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bookishmillennial 's review for:
Girls Who Play Dead
by Joelle Wellington
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Okay so this definitely dragged on in the middle only for a bit, and I think I only felt that way because I was ON MY KNEES BEGGING Mikky and Kyla to just TELL EACH OTHER WHAT THEY KNOW!
I also didn’t realize that the siblings wouldn’t be investigating Kyla’s best friend Erin’s murder *together* — they both conduct their own amateur sleuthing separately, with different knowledge, and sometimes at odds with one another.
It was such a fascinating way to paint a sibling relationship, and I have to give it to Joelle Wellington that she really made me scratch my head. In the beginning, Mikky mentions to Jason that he and Kyla are close and they’re not the siblings that media paints, always bickering and annoyed with one another. So…. I’d expected a closer relationship, but as you turn the pages, you see that their sibling ship has either evolved and Mikky totally missed it, or Mikky wasn’t fully self aware of their dynamic this entire time. I do think it’s the first one, as we are growing during adolescence and most of our relationships during that time are proximity ones, like friends we have at school or if we have a part time job or with family.
So, it makes sense that since Mikky moved to be with their mom once she was ready to have her kids back in her life, they a distance *would* grow. It’s a slow steady sadness that builds as you realize alongside Mikky that his sister and his relationship to her has indeed changed. There’s work to do there, and I think that’s often what becomes toxic about family, is that you assume they’ll always be there, so much of your issues just get swept under the rug.
All relationships ebb and flow though, so I loved that even though Kyla was indeed somewhat of a bully at their high school (where Mikky has now decided to stay to keep an eye on her), I still sympathized with where she was coming from. Her brother got to leave, and Kyla was left with their dad, the family business, and a new reality that didn’t include the daily proximity to her brother. That’s pretty traumatic on its own, let alone losing your best friend to murder.
Joelle Wellington also got the town down sooooo well. The way that the Cook company was intertwined in almost everyone’s lives in that small town (a population of about 6000 I believe) was eerie and of course did not bode well. When an entire town’s income and financial health becomes dependent upon one organization, that alone calls for an unpleasant reckoning. You’ll never convince me to feel bad for huge companies who prioritize profits over people.
I loved the way this mystery involving Erin’s job as a Cook influencer unraveled, with the elusive “Test Kitchens,” exclusive secrets, and more. I also appreciated the idea of someone dying who most people agreed was a cruel person, which makes for a better mystery of finding out who could no longer take a teenage girl who embodied hell on earth to most.
It pained me to read about Kyla confronting the fact that she has to rediscover who she is without Erin around. I found this so incredibly authentic to the teenage experience because again, most of your close friendships are due to proximity, and once you no longer have that, you have more space to figure out what you actually like, and who you actually are on your own as an individual. As a teenager, so much of your identity is tied up to the people around you, the clubs you join, the things you’re “good at”, and what your life looks like to others. We tie our identities to our friend groups, and Kyla was known as “Erin and Kyla, Duck and Goose” to everyone in their small town.
I don’t know about you, but even if I questioned if I really liked something, I likely just kept it moving as a teenager because I desperately wanted to fit in and be liked. Your prefrontal cortex is still developing and it’s such a universally confusing time!!!! But when you spend more time alone, you begin to listen to your body and your nervous system. It’s why moving out on your own is such a big deal, because once you have that distance from others, you have more autonomy and time to examine the type of life you would choose if it were exclusively up to you. It was sad that Kyla felt like an extension of Erin, but I was proud of her for even naming this & hopefully taking steps to proudly find herself moving forward.
I loved the subplot romances between Mikky, my goth emo sweetie pie, and Nasim, the Iranian Watson to his Holmes. Their banter and immediate exhaustion with each other was so entertaining and flowed so naturally 😈 Mikky’s new friend group was really fun to read about in general, especially as more secrets poured out.
Overall, this was yet another mysterious, frustrating, tender, and exciting YA thriller from Joelle Wellington. I highly recommend it to anyone who loved her past work and appreciates imperfect, messy main characters (Mikky & Kyla) who are trying their best (and often fumbling through it).
Rep: Mikky is Black & gay, Kyla is Black (&has sapphic undertones, like I feel like she was INLOVE with Erin but that’s just me), Rowan is nonbinary, Nasim is Iranian, the Graves family navigate mental health, I *think* depression and one character has a panic attack. Another goes to talk therapy.
