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nicolemkscott 's review for:
Faking with Benefits
by Lily Gold
Please. PLEASE. omfg. this was the wackiest shit i’ve ever read in my life. And i’ve read some wacky shit.
A lot of my childhood was spent reading ridiculously bad fanfiction because it made me giggle. The writing was so out there, and the plots never made any sense. Which is why I was able to get through this one, honestly. Hilarity.
This was a reverse harem story. A lot of smut. That might appeal to people but 1) i usually don’t actively search out smut (no shame to those who do, it’s just never been something i enjoy reading), and 2) the reverse harem just didn’t APPEAL to me. Like why don’t they fuck each other too?? Why just her?? My concern might come from my bisexuality, I’m sure. But how do all of them have sex with her but never touch each other?? Like u can’t no homo that. Especially when you’re all getting married and usually don’t bang unless you’re all together.
This was sold to me as “New Girl But They Fuck”, but honestly it’s only because there’s 3 dudes and they live in an apartment. The men don’t fit the men of New Girl. Which cues me to talk about the atrocity that are these characters.
Protagonist: Layla
She’s cool enough. I don’t have any major gripe with her, her learning to come to terms with her sexuality is interesting enough. Her only two character defining traits is being slut shamed in high school and selling underwear. But whatever, she’s fine.
Man #1: Josh
I want to put him first because I don’t have any major beef with him. He’s your stereotypical broody romcom love interest. Hes fine. Couldn’t really tell you any defining traits about him, though.
Man #2: Zack
He’s a lot of the catalyst of this harem situation. He’s like loud and outgoing and talkative and I absolutely hated him. If this were a situation where Layla had to choose, I would absolutely not be rooting for him. His traits were: ex-rugby player and had a fiancée who died. He was mostly just annoying and his commentary was often unnecessary.
Man #3: Luke
This man is a…felon. Technically not, I guess. But he was Layla’s teacher when she was 16 and while it’s like 10 years after that, I was still weirded out from it. At least he had a couple hundred pages of thinking about it, I guess ?? He’s the reason we get this horrendous line, from Zack to Luke:
”please tell me you didn't reject her because you think
teaching her how to read Holes a literal decade ago means you're like, morally forbidden to touch her knee, or whatever. You ain’t her teacher anymore.”
I hated him. Anywho. They were doing this for a podcast that they had, but the reaction to the podcast didn’t sell me. Maybe I’m not a podcast girly so it doesn’t appeal to me that much. But this definitely feels like it would be in a dark corner of podcasts that only asshole dudebros would find. Which made me laugh when Layla said she was gonna do a segments on periods.
Lastly, the last few lines of the last chapter talked about how she was making out with all of them one after the other in public and how she hated that she was getting weird looks. Like girlfriend what do u EXPECT
A lot of my childhood was spent reading ridiculously bad fanfiction because it made me giggle. The writing was so out there, and the plots never made any sense. Which is why I was able to get through this one, honestly. Hilarity.
This was a reverse harem story. A lot of smut. That might appeal to people but 1) i usually don’t actively search out smut (no shame to those who do, it’s just never been something i enjoy reading), and 2) the reverse harem just didn’t APPEAL to me. Like why don’t they fuck each other too?? Why just her?? My concern might come from my bisexuality, I’m sure. But how do all of them have sex with her but never touch each other?? Like u can’t no homo that. Especially when you’re all getting married and usually don’t bang unless you’re all together.
This was sold to me as “New Girl But They Fuck”, but honestly it’s only because there’s 3 dudes and they live in an apartment. The men don’t fit the men of New Girl. Which cues me to talk about the atrocity that are these characters.
Protagonist: Layla
She’s cool enough. I don’t have any major gripe with her, her learning to come to terms with her sexuality is interesting enough. Her only two character defining traits is being slut shamed in high school and selling underwear. But whatever, she’s fine.
Man #1: Josh
I want to put him first because I don’t have any major beef with him. He’s your stereotypical broody romcom love interest. Hes fine. Couldn’t really tell you any defining traits about him, though.
Man #2: Zack
He’s a lot of the catalyst of this harem situation. He’s like loud and outgoing and talkative and I absolutely hated him. If this were a situation where Layla had to choose, I would absolutely not be rooting for him. His traits were: ex-rugby player and had a fiancée who died. He was mostly just annoying and his commentary was often unnecessary.
Man #3: Luke
This man is a…felon. Technically not, I guess. But he was Layla’s teacher when she was 16 and while it’s like 10 years after that, I was still weirded out from it. At least he had a couple hundred pages of thinking about it, I guess ?? He’s the reason we get this horrendous line, from Zack to Luke:
”please tell me you didn't reject her because you think
teaching her how to read Holes a literal decade ago means you're like, morally forbidden to touch her knee, or whatever. You ain’t her teacher anymore.”
I hated him. Anywho. They were doing this for a podcast that they had, but the reaction to the podcast didn’t sell me. Maybe I’m not a podcast girly so it doesn’t appeal to me that much. But this definitely feels like it would be in a dark corner of podcasts that only asshole dudebros would find. Which made me laugh when Layla said she was gonna do a segments on periods.
Lastly, the last few lines of the last chapter talked about how she was making out with all of them one after the other in public and how she hated that she was getting weird looks. Like girlfriend what do u EXPECT