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A review by hnagarne
Spare by Prince Harry
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Harry's memoir is broken up into three parts: "out of the night that covers me", "bloody, but unbowed", and "captain of my soul." Part 1 dives into his childhood after losing his mother, the grief that was hard to process for anyone, let alone a kid, let alone the third in line kid to the British monarchy. Part 2 explored, mostly, his time in the military. And the final part, which was what most of us were probably here for, chronicled his relationship with Meghan and his eventual departure from Britain amidst an outpouring of racism, vitriol, and venom from the British press.
If there's anything we're supposed to take from this book, I think it's this:
The press took away his mother.
The press took away his ability to fight in a war that deeply moved him.
And now the press was coming for his wife.
Enough.
Spoilers below.
Admittedly I cared less for Part 2 (his time in the war). While I found his insights fascinating, and appreciated the (brief) moments where he mentioned the more problematic aspects of the War in Afghanistan, I overall didn't care much for these tales, and in general I don't really care for war stories or military propaganda. Still, Harry's desire to go to the war, and his reasons for doing so, were interesting. For one, he'd been deeply moved by the aftermath of 9/11/01, as I think a lot of people were at the time. He wanted to help. To not feel powerless in the face of devastating loss (perhaps as he did when he lost his mother). For another, it was much harder for the press to follow him there.
If there's one thing this memoir does, it's build upon the idea that Harry has detested the press since he was young, and that dislike for them has only grown as he's aged. Although the villains in this memoir could, at times, seem like his own family, I think Harry views the British media as the root of it all. Without them, maybe his family could hear him. Without them, maybe his family could see his side.
Throughout the book, Harry details how the British press is unrelenting, exploitative, greedy. They hounded Diana to her death. They made his deployment in Afghanistan untenable and unsafe for everyone involved. But more than that, they struck deals with insiders, traded stories... and his family let it happen. This is a family, after all, that relies on the good graces of the press. And there's a pecking order.
Harry is not shy to reveal that his father and Camilla have traded "bad" stories about him to lift their own images. And Charles and Camilla are not shy to admit to it (according to Harry). There even seemed to be a camaraderie between Harry and William in terms of when Camilla traded stories about William to improve her public image.
But his relationship with William is fraught. The Heir and the Spare. What surprised me is that the brothers have perhaps never been as close as the media portrays them to be. In school, William acted like he didn't exist. After he got married, he seemed to make less time for Harry. He seemed to rarely take his side in disagreements. As Heir, with more expectations, he also seemed jealous.
In one scene, William is mad at Harry because he got permission to keep his beard for his wedding. William, as Heir, was forced to shave his beard before his wedding. He didn't think this was fair. (Tough luck, Willy.) In another, William blows up at him for "stealing" Africa; that is, he was upset that Harry wanted to do aid work in Lesotho, since William viewed Africa (the whole continent, apparently) as "his." Honestly, there's some sort of colonization conversation to be had in there, and I'm not the person to have it, but, phew. This grown man really thinks he's the only white man in his family allowed to do aid work in the whole of Africa.
Anywho, this book is fascinating. Harry and Meghan have received a lot of criticism about stepping into TV/books/Archetypes after stepping away from the British media, but I'm not bothered. They thought silence would help and it's only made things worse. So if it doesn't matter <i>what</i> they do, they may as well tell their side and hope someone will listen.
All they want is peace.
Also, I'm sure security costs a shit ton.
If there's anything we're supposed to take from this book, I think it's this:
The press took away his mother.
The press took away his ability to fight in a war that deeply moved him.
And now the press was coming for his wife.
Enough.
Spoilers below.
Admittedly I cared less for Part 2 (his time in the war). While I found his insights fascinating, and appreciated the (brief) moments where he mentioned the more problematic aspects of the War in Afghanistan, I overall didn't care much for these tales, and in general I don't really care for war stories or military propaganda. Still, Harry's desire to go to the war, and his reasons for doing so, were interesting. For one, he'd been deeply moved by the aftermath of 9/11/01, as I think a lot of people were at the time. He wanted to help. To not feel powerless in the face of devastating loss (perhaps as he did when he lost his mother). For another, it was much harder for the press to follow him there.
If there's one thing this memoir does, it's build upon the idea that Harry has detested the press since he was young, and that dislike for them has only grown as he's aged. Although the villains in this memoir could, at times, seem like his own family, I think Harry views the British media as the root of it all. Without them, maybe his family could hear him. Without them, maybe his family could see his side.
Throughout the book, Harry details how the British press is unrelenting, exploitative, greedy. They hounded Diana to her death. They made his deployment in Afghanistan untenable and unsafe for everyone involved. But more than that, they struck deals with insiders, traded stories... and his family let it happen. This is a family, after all, that relies on the good graces of the press. And there's a pecking order.
Harry is not shy to reveal that his father and Camilla have traded "bad" stories about him to lift their own images. And Charles and Camilla are not shy to admit to it (according to Harry). There even seemed to be a camaraderie between Harry and William in terms of when Camilla traded stories about William to improve her public image.
But his relationship with William is fraught. The Heir and the Spare. What surprised me is that the brothers have perhaps never been as close as the media portrays them to be. In school, William acted like he didn't exist. After he got married, he seemed to make less time for Harry. He seemed to rarely take his side in disagreements. As Heir, with more expectations, he also seemed jealous.
In one scene, William is mad at Harry because he got permission to keep his beard for his wedding. William, as Heir, was forced to shave his beard before his wedding. He didn't think this was fair. (Tough luck, Willy.) In another, William blows up at him for "stealing" Africa; that is, he was upset that Harry wanted to do aid work in Lesotho, since William viewed Africa (the whole continent, apparently) as "his." Honestly, there's some sort of colonization conversation to be had in there, and I'm not the person to have it, but, phew. This grown man really thinks he's the only white man in his family allowed to do aid work in the whole of Africa.
Anywho, this book is fascinating. Harry and Meghan have received a lot of criticism about stepping into TV/books/Archetypes after stepping away from the British media, but I'm not bothered. They thought silence would help and it's only made things worse. So if it doesn't matter <i>what</i> they do, they may as well tell their side and hope someone will listen.
All they want is peace.
Also, I'm sure security costs a shit ton.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Violence, Drug use, Gaslighting, Grief, Car accident, Mental illness, Animal death, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, and War
Moderate: Torture
Minor: Colonisation, Pregnancy, and Classism