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A review by callen
Hot Pterodactyl Boyfriend by Alan Cumyn
1.0
Alright, this book. Hot Pterodactyl Boyfriend. I picked it up hoping, desperately needing this to be a campy, hilarious book that would do justice to its utterly perfect title. Sadly, that is not what I got.
From the first page, this book was a disappointment. I kept an open mind, thinking maybe it was just taking a bit for the story to get started. Though the constant mention of the pterodactyl’s ‘deeply muscled chest’ made me think that maybe, just maybe it would turn into the goofy, fun novel I was hoping for. But it takes itself too seriously, and therefore became a missed opportunity. The writing was too stiff and the main character Shiels is written like she’s a forty-year-old lawyer. It is impossible to think of Shiels as a teenage girl. Sure, she’s responsible, she’s smart, and those two things warrant something a little different than a Belle Swan, but the author clearly has no idea how teenagers, or people in general for that matter, talk in real life.
The plot is also painful to follow. A pterodactyl falls from the sky, there’s very little conflict about it, but the main character acts like everyone pulled out their guns and took aim. There’s a dance (but really is a poorly concealed substitution for sex), a couple of girls’ noses turn purple (I read these parts twice and I still have no idea what that was about), and some more not-sex-but-actually-is-sex. Then Pyke the pterodactyl straight up kidnaps Shiels to take her to his lair (a secluded place with lots of other pterodactyls, including one female student who turned into one apparently. Shiels gets away and and calmly asks for a ride from a trucker. The end. Seriously, that’s what happened. There’s no real conclusion, no sense of closer for the insanity that is this book. Twilight’s got nothing on this nonsense.
On the plus side, I finally learned how to spell pterodactyl.
So, to sum up, terrible writing, painful plot, and none of the fun campy-ness I was hoping for. Let’s just keep the Dino-porn in the cheap adult paperback section where it belongs.
Check out more of my reviews on www.callenwrites.com
From the first page, this book was a disappointment. I kept an open mind, thinking maybe it was just taking a bit for the story to get started. Though the constant mention of the pterodactyl’s ‘deeply muscled chest’ made me think that maybe, just maybe it would turn into the goofy, fun novel I was hoping for. But it takes itself too seriously, and therefore became a missed opportunity. The writing was too stiff and the main character Shiels is written like she’s a forty-year-old lawyer. It is impossible to think of Shiels as a teenage girl. Sure, she’s responsible, she’s smart, and those two things warrant something a little different than a Belle Swan, but the author clearly has no idea how teenagers, or people in general for that matter, talk in real life.
The plot is also painful to follow. A pterodactyl falls from the sky, there’s very little conflict about it, but the main character acts like everyone pulled out their guns and took aim. There’s a dance (but really is a poorly concealed substitution for sex), a couple of girls’ noses turn purple (I read these parts twice and I still have no idea what that was about), and some more not-sex-but-actually-is-sex. Then Pyke the pterodactyl straight up kidnaps Shiels to take her to his lair (a secluded place with lots of other pterodactyls, including one female student who turned into one apparently. Shiels gets away and and calmly asks for a ride from a trucker. The end. Seriously, that’s what happened. There’s no real conclusion, no sense of closer for the insanity that is this book. Twilight’s got nothing on this nonsense.
On the plus side, I finally learned how to spell pterodactyl.
So, to sum up, terrible writing, painful plot, and none of the fun campy-ness I was hoping for. Let’s just keep the Dino-porn in the cheap adult paperback section where it belongs.
Check out more of my reviews on www.callenwrites.com