A review by rachaeeelod
How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships by Nicole LePera

2.0

There are some really great points in here, but I wish there wasn’t such an attempt to present the reasons behind them as scientific. She takes observations on things like interconnectedness and the impacts of people’s behaviour, emotions, and perceived energy on others - which are interesting and meaningful - and then articulates hypotheses about why that might be as fact, rather than opinion. She presents spiritual ideas and concepts, which can be extremely helpful to people. I just wish they were presented as her spirituality, rather than as coming from her education as a psychologist with a PHD. I’m not saying that there was nothing scientifically backed up in this book, but rather that the divergence of science and opinion should have been clear, and I don’t think that’s unreasonable to expect from an author who prints her title of Dr. on the cover of her book. I believe many of the ideas in this book can be really helpful to people as beliefs, tools for visualisation and psychological exercises. I listened to the audiobook and it was well narrated.
I find much of Dr. Nicole’s work to be extremely helpful in understanding my emotions, learned behaviours and as a general background to my own brain and thought processes, as well as where they might be coming from. As a secular thinker, I can also take plenty of her spiritual beliefs and use them as tools to visualise things that are otherwise quite intangible, as “we know this thing exists, here are some ideas about why, but we don’t truly understand much of why it occurs yet”. As such I think this and her previous books are extremely helpful to people.