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A review by willoughbyreads
How to Break Up with Your Phone by Catherine Price
5.0
"This is your life--what do you want to pay attention to?" - Catherine Price
I knew in the early pages of this one that it would become an all-time favorite read and that I would be hanging on to this one when I finished it. I used more highlighter than any other book in recent memory.
I loved Catherine Price's "Open Letter to My Phone" to begin the book. Here are some excerpts from that masterpiece:
"Dear Phone,
I still remember the first time we met. You were an expensive new gadget available only through AT&T. I was a person who could recite her best friends' phone numbers from memory... Then I held you in my hand, and things started moving fast. It wasn't long before we were doing everything together: taking walks, having lunch with friends, going on vacations. At first it seemed strange that you wanted to come with me to the bathroom, but today it's just another formerly private moment for us to share... I can't count the times we've gone to bed together and I've had to pinch myself to see if I'm dreaming, and believe me, I want to be dreaming, because ever since we met, something seems to be messing with my sleep... and that's why it's so hard for me to tell you that we need to break up."
That may be the best opening to any non-fiction book I've ever read. I loved the humor and the transparency. There are several things in this Open Letter that many readers will identify with. I was hooked before Chapter 1 started.
Price doesn't hate smartphones. But she has realized that they are valued in our advanced society much more highly than they ought to be. As she shares in the book's introduction, "Smartphones are amazing tools. But something about smartphones also makes us act like tools." The statistics she shares are as frightening as they are astonishing. Did you know that Americans between the ages of 18 and 24 check their phones an average of 82 times per day? And did you know that Americans of any age spend an average of 4 hours per day on their phones? Studies show that about half of us even check our phones in the middle of the night, and nearly 1 of 10 Americans admit to checking their phone during sex!
The message is that we're mentally and emotionally checked-out of our relationships on a very consistent basis.
And it's become the norm. Not being "where your feet are" is the hallmark of our technologically advanced society. Imagine what it must be like for today's teenagers, who can't even envision a life without a smartphone (Price has some chilling information about that generation as well).
Some of us have convinced ourselves that we check our phones as an escape or as a relief from anxiety, but have you ever checked your phone late at night only to find a stressful email that costs you a good night's sleep? Something that easily could have waited until the morning?
And it's costing us more than just a good night's sleep. Price cites that "multiple studies have associated the heavy use of smartphones (especially when used with social media) with negative effects on neuroticism, self-esteem, impulsivity, empathy, self-identity, and self-image, as well as with sleep problems, anxiety, stress, and depression," and she goes on to say that "smartphones are causing otherwise mentally healthy people to show signs of psychiatric problems such as narcissism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and attention deficity hyperactivity disorder."
That's not a great escape.
Yet smartphones are not actually designed to help us escape from anything. In fact, smartphone designers are aware of our natural desire for affirmation, and they have created most apps with this trait in mind: "Whether it's ratings on Uber or 'likes' on social media, many of today's most popular apps actively encourage users to judge one another... and even though we know that we're curating our own feeds to make our lives look as exciting and fun as possible, we forget that everyone else is doing the same thing... we are deliberately choosing to relive the worst parts of middle school."
And we're not just casually participating in that exercise. A New York Times study revealed that "Facebook users spend a collective 39,757 years' worth of attention on the site every single day. It's attention that we didn't spend on our families, or our friends, or ourselves. And just like the time, once we've spent attention, we can never get it back." With social media in mind, one researcher explained why Facebook is free: "Advertisers pay for Facebook. You get to use it for free because your eyeballs are what's being sold there."
Not only is this not a feel-good escape, but "numerous studies suggest that the more we use social media, the less happy we will be." Theodore Roosevelt never had the opportunity to use Facebook, but he understood this concept. He once explained, "Comparison is the thief of joy." In fact, according to the Harvard Business Review, "liking others' content and clicking links significantly predicted a subsequent reduction in self-reported physical health, mental health, and life satisfaction."
Yet the negativity that consumes social media isn't even the most shocking discovery about our smartphones that is presented in this book. That feat belongs to the research presented by the University of Virginia and Harvard University. Their two-part study provides evidence that due to our extensive and frequent smartphone usage over several years, most of us are now unable to spend time alone without distractions.
In the first part of the study, "volunteers received a mild electric shock, and then were asked whether the experience was unpleasant enough that they would pay to avoid being shocked again."
Forty-two people said that yes, they would be willing to pay to avoid being shocked like that again.
So the researches took those same forty-two people into the second part of the study, in which each individual person was placed in a plain room without internet access or any devices and were told to "entertain themselves with their thoughts for fifteen minutes." The only activity available in the room was a button that would deliver the same electric shock that 100% of these participants had previously affirmed they would be willing to pay to avoid.
Before the fifteen minutes were up, 18 of these 42 participants had chosen to shock themselves as an preferable alternative to being alone with their thoughts for the full 15 minutes.
The second half of this book is as practical as the first half was shocking (pun intended). Price includes a 30-day plan to wean yourself off of smartphone dependency. She does not advocate abandoning your smartphone; only that you take back control of the device that may currently be controlling you. She also includes many, many insights along the way from participants who have previously followed her methods so that the reader gets an accurate depiction of the struggles and triumphs waiting for others who decide to break up with their respective phones.
She closes with these words: "We have less time in life than we realize--but we also have more time than we think. Reclaim the hours you spend on your screens, and you'll find that your possibilities expand... the key is to keep asking yourself the same question, again and again and again: this is your life--what do you want to pay attention to?"
