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mariahreadit 's review for:
Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
I wonder how much of a game changer it would be if we actually followed these suggestions when raising millennials. And I KNOW, I know. that we have had it so much better than those before us but there is still so much to be done.
The reason why I was so impressed by this is because it concisely lays out many issues I - and women in general - have struggled with and continue to struggle with on a daily basis. This is layed out so beautifully and with the utmost care and it is a treasure.
While at the moment I don't want kids or have plans for kids, I am going to be an aunt relatively soon, and I find myself constantly thinking about what kind of example I want to set for my future niece or nephew. While it will be ultimately up to my sister and her husband to choose how to raise and educate their children, I feel like I have to pay attention to how I behave and speak around this little girl or little boy because there are so many problems already deeply embeded in our language and behavior - we have information bombarding us from all sides telling us how we should look, behave, speak, act and I don't want to just be another voice in that mayhem.
As a 26 year old woman who chooses to be single, not only because I have other priorities at the moment, but because my last few experiences have faced me with men who expect things from me that I am not willing to give. I am not willing to be less ambitious at work. I am not willing to sacrifice my designated studying time. I am not willing to quiet down on the issues. I am not willing to let someone pay for my meals because I am perfectly capable of doing that myself. I am not willing to settle for the first relationship that comes my way if that person doesn't have a similar mindset as I do. I mean, how big of a turn off is it when you're out with a guy you like and he says something like "I love how confident you are, for a girl"
I've been lucky enough to have been in classrooms my whole life and I learned very early on in academia that old white male professors (who have made up the majority of my undergrad and law school career) are much more likely to call on men to aswer a question or argue a point. I have also found in debates that guys will talk over you as easy as breathing for no other reason that one ever has told them they can't do that. I have made it a point since I've realized this to establish the fact that I will not tolerate that. One month into a semester every professor will know my name and will know not to ignore me because. I. have. shit. to. say.
So I will be giving my sister a copy of this book when she does choose to have a baby - she's 28 and has been married for less than a year and everyday I hear someone ask her when she is going to have a baby, which is absolutely ridiculous. And it just goes to show how necessary this conversation is.
The reason why I was so impressed by this is because it concisely lays out many issues I - and women in general - have struggled with and continue to struggle with on a daily basis. This is layed out so beautifully and with the utmost care and it is a treasure.
While at the moment I don't want kids or have plans for kids, I am going to be an aunt relatively soon, and I find myself constantly thinking about what kind of example I want to set for my future niece or nephew. While it will be ultimately up to my sister and her husband to choose how to raise and educate their children, I feel like I have to pay attention to how I behave and speak around this little girl or little boy because there are so many problems already deeply embeded in our language and behavior - we have information bombarding us from all sides telling us how we should look, behave, speak, act and I don't want to just be another voice in that mayhem.
As a 26 year old woman who chooses to be single, not only because I have other priorities at the moment, but because my last few experiences have faced me with men who expect things from me that I am not willing to give. I am not willing to be less ambitious at work. I am not willing to sacrifice my designated studying time. I am not willing to quiet down on the issues. I am not willing to let someone pay for my meals because I am perfectly capable of doing that myself. I am not willing to settle for the first relationship that comes my way if that person doesn't have a similar mindset as I do. I mean, how big of a turn off is it when you're out with a guy you like and he says something like "I love how confident you are, for a girl"
I've been lucky enough to have been in classrooms my whole life and I learned very early on in academia that old white male professors (who have made up the majority of my undergrad and law school career) are much more likely to call on men to aswer a question or argue a point. I have also found in debates that guys will talk over you as easy as breathing for no other reason that one ever has told them they can't do that. I have made it a point since I've realized this to establish the fact that I will not tolerate that. One month into a semester every professor will know my name and will know not to ignore me because. I. have. shit. to. say.
So I will be giving my sister a copy of this book when she does choose to have a baby - she's 28 and has been married for less than a year and everyday I hear someone ask her when she is going to have a baby, which is absolutely ridiculous. And it just goes to show how necessary this conversation is.