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A review by jenn_sveda
Thanks for Waiting: The Joy (& Weirdness) of Being a Late Bloomer by Doree Shafrir
3.0
As someone who has been a late bloomer in just about every aspect of life, except academically, I really related to the first part of this book. Reading about Shafrir's fears that she had somehow "missed the memo" on how to live her life - which everyone around her seemed to be doing without issue - really resonated with me. However, I was disappointed that the book didn't go deeper. Shafrir often remarked that it was silly to be feeling inferior for having different experiences at different stages of life, but beyond that, the concept of being a "late bloomer" seemed underdeveloped. The last third or so of the book was dedicated almost exclusively to Shafrir's struggles with IVF, which isn't exclusive to geriatric pregnancies and is a topic in which I have no interest. There's something about a couple putting themselves into massive debt and invasive hormone therapy so they can have a "real" child (as opposed to adopted one of the thousands of children in the system) that really doesn't inspire much sympathy in me.
Shafrir also seemed to want to make some kind of grand feminist statement, which she did by disparaging other women in her life and making a podcast about skincare. I'm not entirely sure why she views herself as some kind of iconoclast, but her randomly inserted "because of the patriarchy!" comments seemed a little disconnected from the overall narrative of feeling behind in life. While it's true that our culture's patriarchal structure is what shapes the expectations that we should be hitting certain milestones (especially when it comes to romance, sex, and motherhood) at certain times, Shafrir rarely connected these ideas, instead complaining about the patriarchy in regards to its impact on the professional world moreso than on the personal world.
Overall, I found the first two thirds of this book reassuring - it's not just me that's still single well into my twenties, even if many of my friends and peers have gotten married by this point! - but the focus on the IVF process at the end of the book ultimately lost my interest and left me feeling like there wasn't a satisfying conclusion to the book. It doesn't feel like Shafrir ever fully accepted that her life didn't follow the path laid out by society's expectations; rather, she still did everything she could to conform to those expectations as quickly as possible.
Shafrir also seemed to want to make some kind of grand feminist statement, which she did by disparaging other women in her life and making a podcast about skincare. I'm not entirely sure why she views herself as some kind of iconoclast, but her randomly inserted "because of the patriarchy!" comments seemed a little disconnected from the overall narrative of feeling behind in life. While it's true that our culture's patriarchal structure is what shapes the expectations that we should be hitting certain milestones (especially when it comes to romance, sex, and motherhood) at certain times, Shafrir rarely connected these ideas, instead complaining about the patriarchy in regards to its impact on the professional world moreso than on the personal world.
Overall, I found the first two thirds of this book reassuring - it's not just me that's still single well into my twenties, even if many of my friends and peers have gotten married by this point! - but the focus on the IVF process at the end of the book ultimately lost my interest and left me feeling like there wasn't a satisfying conclusion to the book. It doesn't feel like Shafrir ever fully accepted that her life didn't follow the path laid out by society's expectations; rather, she still did everything she could to conform to those expectations as quickly as possible.