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adayla 's review for:
Hannah's Children: The Women Quietly Defying the Birth Dearth
by Catherine Pakaluk
Two days ago, after I walked across the store parking lot with my gaggle of small children, an elderly woman walked up to me as the kids climbed into the van.
"Your kids remind me of mine and how I was"-- she gestures to my 5 kids all about two years apart in age and my pregnant belly-- "I have 10." Her smile glowed.
It was such an uncommon experience. When I'm approached in public, it's 99% of the time for someone to tell me, "wow! You're busy!" Or "you have your hands full!"
This comment of hers was so unexpected that I am unsure if I sounded genuine or not, but I truly meant it when I replied, "Really? That is very nice."
She walked away, smiling, and she left me imagining what she was like years ago, when her kids were like mine and she was like me.
I have mixed thoughts about this book. I'm rounding up to 4 stars but I would like to choose somewhere between 3 and 4.. I like the ideas, the thoughts, and variety of women interviewed. It felt like women who were right there with me at many times. I was told this book would be validating and encouraging but I'm not sure I would use those specific words to describe it myself.
There were some interesting statistics shared and analysis of some data. But not near as much as I hoped. The data felt repetitive when I wanted to hear something more. Now for the interviews, that felt like something else entirely. That was not presented like data or facts (which I do think is part of the point).
Something that bothered me was that the interviews didn't seem uniform. It felt like each woman was asked: can you tell me the story of your motherhood? And then we hear the chatting between that mother and the interviewer that feels like you are reading nice Facebook comments in a nice, private, moms' Facebook group of women trying to encourage each other. Which is fine but there is something about the interview format that I was really not fond of in a book.
I had started this as an ebook and did not like the format and switched to audio. I realized what my problem was more clearly by listening to the audio. These women are very modern, American sounding women and probably sound much like I would in the same interview situation. There are so many "like"s and "you know"s and the upward inflection at the end of most dialogue? Like, you know? So, yeah. The audio narrator spoke aloud what I had been hearing in my head and the upwards talking with all vocal fillers left in was hard to keep listening to. The breaking off sentences, the unfinished thoughts. I don't know if I would have preferred it "cleaned up" or not. It was meant to sound more authentic and I will agree that that was probably achieved. I still didn't like it though.
I don't mean to sound so picky but it was something that was very hard to look passed.
Some other thoughts I couldn't help thinking:
I wish I could've heard from more experienced moms farther down the line. I felt the community aspect with these women but would've enjoyed more additional years of experience.
I would've liked to see the author play the devil's advocate more often, for a more full look at things. I think that would've made the discussion more interesting and brought more to the table. And I'm saying this as someone who loves large families.
This is a good conversation starter and did give me some new thoughts. I think at the end of the day, we all still tend to inflate ourselves and are trying to feel validated and important. This book is no exception. (Probably a big reason why I picked it up in the first place.) But I think we all need to learn to be okay with the fact that God sees us and that is enough.
But sometimes, when a woman notices you, comes up to you, and talks about your shared experience, that connection is just something special and sweet.
"Your kids remind me of mine and how I was"-- she gestures to my 5 kids all about two years apart in age and my pregnant belly-- "I have 10." Her smile glowed.
It was such an uncommon experience. When I'm approached in public, it's 99% of the time for someone to tell me, "wow! You're busy!" Or "you have your hands full!"
This comment of hers was so unexpected that I am unsure if I sounded genuine or not, but I truly meant it when I replied, "Really? That is very nice."
She walked away, smiling, and she left me imagining what she was like years ago, when her kids were like mine and she was like me.
I have mixed thoughts about this book. I'm rounding up to 4 stars but I would like to choose somewhere between 3 and 4.. I like the ideas, the thoughts, and variety of women interviewed. It felt like women who were right there with me at many times. I was told this book would be validating and encouraging but I'm not sure I would use those specific words to describe it myself.
There were some interesting statistics shared and analysis of some data. But not near as much as I hoped. The data felt repetitive when I wanted to hear something more. Now for the interviews, that felt like something else entirely. That was not presented like data or facts (which I do think is part of the point).
Something that bothered me was that the interviews didn't seem uniform. It felt like each woman was asked: can you tell me the story of your motherhood? And then we hear the chatting between that mother and the interviewer that feels like you are reading nice Facebook comments in a nice, private, moms' Facebook group of women trying to encourage each other. Which is fine but there is something about the interview format that I was really not fond of in a book.
I had started this as an ebook and did not like the format and switched to audio. I realized what my problem was more clearly by listening to the audio. These women are very modern, American sounding women and probably sound much like I would in the same interview situation. There are so many "like"s and "you know"s and the upward inflection at the end of most dialogue? Like, you know? So, yeah. The audio narrator spoke aloud what I had been hearing in my head and the upwards talking with all vocal fillers left in was hard to keep listening to. The breaking off sentences, the unfinished thoughts. I don't know if I would have preferred it "cleaned up" or not. It was meant to sound more authentic and I will agree that that was probably achieved. I still didn't like it though.
I don't mean to sound so picky but it was something that was very hard to look passed.
Some other thoughts I couldn't help thinking:
I wish I could've heard from more experienced moms farther down the line. I felt the community aspect with these women but would've enjoyed more additional years of experience.
I would've liked to see the author play the devil's advocate more often, for a more full look at things. I think that would've made the discussion more interesting and brought more to the table. And I'm saying this as someone who loves large families.
This is a good conversation starter and did give me some new thoughts. I think at the end of the day, we all still tend to inflate ourselves and are trying to feel validated and important. This book is no exception. (Probably a big reason why I picked it up in the first place.) But I think we all need to learn to be okay with the fact that God sees us and that is enough.
But sometimes, when a woman notices you, comes up to you, and talks about your shared experience, that connection is just something special and sweet.