Though I feel as if most people would have ditched Gwyn pretty quickly. I can't say the same for Dimple. She forgives Gwyn for all of the many things Gwyn does to her and suddenly everything's a-okay. Fuck that. I'm not a supporter of keeping toxic people in one's life so I can't empathize with their wonky friendship.
I hate that their fucked friendship is what kept me from loving this novel. At one point in the book, I was literally asking myself 'Wait, is this Gwyn's coming of age story or Dimple's?'. Many times it felt as if we were experiencing the life of Gwyn, not the life of Dimple, our narrator, which sucks. But I guess that was sort of the point for Dimple's character growth and what-not.
Overall, there are many things to like about this book. I would recommend this to anyone curious about the adolescence of an Indian-American and I would definitely suggest that more Indian people get a hold of this book. It's hilarious, poignant, heartwarming, and ridiculously frustrating at times. But isn't that the makings of a great coming-of-age tale?
"I remembered my mother's once cryptic advice to never make decisions when horizontal, even alone, and it seemed to make sense now, because your mind was much closer to extreme states in this position--depression, dreaming, insanity."