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A review by veganemelda
A Family by Any Other Name: Exploring Queer Relationships by Sara Graefe, Arleen Paré, Sebastian Charge, Nancy Newcomb, Bruce Gillespie, Ellen Russell, Maya Saibil, S. Bear Bergman, Jeffrey Ricker, Betty Jane Hegerat, Dorianne Emmerton, Jean Copeland, Danny Glenwright, Max Mosher, 'Nathan Burgoine, Rosemary Rowe, Kate Barker, Keph Senett, Paul Aguirre-Livingston, Noreen Fagan, Jason Dale, Dale Lee Kwong
3.0
I love collections like this. I am a big fan of memoirs, whether in essays or full book forms. But, for me, few of these essays stood out, comforting to read as they were. I appreciated the additions of families without children (the most common denominator when discussing the word "family") or marriage (legal or not). In stories with interracial relationships (romantic or platonic), I appreciated the calling out of/mention of racism. There could have been more of that.
Two essays that stood out the most included the last one, "Hiddur Mitzvah" (it's always the last ones you remember best in a collection, right?) and "I, Didi" which is probably the one I most needed to hear: about a not-casual yet not-serious-in-the-traditional couple where one of them decides to get pregnant. Polyamorous, amorphous, implied-singlehood mothering is something I am most likely looking at in the future, and it's something I want to read much, much more about.
One essay that didn't quite leave a bad taste in my mouth, yet made me yearn to read more was the essay of the formerly butch-identified woman who became much more "feminine" after her pregnancies. I'd like to read more essays about people playing with the gender binary, to be honest, not those who fall more into it after experiencing traditional gendered events. Maybe it was much more of a comment of when she was coming into her own, the gender and sexuality spectrum that (wasn't) there. Maybe, despite being femme and cisgendered but queer, I'm just aware of that (somewhat) privilege and want to hear more peoples' stories where I don't see bits of myself reflected.
Two essays that stood out the most included the last one, "Hiddur Mitzvah" (it's always the last ones you remember best in a collection, right?) and "I, Didi" which is probably the one I most needed to hear: about a not-casual yet not-serious-in-the-traditional couple where one of them decides to get pregnant. Polyamorous, amorphous, implied-singlehood mothering is something I am most likely looking at in the future, and it's something I want to read much, much more about.
One essay that didn't quite leave a bad taste in my mouth, yet made me yearn to read more was the essay of the formerly butch-identified woman who became much more "feminine" after her pregnancies. I'd like to read more essays about people playing with the gender binary, to be honest, not those who fall more into it after experiencing traditional gendered events. Maybe it was much more of a comment of when she was coming into her own, the gender and sexuality spectrum that (wasn't) there. Maybe, despite being femme and cisgendered but queer, I'm just aware of that (somewhat) privilege and want to hear more peoples' stories where I don't see bits of myself reflected.