I also didn’t realize that the siblings wouldn’t be investigating Kyla’s best friend Erin’s murder *together* — they both conduct their own amateur sleuthing separately, with different knowledge, and sometimes at odds with one another.
It was such a fascinating way to paint a sibling relationship, and I have to give it to Joelle Wellington that she really made me scratch my head. In the beginning, Mikky mentions to Jason that he and Kyla are close and they’re not the siblings that media paints, always bickering and annoyed with one another. So…. I’d expected a closer relationship, but as you turn the pages, you see that their sibling ship has either evolved and Mikky totally missed it, or Mikky wasn’t fully self aware of their dynamic this entire time. I do think it’s the first one, as we are growing during adolescence and most of our relationships during that time are proximity ones, like friends we have at school or if we have a part time job or with family.
So, it makes sense that since Mikky moved to be with their mom once she was ready to have her kids back in her life, they a distance *would* grow. It’s a slow steady sadness that builds as you realize alongside Mikky that his sister and his relationship to her has indeed changed. There’s work to do there, and I think that’s often what becomes toxic about family, is that you assume they’ll always be there, so much of your issues just get swept under the rug.
All relationships ebb and flow though, so I loved that even though Kyla was indeed somewhat of a bully at their high school (where Mikky has now decided to stay to keep an eye on her), I still sympathized with where she was coming from. Her brother got to leave, and Kyla was left with their dad, the family business, and a new reality that didn’t include the daily proximity to her brother. That’s pretty traumatic on its own, let alone losing your best friend to murder.
Joelle Wellington also got the town down sooooo well. The way that the Cook company was intertwined in almost everyone’s lives in that small town (a population of about 6000 I believe) was eerie and of course did not bode well. When an entire town’s income and financial health becomes dependent upon one organization, that alone calls for an unpleasant reckoning. You’ll never convince me to feel bad for huge companies who prioritize profits over people.
I loved the way this mystery involving Erin’s job as a Cook influencer unraveled, with the elusive “Test Kitchens,” exclusive secrets, and more. I also appreciated the idea of someone dying who most people agreed was a cruel person, which makes for a better mystery of finding out who could no longer take a teenage girl who embodied hell on earth to most.
It pained me to read about Kyla confronting the fact that she has to rediscover who she is without Erin around. I found this so incredibly authentic to the teenage experience because again, most of your close friendships are due to proximity, and once you no longer have that, you have more space to figure out what you actually like, and who you actually are on your own as an individual. As a teenager, so much of your identity is tied up to the people around you, the clubs you join, the things you’re “good at”, and what your life looks like to others. We tie our identities to our friend groups, and Kyla was known as “Erin and Kyla, Duck and Goose” to everyone in their small town.
I don’t know about you, but even if I questioned if I really liked something, I likely just kept it moving as a teenager because I desperately wanted to fit in and be liked. Your prefrontal cortex is still developing and it’s such a universally confusing time!!!! But when you spend more time alone, you begin to listen to your body and your nervous system. It’s why moving out on your own is such a big deal, because once you have that distance from others, you have more autonomy and time to examine the type of life you would choose if it were exclusively up to you. It was sad that Kyla felt like an extension of Erin, but I was proud of her for even naming this & hopefully taking steps to proudly find herself moving forward.
I loved the subplot romances between Mikky, my goth emo sweetie pie, and Nasim, the Iranian Watson to his Holmes. Their banter and immediate exhaustion with each other was so entertaining and flowed so naturally 😈 Mikky’s new friend group was really fun to read about in general, especially as more secrets poured out.
Overall, this was yet another mysterious, frustrating, tender, and exciting YA thriller from Joelle Wellington. I highly recommend it to anyone who loved her past work and appreciates imperfect, messy main characters (Mikky & Kyla) who are trying their best (and often fumbling through it).
Rep: Mikky is Black & gay, Kyla is Black (&has sapphic undertones, like I feel like she was INLOVE with Erin but that’s just me), Rowan is nonbinary, Nasim is Iranian, the Graves family navigate mental health, I *think* depression and one character has a panic attack. Another goes to talk therapy.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Grief, Murder, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail, Classism
Minor: Homophobia, Transphobia