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A review by katharina90
How to Have Impossible Conversations: A Very Practical Guide by James A. Lindsay, Peter Boghossian
informative
reflective
slow-paced
2.0
Started off well enough with tips on how to have productive conversations with people whose beliefs or opinions are very different from your own.
This included things like:
-listening to understand
-assuming good intent (with the exception of trolls)
-approaching with curiosity (do they know something I don't?)
-asking open-ended questions (what?, how?)
-modeling behaviors you'd like to see (admit ignorance, avoid jargon, normalize changing your mind)
-"yes/and" or "interesting/and" instead of "but"
-avoiding conversations while you're angry
-not arguing on social media
As the book went on, the authors started diving into strategies aimed at changing people's minds which felt icky and seemed like a major departure from having conversations aimed at understanding and the idea that people with different views could learn from one another through a productive exchange of perspectives.
Some of the tactics presented later in the book felt quite intense and manipulative. The fact that all of us have so much to (un)learn and none of us can be sure that our views are "correct" (and everyone else is "wrong") completely went out the window.
Also not sure how the authors went from "don't end friendships because of political disagreements" to "here's how to get your conversation partner to doubt their own beliefs and start to think more like you".
This included things like:
-listening to understand
-assuming good intent (with the exception of trolls)
-approaching with curiosity (do they know something I don't?)
-asking open-ended questions (what?, how?)
-modeling behaviors you'd like to see (admit ignorance, avoid jargon, normalize changing your mind)
-"yes/and" or "interesting/and" instead of "but"
-avoiding conversations while you're angry
-not arguing on social media
As the book went on, the authors started diving into strategies aimed at changing people's minds which felt icky and seemed like a major departure from having conversations aimed at understanding and the idea that people with different views could learn from one another through a productive exchange of perspectives.
Some of the tactics presented later in the book felt quite intense and manipulative. The fact that all of us have so much to (un)learn and none of us can be sure that our views are "correct" (and everyone else is "wrong") completely went out the window.
Also not sure how the authors went from "don't end friendships because of political disagreements" to "here's how to get your conversation partner to doubt their own beliefs and start to think more like you".
Content Warnings
Minor: Ableism