I knew in the early pages of this one that it would become an all-time favorite read and that I would be hanging on to this one when I finished it. I used more highlighter than any other book in recent memory.
I loved Catherine Price's "Open Letter to My Phone" to begin the book. Here are some excerpts from that masterpiece:
"Dear Phone,
I still remember the first time we met. You were an expensive new gadget available only through AT&T. I was a person who could recite her best friends' phone numbers from memory... Then I held you in my hand, and things started moving fast. It wasn't long before we were doing everything together: taking walks, having lunch with friends, going on vacations. At first it seemed strange that you wanted to come with me to the bathroom, but today it's just another formerly private moment for us to share... I can't count the times we've gone to bed together and I've had to pinch myself to see if I'm dreaming, and believe me, I want to be dreaming, because ever since we met, something seems to be messing with my sleep... and that's why it's so hard for me to tell you that we need to break up."
That may be the best opening to any non-fiction book I've ever read. I loved the humor and the transparency. There are several things in this Open Letter that many readers will identify with. I was hooked before Chapter 1 started.
Price doesn't hate smartphones. But she has realized that they are valued in our advanced society much more highly than they ought to be. As she shares in the book's introduction, "Smartphones are amazing tools. But something about smartphones also makes us act like tools." The statistics she shares are as frightening as they are astonishing. Did you know that Americans between the ages of 18 and 24 check their phones an average of 82 times per day? And did you know that Americans of any age spend an average of 4 hours per day on their phones? Studies show that about half of us even check our phones in the middle of the night, and nearly 1 of 10 Americans admit to checking their phone during sex!
The message is that we're mentally and emotionally checked-out of our relationships on a very consistent basis.
And it's become the norm. Not being "where your feet are" is the hallmark of our technologically advanced society. Imagine what it must be like for today's teenagers, who can't even envision a life without a smartphone (Price has some chilling information about that generation as well).
Some of us have convinced ourselves that we check our phones as an escape or as a relief from anxiety, but have you ever checked your phone late at night only to find a stressful email that costs you a good night's sleep? Something that easily could have waited until the morning?
And it's costing us more than just a good night's sleep. Price cites that "multiple studies have associated the heavy use of smartphones (especially when used with social media) with negative effects on neuroticism, self-esteem, impulsivity, empathy, self-identity, and self-image, as well as with sleep problems, anxiety, stress, and depression," and she goes on to say that "smartphones are causing otherwise mentally healthy people to show signs of psychiatric problems such as narcissism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and attention deficity hyperactivity disorder."
That's not a great escape.
Yet smartphones are not actually designed to help us escape from anything. In fact, smartphone designers are aware of our natural desire for affirmation, and they have created most apps with this trait in mind: "Whether it's ratings on Uber or 'likes' on social media, many of today's most popular apps actively encourage users to judge one another... and even though we know that we're curating our own feeds to make our lives look as exciting and fun as possible, we forget that everyone else is doing the same thing... we are deliberately choosing to relive the worst parts of middle school."
And we're not just casually participating in that exercise. A New York Times study revealed that "Facebook users spend a collective 39,757 years' worth of attention on the site every single day. It's attention that we didn't spend on our families, or our friends, or ourselves. And just like the time, once we've spent attention, we can never get it back." With social media in mind, one researcher explained why Facebook is free: "Advertisers pay for Facebook. You get to use it for free because your eyeballs are what's being sold there."
Not only is this not a feel-good escape, but "numerous studies suggest that the more we use social media, the less happy we will be." Theodore Roosevelt never had the opportunity to use Facebook, but he understood this concept. He once explained, "Comparison is the thief of joy." In fact, according to the Harvard Business Review, "liking others' content and clicking links significantly predicted a subsequent reduction in self-reported physical health, mental health, and life satisfaction."
Yet the negativity that consumes social media isn't even the most shocking discovery about our smartphones that is presented in this book. That feat belongs to the research presented by the University of Virginia and Harvard University. Their two-part study provides evidence that due to our extensive and frequent smartphone usage over several years, most of us are now unable to spend time alone without distractions.
In the first part of the study, "volunteers received a mild electric shock, and then were asked whether the experience was unpleasant enough that they would pay to avoid being shocked again."
Forty-two people said that yes, they would be willing to pay to avoid being shocked like that again.
So the researches took those same forty-two people into the second part of the study, in which each individual person was placed in a plain room without internet access or any devices and were told to "entertain themselves with their thoughts for fifteen minutes." The only activity available in the room was a button that would deliver the same electric shock that 100% of these participants had previously affirmed they would be willing to pay to avoid.
Before the fifteen minutes were up, 18 of these 42 participants had chosen to shock themselves as an preferable alternative to being alone with their thoughts for the full 15 minutes.
The second half of this book is as practical as the first half was shocking (pun intended). Price includes a 30-day plan to wean yourself off of smartphone dependency. She does not advocate abandoning your smartphone; only that you take back control of the device that may currently be controlling you. She also includes many, many insights along the way from participants who have previously followed her methods so that the reader gets an accurate depiction of the struggles and triumphs waiting for others who decide to break up with their respective phones.
She closes with these words: "We have less time in life than we realize--but we also have more time than we think. Reclaim the hours you spend on your screens, and you'll find that your possibilities expand... the key is to keep asking yourself the same question, again and again and again: this is your life--what do you want to pay attention to?"