A review by marygg3
Hooked by Emily McIntire

dark tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.5

Well, it didn't feel like a complete waste of my time, but it pretty much was.

I mean, the characters weren't as annoying as the ones I've read in other dark romances, but they weren't particularly not annoying either.

The smut was okay, kinda meh. Quite rich in its kinks though, which I appreciated.

Look, I didn't expect good writing or an engaging plot or anything, but some of the things I read were just downright ridiculous.

The whole insta-lust turned insta-love didn't help either.

I kinda saw the plot twists coming, but it's mostly that Hook was a complete moron. I mean,
Starkey literally shot your witness "by accident" right before he told you the name of your traitor, and you somehow believe him and let it slide?
Oh, let's not forget how it was super obvious that
Smee was hiding something when he unlocked the door, let Wendy out and then proceded to point out how he noticed you cared so much about her.
Or my favorite,
Ru turns up dead, horrifically killed, and you suspect the most obviously innocent person the moment you hear there was a woman involved? Like, Peter literally had a bitchy assistant doing his bidding and you immediately discarded her and went straight on to kidnapping your girlfriend to blackmail her father?
Who didn't even care about her, might I add. I mean, it was so ridiculous that you literally only had to watch them interact for like 3.2 seconds to know they weren't working together and she hadn't betrayed you. She constantly embodies the whole concept of clueless to perfection and that's who you choose to suspect?

And the end. Talk about a rush. Oh my God, don't even get me started. Wendy grows some balls and
kills her father.
And the next thing you know everything magically worked out because, through the power of love and sheer will, Hook managed to not
bleed to death, get Wendy and himself outside of the cave, untie the twins, get home and survive a clandestine patch-up work involving 48 stitches?
And a week later he's up and running, fingering Wendy after the funeral like nothing could be better. Oh, and she was
pregnant at the time! So, later, you have a 23-year-old wife carrying your second child and living the life with her brother (who is also yours) and your children because killing your father and having your life completely upended is not traumatizing at all.
Like, if you're writing a dark romance, why do you need to make such a perfect little rosy ending? She even made Wendy and Maria be best friends after it all? No thanks, that bitch can rot in hell for all I care.

And now I'm rambling but my point is, I knew I would need to turn off my brain to enjoy this, but the level of disconnection from reality this book demanded would've had to have me be brain dead.

I read some other reviews that summarized the feelings this book enticed in me perfectly and I'm just going to quote them here because the things these talented reviewers wrote were chef's kiss: 
It's just humiliating, it feels like child's play. It feels like watching a cartoon villain trying to be evil but unable to because it's actually streaming on Disney + and they have to keep it PG. [...]
[...]Just another fantastic tale being wasted on a badly written mafia romance with a stupid FMC and an underwhelming male character who thinks "running strip clubs, having a lot of money and threatening people, while simultaneously having a dark past" is the same as being a dark character.

Oh! Or this little nugget:
This book would be better if all the characters brutally died in shark infested waters…

And:
The second half of the story got cheesy, and eyeroll-y and stupid. And the stupidity would not end. And I’m too tired and pissed to list the stupid.

And my favorite:
God blessed me with eyes and I abused them.

Anyway, this book did gift us with the quote:
“You want to watch the world burn?"

"Let me guess, you'll set it on fire?" I ask.

He chuckles, the sound vibrating through me settling into my bones.

"No, darling. I'll hand you the match, and stand at your back, watching you become queen of the ashes.”

Which is one of The Greats in Booktok, so at least now I know which mediocre book it came from.

Suffice to say, I'm not reading anything else from this author, thank you very much.
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