A review by meggie82461
Confess by A. Zavarelli

4.0

4 stars!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

”Have you ever wished that something was a dream?”
"Every day of my life."


This review might be kind of a mess. Usually, when I rate a book four stars, that's me issuing a blanket "above average" statement. This is not that kind of four-star rating. Elements of this book were 5+ stars, but I've come to the conclusion that for whatever reason, I seem to personally suffer from some sort of problem with this particular author. There's little doubt that she's full of both talent and fresh ideas, but when it comes her characters- well, her heroes, really- I still feel like I have no idea who they actually are. It's not a "her" thing, it's a me thing. Regardless, a hero can make or break a story for me, so when I feel like I can't flesh him out, the story just can't be perfect to me. That being said, this author knows how to write the shit out of a story, and I enjoyed this one more than the other one of hers I read. Also, despite the fact that I didn't ever feel like I fully knew Lucian, I loved the things I did know for sure. Most importantly, though, I have little doubt that the majority of my GR friends will approve of this story, especially the ones that have loved A Zavarelli's books in the past. The sex was HOT and the palpable chemistry between the MCs was scorching in a way that still stayed true to the events during and before the story.

She still smelled of coconut oil and sunshine. Paradise, if there was such a place. It was ironic, considering she had been forged in the depths of hell.

Standing in front of me, in the form of a beautiful woman, was a girl who never got to be.


Gypsy Blue was a very sympathetic heroine whom I struggled with at first, but ultimately grew to really like. When she and Lucian cross paths in the present, she's supporting herself and her little sister by running cons on unsuspecting rich and powerful men. She's a beautiful young woman who thinks the world owes her something after her harrowing childhood, and from where I was sitting, I didn't blame her for thinking that way. That along with the fact that I have some of my own disdain for the kind of men she targeted meant that I never really looked at her in a negative light. At times, I almost wished that she was a worse person, because then I could maybe understand why Lucian made the choices he did. Eventually, though, I started to realize that no matter what I thought of her, it's still not healthy to live a life that is rooted in the traumatic events of your past. Gypsy did need to grow enough to start looking ahead, and her journey in doing so was both relatable and touching. Thankfully, she held on to the aspects of her personality that I loved from the beginning while also slowly shedding the overbearing weight of her traumatic childhood.

I wanted to protect this girl, but I couldn’t deny the urge inside me that wanted to ruin her too.

For years, every hour had been gray. I'd lived under a cloud of perpetual rain until she came along, and now my life was filled with color. A storm of passionate red. She was changing the landscape of my life, and I didn't like it.


As I've made clear, I don't really know how to describe Lucian West. I also resented the idea that Gypsy simply needed a man to guide her, especially after what they had done to her in the past. I also found some of Lucian's decisions and actions to be mean-spirited and selfish, which seemed hypocritical when I considered what he thought of her character. I know Lucian was meant to be an enigma, and that's fine, but I still couldn't really make sense of him. That being said, I absolutely understood- and agreed with- his core belief system, which was one aspect of him that was very clearly presented. That ended up being a game-changer, because it was a big enough thing to allow me to believe in him, even if I didn't always agree with his methods. Additionally, there's no doubt those methods were effective. Since they both had to come to terms with the way their pasts had shaped them, their relationship was more of a slow burn. I did love the progression of it because if it had happened any differently (read: quicker), I wouldn't have found it plausible. I also really did love the way he loved Gypsy, even if there was a disconnect between that and his actions. I still think he was unknowingly hypocritical and not entirely self-aware, but nonetheless, he proved himself to be exactly what Gypsy needed in her life.

"You're psychotic."
"Maybe." He offered me a grim smile. "Or maybe I'm the best thing that ever happened to you."


I've been intentionally vague about the plot, so I know this review will make more sense to people that have already read it. If you haven't, just know there are triggers, as well as some plot holes and twists that didn't always work for me. However, I remained interested the entire way through. I would consider the story "average" on the light/dark scale, because while it had a dark undercurrent throughout, the main themes were those of redemption, hope, and faith. I also didn't have problems with the side characters like I did with the main ones, because while it was fairly transparent that the author was setting up future stories, they were still interesting, multi-faceted, and organic to the story being told. The last thing I wanted to note was that the author was brave to take on some serious, heavy issues while weaving Gypsy and Lucian's story, and she did so believably and respectfully.

I was prepared to let Gypsy know from the start how this game would be played. Only one set of rules existed, and they were mine.

"I want every beautiful piece of you, pet. Even the filthy ones."

She trembled, and it triggered an image of me baptizing her naked form in this holy water, only to desecrate her afterward like the true heathen I was.

I wanted to taste the tears she cried for me while I fucked her so hard she wouldn't be able to sit down for a week.

Lucian was a lot of things I didn't like, but he was also a protector. An alpha. A guardian.

Now she knew that I never needed her pain, only her surrender.

I didn't care if it was wrong anymore. I wanted to be inside her every second that I could until all my seconds were gone.