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catrev 's review for:
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a powerful must read for any couple struggling in their marriage, or just trying to make it better. I read the book several years ago and was deeply impacted by the information inside, and it's one that I'll probably reread several times over the course of my life and marriage as a refresher to remember to follow its principles. Chapman, a counselor for many years, has come up with a list of five love languages that everyone has: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Gifts. Everyone speaks their own language, and often in marriages, the wife speaks her language to the husband, while he speaks his language to her, and neither feels truly loved because it doesn't register for them. Chapman opines that each person has a "love tank" that is only filled by their specific language, so if your partner is constantly buying you gifts, but you crave physical touch, you're going to feel unloved and hurt. Chapman relates each language through a series of stories about couples he has counseled. Every couple has a powerful story of healing and recovery, including the last story about a woman whose husband is verbally abusive and cold; by working to love her enemy and fill his tank, after several months, the husband was soon reaching out as well. The book includes a quiz in the back for husbands and wives to take and determine their own languages, as well as several tips for fulfilling each love language. Chapman writes with a light tone, despite the often heavy material, and his checklists include often humorous asides "While eating together, let your foot or knee drift over and touch your spouse. Be careful you are not rubbing the dog." Together, the book feels like a couple of hours in Chapman's office, with great tips, powerful insights, and humor to keep it from getting too dark. 5 stars