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5.0

A brilliantly written story about the damage that comes from performative masculinity in white middle class men. I’m absolutely unable to encapsulate the magnitude here.

I’m blown away by Jared Yates Sexton’s eloquence, vulnerability, and research on the topic. He shares how his and his father’s toxic masculinity harmed them and essentially everyone they’ve been in contact with. He goes into the nuance of psychological dynamics, mental health, and the systemic support that keeps traditional masculinity going strong. The incorrect sex biases from birth. Trump being elected into office. How toxic masculinity emotionally stunts men and causes them to abuse themselves. Why performative masculinity contributes to misogyny, racism, xenophobia, and ableism.

It was heart wrenching to read, as someone who has a few family members who buy into this ludicrousness. It’s tragic. A toxicity that destroys from the inside out. Designed in a way to isolate and trap the masculine person in their own web, and dare them to lash outwards in order to hide their fragility. A toxicity that’s contagious and builds momentum out of insecurity.

Highly recommend to anyone masculine, socialized into masculinity, raising kids assigned male at birth, anyone who grew up in a world that gave high respect to this type of “manly man,” anyone confused about family members who buy into all this, and essentially everyone.