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A review by lewis999
Black Sheep by Brynne Weaver, Alexa Harlowe
0.25
I'm impressed at how much this book was literally just a self insert "ooo I'm a sexy serial killer" fanfic. Genuinely. If you want to read about BDSM sex scenes and murder then this is the book for you. Actually couldn't stop reading due to how much of a train wreck this was. The main characters Bria and Eli do not act like normal, rational human beings. At ALL. The majority of this book was literally just porn, Bria and Eli cannot keep themselves together.
A list of 10 flaws:
1. the main character Bria is the thinnest, smartest, hottest, best girl ever and even her flaw (she is a serial killer & severely mentally ill) ends up being "sexy"
2. Eli is a fucking idiot: he doesn't bother to do his job which is HELP THIS GIRL WITH HER THESIS and instead literally just pretends to listen (although atleast Bria is annoyed by that)
3. they just fuck???? all the time???? everywhere?????
4. she has access to copious amounts of chemicals??? enough to dissolve bodies???? AND YET she's not on any FBI watch lists...????
5. "it's just the writers' power fantasy" - my boyfriend
6. it's said she works out for 2 hours a day EVERY DAY but we like barely ever hear about that? she goes swimming and running but like. that's not daily so
7. the following:
"She slides onto a chair several tables away, facing me but angled toward the window, and I catch myself before I audibly moan."
SORRY WHAT. This, for context, IS THE FIRST MEETING. THEY HAVE NOT MET BEFORE. HE IS OGLING ANG MOANING OVER HER. IN A COFFEE SHOP. JESUS CHRIST.
8. every time Bria is described (she's every good characteristic ever)
9. eli suddenly like. turns wild bad boy and is like no don't hurt my gf ill beat you up??????? like he just goes for it????? crazy
10. the epilogue - he "gives" her a man to kill as a wedding present. he is okay with her killing??? he literally goes it's okay babe, you're just a little quirky... have this kill kit and go at 'em hahahaha WHAT
bonus: 11. THEY GET MARRIED IN UNDER A YEAR
Overall, can't believe I got my boyfriend to spend £10 on a shitty sex book. Embarrassed.
A list of 10 flaws:
1. the main character Bria is the thinnest, smartest, hottest, best girl ever and even her flaw (she is a serial killer & severely mentally ill) ends up being "sexy"
2. Eli is a fucking idiot: he doesn't bother to do his job which is HELP THIS GIRL WITH HER THESIS and instead literally just pretends to listen (although atleast Bria is annoyed by that)
3. they just fuck???? all the time???? everywhere?????
4. she has access to copious amounts of chemicals??? enough to dissolve bodies???? AND YET she's not on any FBI watch lists...????
5. "it's just the writers' power fantasy" - my boyfriend
6. it's said she works out for 2 hours a day EVERY DAY but we like barely ever hear about that? she goes swimming and running but like. that's not daily so
7. the following:
"She slides onto a chair several tables away, facing me but angled toward the window, and I catch myself before I audibly moan."
SORRY WHAT. This, for context, IS THE FIRST MEETING. THEY HAVE NOT MET BEFORE. HE IS OGLING ANG MOANING OVER HER. IN A COFFEE SHOP. JESUS CHRIST.
8. every time Bria is described (she's every good characteristic ever)
9. eli suddenly like. turns wild bad boy and is like no don't hurt my gf ill beat you up??????? like he just goes for it????? crazy
10. the epilogue - he "gives" her a man to kill as a wedding present. he is okay with her killing??? he literally goes it's okay babe, you're just a little quirky... have this kill kit and go at 'em hahahaha WHAT
bonus: 11. THEY GET MARRIED IN UNDER A YEAR
Overall, can't believe I got my boyfriend to spend £10 on a shitty sex book. Embarrassed.