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Ulysses by James Joyce
3.0

Obviously this is one of the seminal texts of modern-postmodern literature, so I feel like I have to respect it, especially since it did influence me hugely as a reader and writer. However I would hold in contempt any book about the human condition, the internal experience of men— where they just think about fucking and eating and defecating? It takes too long (no novel needs to be more than 400 pages) to reach a conclusion that ostensibly foils the very male main body, and yet, all Molly thinks about is fucking and eating and defecating, too.

There are parts that lean way too far into the opacity and obscurity of the text. There's that famous quote by Joyce: "I've put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant, and that's the only way of insuring one's immortality." This is not a good thing. He was a brilliant enough writer that he could have written a novel that is both famous for centuries AND genuinely enjoyable— but Ulysses is not that