A review by just_one_more_paige
Stars in Your Eyes by Kacen Callender

emotional reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

 
I read my first book by Callender a few years ago, the YA novel Felix Ever After. It was such a solid read and I've been meaning to read something else by them since then. And then this one popped up on my NetGalley (and then was an ALC option through Libro.fm). And it was just the right fit at the right time. This has been a fantasy and romance heavy escapist reading year for me, so this was the perfect time for this book to be all over my radar. And then oh my goodness, it was actually perfect. 
 
Logan Gray made his (very famous) name as an award-winning child actor, but since then has slid into the role of Hollywood "bad boy" on and off screen. He's the actor persona that people love to hate, struggling with steady relationships, substance abuse and more. Mattie Cole is an up-and-coming "golden boy;" an actor new to the screen with a lot of buzz and a ton of worshipping fans, which is great, but not at all helping him with his insecurities about being new to the game and publicly out. These two are cast as the leads in an upcoming romantic drama-comedy, and are convinced to jump into a fake dating scheme to help bring greater hype to the movie. As they are forced to spend more time together, publicly and in filming, their rough start turns into a real connection. But they'll have to both deal with their individual traumas as well, in order to be able to fully commit to whatever they have growing between them. 
 
Ok look, early reviews said this was a bit more intense (topically and emotionally) than advertised, but that it also hits a lot hearder (in good ways) because of that. And let me just add my full-throated agreement to that sentiment. I had *all* the feelings while reading this. I cried tears of anger, heartbreak, happiness, hope...and I was all in for Logan and Mattie. I'm going to say a lot more, because I loved so much and have so much to say, but really, I already made my main point...that I freaking loved this book. A late contender, but absolutely an addition to, my favorite reads of the year list! 
 
So, let's see. I thought this was grounded in reality in a great way, with real (current) actors and movies being referenced to give it that validity. This was further developed and supported with the compilation of POVs and news clippings and social media and snippets from memoirs and fan fic that were scattered throughout. All the things that you'd find related to a story like this unfolding IRL were present in this novel and that was so well done. This story itself felt a bit expected and easy, for a while, as the movie script and the real life grumpy/sunshine dating situation mirrored each other. However, it was so well written and genuine that I found it compelling despite that. And as the story developed past the first half/two-thirds of the novel, the triple and quadruple layers of tension and relationship confusion became so nuanced and complicated and touching and difficult, in all the right ways, that that "expectedness" was completely overcome for me, and I was just lost in the characters and on the edge of my seat for how they'd work things out. I even made a note, while listening, that "this story builds a powerful momentum." And I couldn't agree with myself more, to be honest. 
 
Outside of the relationship build between Logan and Mattie, the other main theme of this novel was trauma (child sexual abuse, sexual assault, family/public homophobia, verbal abuse). There was a lot of it and it wasn't easy. Callender writes a short note about it, as a preface to the book, and I suggest every reader take their words seriously and be careful going into this. But it is all handled very realistically (understanding that no one experience of trauma is "right" or "wrong") and openly, but with care. Dealing with trauma, and vulnerability related to that, as well as how to support someone else's mental health without losing yourself to it, is so complex, and shown as such in these pages. It was heart-wrenching to read Logan and Mattie trying and (in small steps) managing to establish boundaries, communicate, create safe spaces, and support growth for each other, all while struggling to come to terms with their own issues and attempt to determine their own futures for themselves. The parts of this that had to be done away from each other were painful (for me as a reader), but such a great portrayal, and an important message that we cannot help others if we are drowning ourselves.   
A tangential theme to all of this is that no matter who we are, how famous/well off we may be, at the end of the day we are all people. People who are complex and flawed and dealing with things no one knows about. And everyone deserves to be treated with grace, as a human. What a commentary Callender makes on the media bullshit quagmire that going after justice causes a victim to deal with (sometimes/often to the point where they let the perpetrator "get away with it," because that’s easier for them, to not have to deal with backlash and public opinion). Heartbreaking. And way too real. Similarly, the way media narratives label "heroes" and "villains," and then proceed to treat exact same situations/choices differently in different people, based on those externally applied labels, without any nuance nor consideration of the why/context, is horrifyingly accurately shown.    
 
Before I close, I want to also say that I listened to the audio, thanks to Libro.fm. It was spectacular. The full cast and the bonus sound effects were fantastic! Highly recommend that experience. 
 
There’s so much pain and bravery and vulnerability in this novel here that it’s painful (in the way I love, as a reader, because it makes me so invested in the story and the characters). And it is so compellingly balanced with love (including some wonderful steamy scenes) and support. Plus: OH the HEALING! On that note, this story ended so well. There are so many ways that would have been less right, and so even though it was a lower key sort of vibe to finish, as opposed to the frenetic intensity of the rest of the novel, that more mature and balanced vibe was the exact right way to close. 
 
*I haven't done this in awhile, but I couldn't find a better spot to mention it, so I'm just adding it to the end here. If you are looking for a read-alike for If This Gets Out, try this book. It is, obviously, more mature (makes sense, as this is adult and that is YA), but the vibes are quite similar. And, in my opinion, this is better!* 
 
“I’ve never even had that experience, I’ve only acted the role.” (what a heartbreaking comment, in general and here specifically on the reality for, at least some, child actors) 
 
"True joy can't shine until we work through the darkness and look at the trauma - until we begin to heal. Isn't it more satisfying, then? To see a happily ever after that has been fought for in the end." 
 
"But I think that's where the work for a relationship comes in. Speaking about our needs, hoping they align - working to meet each other where and when we can. It might take a lot of work." 
 
"There is no guarantee that one person will make us happy for the rest of our lives. Instead, there's something else more powerful, even deeper: the realization of love we have for ourselves - and the joy in sharing this love with someone else, and experiencing the love they have for themselves, too. Instead of depending on each other for happiness, we find our happiness individually, and then share that happiness with each other." 
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