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A review by selfmythologies
I'm Not Stiller by Max Frisch
5.0
In my edition of this book, there's a quote by Hermann Hesse in the blurb which basically says: you have to read this book in a way that you take part in it, in the 'game' it plays; otherwise it doesn't work. and I agree with that, and I think the way to get the most out of it is actually applying the game to yourself.
The game is, basically, looking at yourself as if you were a different person, as if this you had nothing to do with the real you, as if you were a stranger; and then trying to understand that stranger. And then follow the novel, with that in mind; it's incredible and strange and unsettling and certainly gave me a really productive reading experience.
For the protagonist of the book, of course, this desire to be someone else comes from a very real sensation of self-estrangement; and in the course of his reflections, there are so many topics the book touches on - relating of course to identity, the way we construct our own identity (and in that way, already alienate us from ourselves but we just cant stop doing it), the way other people construct our identity; a lot also about human relationships, their possibilities but mostly their impossibilities, mostly regarding marriage, but also friendship; the way we construct images of other people making ~real~ communication, whatever that is, kind of impossible; how we construct these images according to ourselves, what this person means /to us/, and think this is the only way they are; a lot of interesting stuff about how basically low self esteem, or the feeling of having some sort of deficiency, makes all of this especially severe because we feel like we have to prove ourselves by our relationships with people, making 'projects' out of relationships, making people into images of salvation or damnation; the way a lot of people recognize their own tendencies of self-estrangement, but stay stuck in this recognition, not being able to accept themselves as they really are; the way we try to intellectualize our way out of these questions by pretending that as we understand them, we already solved them (which only furthers the alienation because we dont allow ourselves to experience our real feelings); the limits of being able to 'save' another person, or change them; the limits of speaking about ourselves, the limits of speaking in general.
A lot of these are thoughts I've had myself, over the years, questions and doubts that were familiar; so it felt a bit like taking a journey through my own mind; some of them were new; and quite a lot of them hit home, because I recognized my own, well, flaws or misconceptions in them. The weird thing is the whole novel is basically one giant self reflection, so reading it feels super personal (if you mix it up with your own self reflection), and universal at the same time.
There is also a bit of interesting political stuff (criticism of Swiss mentality, contrasts of the Western world with....uh, a lot of other cultures? that mostly end negative for the Western world but also often ambiguous; some discussions on communism and resistance and ideologies in general), but it only comes in bits and is easy to miss i you dont look for it (but I actually liked the subtlety)
of course, there's also some period-typical racism and homophobia (which goes under 'I recognize and am aware that it sucks but it doesnt really have much to do with my reasons for enjoying the book so it doesn't influence the rating') , and....misogyny? Actually, ....hm. It's there, but there are also some really interesting and accurate remarks on the problematic nature of what we see as masculinity, and Sybille (one of my favorite characters actually) has a) a lot of agency in the book, and b) has an entire paragraph where she talks about how much it sucks that men want women to be their salvation and their creation at the same time but wont let them just be themselves. So, this issue isn't left unreflected even though, of course, we only ever hear the thoughts of male characters so women are sidelined/silenced by nature, but, you know, as a novel written by a guy in the 1950s, I was actually positively surprised by this.
The writing style is.... strange because on the one hand you have these incredible, really absolutely incredible descriptions of relationships, of nature, of human behaviour, accurate to the point, poetic but without romanticizing, just....so great. And then on the other hand you have irony running through the whole thing...it's kind of subtle so it threw me off at the beginning; a lot of the characters seemed almost like caricatures at first, but it's only because the protagonist ridicules the whole situation; he also ridicules himself. Once you recognize how that kind of lowkey sarcastic attitude relates to his personality it's actually super impressive and adds an entire layer to the whole thing. (summary: the writing is amazing)
There are not only questions raised, though, but also possible solutions; even though the ending is mostly sad, so there's kinda both hope and resignation One of the solutions is, simply put, not caring about being misunderstood. it frees other people from your expectations; it frees you from their expectations, too, in a way, because you won't try to manipulate them to see you in a certain way. It is the only way that real communication, and freedom, and relationships that are actually about more than ourselves, are possible. (I think this is entirely true and it's one of my Productive Insights that i take away from reading this)
So....this book was to me (like I said), both something that I recognized a lot of my own thoughts, doubts, fears in, and therefore kind of comforting; and also a challenge, it offered me quite some 'oh shit, i do that' moments, and therefore kind of uncomfortable*; and it's exactly that mix that make a book a favorite to me.
It's also just objectively super relevant and important, and I'd actually recommend it to anyone, as long as you're fine with reading something that is more reflection than action (and can be kind of stretched at times; but it pays off!).
'Aber wie jedermann, der bei sich selbst angekommen ist, blickte er auf Menschen und Dinge außerhalb seiner selbst, und was ihn umgab, fing an, Welt zu werden, etwas anderes als Projektionen seines Selbst, das er nicht länger in der Welt zu suchen oder zu verbergen hatte. Er selbst fing an, in der Welt zu sein.'
