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katlovestea 's review for:
I Am the Swarm
by Hayley Chewins
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
N/A
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
This book could have been just a giant magical metaphor, but instead it takes the magic in it as part of the world, it can't be a metaphor for mental health, or family dysfunction because those already things exist in this story. The magic is additive in nature and I really like that. I have never been a fan of books that promise me magic but then it's only a dream or a metaphor or a background feature.
I love the complexity of people in this book. Nell has a mother who is literally a different age from moment to moment and this really captures that feeling of having to be such a grown up for the adults around you even when you are a kid and the confusing nature of having a parent who is sometimes exactly what you need and other times doesn't even know you exist. The nature of being the child who's problems are not as visible as your siblings and feeling like you are obviously not suffering like they are so you are fine, you don't need help, push all that anger down because its not ok for you to be angry when everyone else has it so much worse.
I love the way Nell feels like a whole person in this, not a poor perfect sufferer, but a person that can treat others badly to cope with her struggles. The way she calls her boyfriend 'the boy' through most of the book to distance herself from excepting him as a person she should treat as such is so good. She feels like a real teenager, there is a part in here where she is impressed with a young man's parallel parking and it felt so real for a fifteen year old to be like damn, I wish I could drive a car so good.
I love all of the insects in this book and the way they represent Nell's emotions especially the wasps.
Dragonflies are one of my favorite insects so I was really pleased that they are the bug we end on!
I love the complexity of people in this book. Nell has a mother who is literally a different age from moment to moment and this really captures that feeling of having to be such a grown up for the adults around you even when you are a kid and the confusing nature of having a parent who is sometimes exactly what you need and other times doesn't even know you exist. The nature of being the child who's problems are not as visible as your siblings and feeling like you are obviously not suffering like they are so you are fine, you don't need help, push all that anger down because its not ok for you to be angry when everyone else has it so much worse.
I love the way Nell feels like a whole person in this, not a poor perfect sufferer, but a person that can treat others badly to cope with her struggles. The way she calls her boyfriend 'the boy' through most of the book to distance herself from excepting him as a person she should treat as such is so good. She feels like a real teenager, there is a part in here where she is impressed with a young man's parallel parking and it felt so real for a fifteen year old to be like damn, I wish I could drive a car so good.
I love all of the insects in this book and the way they represent Nell's emotions especially the wasps.
Dragonflies are one of my favorite insects so I was really pleased that they are the bug we end on!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Self harm, Blood
Moderate: Eating disorder, Sexual harassment