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A review by sylvilel
The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher
1.0
Melissa aka «Mouse» (which stems from nothing, btw, she’s just called Mouse, no reason) is tasked with cleaning out her departed grandmother’s house. Her grandmother(an evil old hag by the descriptions of anyone who knew her) was - luckily for Mouse - a hoarder.
While endeavouring this impossible task, Mouse comes across “The Green Book” - an old manuscript that her long departed step-grandfather left behind, which he talks about in his own journal.
From here, Mouse is led on a merry chase to try and solve the mystery of Anna, the girl from The Green Book. Soon, she’s ensnared in a nightmarish mystery of a secret world and it’s gruesome people.
All I’m left with at the end of this, is a big fat MEH. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what I’m supposed to take away from this story.
The plot whizzles in very which direction.
The protagonist is a “quirky for the sake of quirk”-kinda gal, who constantly rambles about how she would edit one of her clients texts or - gods spare me - how quirky dog owners can be.
THE AMOUNT OF TIMES you get the sentence: “I’m a dog owner. We’re like that.” Or: “Being a dog owner -“
Good gawds.
Anywho, we’re no done yet:
We have pages upon pages telling us tidbits that never brings the story forward.
We have an old journal telling us about an old manuscript telling us about a journal telling us about I don’t even know anymore.
We have SERIOUSLY morbid fixation on equally morbid pregnancy scenarios.
Did I mention when she hugged the rock and got pregnant? No? Well maybe there’s a reason for that.
So I’m sitting here, getting more bored by the second, and thinking: “Maybe there’s a METAPHORIC take to be had here.”
So I look for metaphors. I YEARN for metaphors. ANYTHING to explain away the metaphorical plane crash in letter-form I am currently witnessing.
But alas: No such luck.
And then some random shit happens, plot-wise promises are given and never fulfilled, they burn down the house, and all I am left with is: How the actual hell did this get nominated for the Goodreads Choice Awards?
It tried to be funny, and at least managed that now and then, but that’s just about the only good thing I have to say about it. Otherwise - *shudder*
While endeavouring this impossible task, Mouse comes across “The Green Book” - an old manuscript that her long departed step-grandfather left behind, which he talks about in his own journal.
From here, Mouse is led on a merry chase to try and solve the mystery of Anna, the girl from The Green Book. Soon, she’s ensnared in a nightmarish mystery of a secret world and it’s gruesome people.
All I’m left with at the end of this, is a big fat MEH. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what I’m supposed to take away from this story.
The plot whizzles in very which direction.
The protagonist is a “quirky for the sake of quirk”-kinda gal, who constantly rambles about how she would edit one of her clients texts or - gods spare me - how quirky dog owners can be.
THE AMOUNT OF TIMES you get the sentence: “I’m a dog owner. We’re like that.” Or: “Being a dog owner -“
Good gawds.
Anywho, we’re no done yet:
We have pages upon pages telling us tidbits that never brings the story forward.
We have an old journal telling us about an old manuscript telling us about a journal telling us about I don’t even know anymore.
We have SERIOUSLY morbid fixation on equally morbid pregnancy scenarios.
Did I mention when she hugged the rock and got pregnant? No? Well maybe there’s a reason for that.
So I’m sitting here, getting more bored by the second, and thinking: “Maybe there’s a METAPHORIC take to be had here.”
So I look for metaphors. I YEARN for metaphors. ANYTHING to explain away the metaphorical plane crash in letter-form I am currently witnessing.
But alas: No such luck.
And then some random shit happens, plot-wise promises are given and never fulfilled, they burn down the house, and all I am left with is: How the actual hell did this get nominated for the Goodreads Choice Awards?
It tried to be funny, and at least managed that now and then, but that’s just about the only good thing I have to say about it. Otherwise - *shudder*