*one of the sentences that I felt most called out by: "Wieviel Selbsterkenntnis erschöpft sich darin, den andern mit einer noch etwas präziseren und genaueren Beschreibung unserer Schwächen zuvorzukommen, also in Koketterie!" 10/10, would be burnt again by this user
The game is, basically, looking at yourself as if you were a different person, as if this you had nothing to do with the real you, as if you were a stranger; and then trying to understand that stranger. And then follow the novel, with that in mind; it's incredible and strange and unsettling and certainly gave me a really productive reading experience.
For the protagonist of the book, of course, this desire to be someone else comes from a very real sensation of self-estrangement; and in the course of his reflections, there are so many topics the book touches on - relating of course to identity, the way we construct our own identity (and in that way, already alienate us from ourselves but we just cant stop doing it), the way other people construct our identity; a lot also about human relationships, their possibilities but mostly their impossibilities, mostly regarding marriage, but also friendship; the way we construct images of other people making ~real~ communication, whatever that is, kind of impossible; how we construct these images according to ourselves, what this person means /to us/, and think this is the only way they are; a lot of interesting stuff about how basically low self esteem, or the feeling of having some sort of deficiency, makes all of this especially severe because we feel like we have to prove ourselves by our relationships with people, making 'projects' out of relationships, making people into images of salvation or damnation; the way a lot of people recognize their own tendencies of self-estrangement, but stay stuck in this recognition, not being able to accept themselves as they really are; the way we try to intellectualize our way out of these questions by pretending that as we understand them, we already solved them (which only furthers the alienation because we dont allow ourselves to experience our real feelings); the limits of being able to 'save' another person, or change them; the limits of speaking about ourselves, the limits of speaking in general.
A lot of these are thoughts I've had myself, over the years, questions and doubts that were familiar; so it felt a bit like taking a journey through my own mind; some of them were new; and quite a lot of them hit home, because I recognized my own, well, flaws or misconceptions in them. The weird thing is the whole novel is basically one giant self reflection, so reading it feels super personal (if you mix it up with your own self reflection), and universal at the same time.
There is also a bit of interesting political stuff (criticism of Swiss mentality, contrasts of the Western world with....uh, a lot of other cultures? that mostly end negative for the Western world but also often ambiguous; some discussions on communism and resistance and ideologies in general), but it only comes in bits and is easy to miss i you dont look for it (but I actually liked the subtlety)
of course, there's also some period-typical racism and homophobia (which goes under 'I recognize and am aware that it sucks but it doesnt really have much to do with my reasons for enjoying the book so it doesn't influence the rating') , and....misogyny? Actually, ....hm. It's there, but there are also some really interesting and accurate remarks on the problematic nature of what we see as masculinity, and Sybille (one of my favorite characters actually) has a) a lot of agency in the book, and b) has an entire paragraph where she talks about how much it sucks that men want women to be their salvation and their creation at the same time but wont let them just be themselves. So, this issue isn't left unreflected even though, of course, we only ever hear the thoughts of male characters so women are sidelined/silenced by nature, but, you know, as a novel written by a guy in the 1950s, I was actually positively surprised by this.
The writing style is.... strange because on the one hand you have these incredible, really absolutely incredible descriptions of relationships, of nature, of human behaviour, accurate to the point, poetic but without romanticizing, just....so great. And then on the other hand you have irony running through the whole thing...it's kind of subtle so it threw me off at the beginning; a lot of the characters seemed almost like caricatures at first, but it's only because the protagonist ridicules the whole situation; he also ridicules himself. Once you recognize how that kind of lowkey sarcastic attitude relates to his personality it's actually super impressive and adds an entire layer to the whole thing. (summary: the writing is amazing)
There are not only questions raised, though, but also possible solutions;
So....this book was to me (like I said), both something that I recognized a lot of my own thoughts, doubts, fears in, and therefore kind of comforting; and also a challenge, it offered me quite some 'oh shit, i do that' moments, and therefore kind of uncomfortable*; and it's exactly that mix that make a book a favorite to me.
It's also just objectively super relevant and important, and I'd actually recommend it to anyone, as long as you're fine with reading something that is more reflection than action (and can be kind of stretched at times; but it pays off!).
'Aber wie jedermann, der bei sich selbst angekommen ist, blickte er auf Menschen und Dinge außerhalb seiner selbst, und was ihn umgab, fing an, Welt zu werden, etwas anderes als Projektionen seines Selbst, das er nicht länger in der Welt zu suchen oder zu verbergen hatte. Er selbst fing an, in der Welt zu sein.'
*one of the sentences that I felt most called out by: "Wieviel Selbsterkenntnis erschöpft sich darin, den andern mit einer noch etwas präziseren und genaueren Beschreibung unserer Schwächen zuvorzukommen, also in Koketterie!" 10/10, would be burnt again by this user