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acherontian 's review for:

The Monkey by Stephen King
0.25
dark

I notoriously hate king’s writing. I like his ideas and I love every film adaptation of his books, but his prose is truly so awful that I can never finish anything. I challenged myself to read these meager 40 pages, which ended up being so grueling: every few pages I became so incredibly annoyed that I just had to go and do something else.

“hate” is no longer a strong enough word to describe my disdain for king’s writing. I abhor it. I would rather stick my finger in a car cigarette lighter than read his work again. I would rather antagonize a succession of wasp nests and let them enact their revenge against me for twenty four hours. I’d rather take over for prometheus and sisyphus. I’d rather broadcast my ao3 username. I would rather say candyman’s name five times in a mirror and let him split me with his rusty hook from crotch to cranium than read even one more sentence from king. 

horrendous experience, although I would recommend it to my worst enemy.