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halthemonarch 's review for:
Please Look After Mom
by Kyung-sook Shin
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I started reading this book the week my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s a cautionary tale of seeing your loved ones while they are in your life and appreciating them while they’re around.
So-nyo Park goes missing at a train station in Seoul and her family searches tirelessly for her in the following months. Chi-hon reflects on her mother’s humanity and what must have been her whole life before she became just “mom” and a slave to all that entailed. Her eldest son, Hyong-chol reflects on how his mother supported his schooling and was the catalyst for getting a big job-- he never wanted his mother to sleep in the cold again. But in grinding for a better lifestyle, he forgot to cherish her. Life happened, and then she goes missing and after a while, is presumed dead without ever having Hyong-chol take care of her in kind. Her husband reflects on how shut down and cold he was to his wife, alternately freezing her out and blowing up at her after his brother Kyun’s death, to whom So-nyo was close. He reflects on leaving their family more than once, having an affair, and then neglecting/unappreciating his wife to the point where he spurned her attempts to connect with him, dissociated through her cancer diagnosis and ignored her symptoms of dementia. Memories of when he should have spoken up and advocated for his wife, cooked for her, or spoken more kindly to her haunt him. He goes home and cries for the first time since he was a boy-- not since Kyun, or the war. Final Chapter spoilers after this:
I was deeply confused as to what was going on om the final chapter before realizing that So-nyo is dead. My friend recommended this book for me, and I think they told me that?? But I had definitely forgotten by the time I realized it again! In some cultures, they believe a spirit roams the earth until their body is given a proper burial, so, tragically, So-nyo visits those she loves, confused and lost in the memories of her life in death. This means no one has found her body. It’s painful not knowing what happened to her, reading about how she’s trying to find her children but could only find one or how she visits her friend who has dementia like she did. So-nyo finds the spirit of her dead mother, holding her own dead body. The book ends with Chi-hon praying on a rosary in Italy over her mother, asking the mother Mary to please look after mom.
https://www.supersummary.com/please-look-after-mom/summary/
Everyone feels like they couldn’ve appreciated their loved ones more when they’re gone. Reads like this inspire me to spread the love while I still can. Sad, staccato, and incredibly moving. 4.5 stars!
So-nyo Park goes missing at a train station in Seoul and her family searches tirelessly for her in the following months. Chi-hon reflects on her mother’s humanity and what must have been her whole life before she became just “mom” and a slave to all that entailed. Her eldest son, Hyong-chol reflects on how his mother supported his schooling and was the catalyst for getting a big job-- he never wanted his mother to sleep in the cold again. But in grinding for a better lifestyle, he forgot to cherish her. Life happened, and then she goes missing and after a while, is presumed dead without ever having Hyong-chol take care of her in kind. Her husband reflects on how shut down and cold he was to his wife, alternately freezing her out and blowing up at her after his brother Kyun’s death, to whom So-nyo was close. He reflects on leaving their family more than once, having an affair, and then neglecting/unappreciating his wife to the point where he spurned her attempts to connect with him, dissociated through her cancer diagnosis and ignored her symptoms of dementia. Memories of when he should have spoken up and advocated for his wife, cooked for her, or spoken more kindly to her haunt him. He goes home and cries for the first time since he was a boy-- not since Kyun, or the war. Final Chapter spoilers after this:
I was deeply confused as to what was going on om the final chapter before realizing that So-nyo is dead. My friend recommended this book for me, and I think they told me that?? But I had definitely forgotten by the time I realized it again! In some cultures, they believe a spirit roams the earth until their body is given a proper burial, so, tragically, So-nyo visits those she loves, confused and lost in the memories of her life in death. This means no one has found her body. It’s painful not knowing what happened to her, reading about how she’s trying to find her children but could only find one or how she visits her friend who has dementia like she did. So-nyo finds the spirit of her dead mother, holding her own dead body. The book ends with Chi-hon praying on a rosary in Italy over her mother, asking the mother Mary to please look after mom.
https://www.supersummary.com/please-look-after-mom/summary/
Everyone feels like they couldn’ve appreciated their loved ones more when they’re gone. Reads like this inspire me to spread the love while I still can. Sad, staccato, and incredibly moving. 4.5 stars!
Content Warnings
Minor: Death, Dementia, War