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A review by xwritingstoriesx
Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
emotional
informative
reflective
slow-paced
3.75
3.75 stars.
I have to start this review by acknowledging that the author is a trans-exclusionary radical feminist. I hadn't known this prior to purchasing and reading his work but I'm not happy with this information whatsoever. You cannot call yourself a feminist without intersectionality.
Onto the book itself, I found myself growing frustrated by the consistent message about male abuse and the denial of such happenings. If you are a male abuse victim, you will not feel seen or heard in this book, but rather you will find judgement, scorn and ridicule. In Chapter four, Bancroft writes, "Be particularly careful with a man who claims to have been a victim of physical violence by a previous female partner."
While I do understand that this has happened enough for it to be mentioned here, I don't think discrediting all claims against a female partner is the right path forward. In Chapter 2, he also writes about the embarrassment a man must feel from being abused by a woman. Obviously, this is a really dangerous sentiment. I wanted to give this man the benefit of the doubt as it was written twenty years ago but with the revelation of transphobia, I can't see him changing.
Moreover, I found that the book was a bit too long in my opinion and could have forgone the recap sections. I would've been fine with a 200 page book rather than 400 pages of anecdotal evidence mixed in with facts and off-putting opinions.
With regards to the positive aspects of this book, I did see myself in the examples given and greatly appreciated that they mentioned the court system and its prejudice towards abuse victims. The examples of real life experiences were really insightful and allowed you to draw comparison to your own experiences. Despite all this, I have to rate the book a 3.75 stars, as it didn't quite hit the mark for me.
I have to start this review by acknowledging that the author is a trans-exclusionary radical feminist. I hadn't known this prior to purchasing and reading his work but I'm not happy with this information whatsoever. You cannot call yourself a feminist without intersectionality.
Onto the book itself, I found myself growing frustrated by the consistent message about male abuse and the denial of such happenings. If you are a male abuse victim, you will not feel seen or heard in this book, but rather you will find judgement, scorn and ridicule. In Chapter four, Bancroft writes, "Be particularly careful with a man who claims to have been a victim of physical violence by a previous female partner."
While I do understand that this has happened enough for it to be mentioned here, I don't think discrediting all claims against a female partner is the right path forward. In Chapter 2, he also writes about the embarrassment a man must feel from being abused by a woman. Obviously, this is a really dangerous sentiment. I wanted to give this man the benefit of the doubt as it was written twenty years ago but with the revelation of transphobia, I can't see him changing.
Moreover, I found that the book was a bit too long in my opinion and could have forgone the recap sections. I would've been fine with a 200 page book rather than 400 pages of anecdotal evidence mixed in with facts and off-putting opinions.
With regards to the positive aspects of this book, I did see myself in the examples given and greatly appreciated that they mentioned the court system and its prejudice towards abuse victims. The examples of real life experiences were really insightful and allowed you to draw comparison to your own experiences. Despite all this, I have to rate the book a 3.75 stars, as it didn't quite hit the mark for me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting, Physical abuse, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Cursing