Scan barcode
A review by pinkblingd
Pageboy by Elliot Page
emotional
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
I picked up this audiobook to hear Elliot's story behind the scenes of the famous movies/shows and his journey as a transperson. I wasn't expecting the intimate journey shared in this book — from a childhood spent assuming herself to the be the problem, the horrors of being a child/young adult in Hollywood, being a closetted queer person living in the public eye, and the long journey of knowing for sure he is trans. (Using the pronouns as Elliot did through the timeline). Elliot has detailed his emotions and mental journey so articulately, and because I listened to the audiobook version narrated by himself, I feel like I got a personal story of who he is and what made him.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
A passage that I played thrice because it's so beautiful (and I hope I won't get into trouble for sharing such large text):
"If a part of you is always separate, if existing in your body feels unbearable, love is an irresistible escape. You transcend a sensation so indescribable that philosophers, scientists, and writers can't seem to agree on what the fuck it even is. If it even is. I often wondered if I have even experienced deep love. I feel as though I have. But is it real if you were never there? When you have numbed yourself to the truth. Love was unwittingly an emotional disguise and my relationship to it another muscle to be transformed. I don't wanna disappear. I want to exist in my body with these new possibilities. Possibilities. Perhaps that is one of the main components of life lost to lack of representation. Options erased from the imagination. Narratives indoctrinated that we spend an eternity attempting to break. The unraveling is painful but it leads you to you."
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
A passage that I played thrice because it's so beautiful (and I hope I won't get into trouble for sharing such large text):
"If a part of you is always separate, if existing in your body feels unbearable, love is an irresistible escape. You transcend a sensation so indescribable that philosophers, scientists, and writers can't seem to agree on what the fuck it even is. If it even is. I often wondered if I have even experienced deep love. I feel as though I have. But is it real if you were never there? When you have numbed yourself to the truth. Love was unwittingly an emotional disguise and my relationship to it another muscle to be transformed. I don't wanna disappear. I want to exist in my body with these new possibilities. Possibilities. Perhaps that is one of the main components of life lost to lack of representation. Options erased from the imagination. Narratives indoctrinated that we spend an eternity attempting to break. The unraveling is painful but it leads you to you."