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annabellee 's review for:
Mr. & Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy: Two Shall Become One
by Sharon Lathan
Don't read this book. This book deserves the single star it gets because the grammar was correct throughout most of it. Other than that I have nothing good to say about this book. This is, at its heart, a badly-written, plot-less fan-fiction of the 2005 Pride & Prejudice movie starring Kiera Knightly and Matthew Macfadyen. Don't mistake me, I enjoyed that movie. Not so this book. There is one interesting part in it. It starts on page 239 and concludes at the end of Chapter 18.
This book is so bad that I had to break down the reasons why into categories:
1) There is no plot. I mean this literally. At no point in this novel was there a discernible, over-arcing plot. It's not as though it were written in the style of, say, Little Women, where each chapter is it's own miniature story. This book contains nearly 300 pages of pointless drivel that at no point takes the shape of a cohesive story. Oh, there are times when it threatens to, and gets the reader's hopes up that finally, finally we've gotten to the point of the story, but no. Your hopes will be dashed every time.
2) There is no conflict. The closest thing we have to any kind of challenge or conflict or goal in this book are the occasional marital spats between Elizabeth and Darcy. These are short-lived. Only once does it approach becoming interesting. Elizabeth makes friends with no trouble. She learns to become mistress of the house without even trying. She wins people over instantly. She gives amazing gifts accidentally. Darcy showers her with presents; money is no object. He is suddenly transformed into a perfect sociable gentleman. It is, in a word, boring. Everything comes far, far too easily to each and every character.
3) These are not the characters we know and love. These characters have the same names and reside in the same place as those in Pride and Prejudice, but there the resemblance ends. Elizabeth is somehow transformed into her mother - or even Lydia. Darcy becomes Colonel Fitzwilliam, Colonel Fitzwilliam becomes Bingley. Georgiana is suddenly Jane. Aunt Gardiner morphs into Mrs. Charlotte Palmer from Sense & Sensibility Not a single character trait is shared by the people in this book with the characters they are supposed to be. I was outraged throughout reading this as a result. And of course, Lathan justifies these sudden changes with, "it's all because of love!" Yeah, okay.
4) It's poorly written. Darcy and Elizabeth "beloved" and "my love" and "dearest" one another with every breath they take. This is not an exaggeration. My ability to read was hindered by the times I physically rolled my eyes because of their repetitive, unimaginative, affected manner towards one another. And that is just the surface of how badly this thing is written. The sex scenes are plentiful, repetitive, intrusive, and so poorly written that they are completely and utterly dissatisfying. I enjoy a good sex scene in a novel, don't get me wrong. These were not good. And honestly, I wouldn't qualify this book as a novel. As bad as the sex scenes were, the sword-fighting scene was somehow worse: clumsy, inarticulate, and utterly unbelievable.
In general, the writing was all "tell" and no "show." Random character backstories were dropped in as an afterthought to justify actions that otherwise made no sense. I read about seventeen different instances where the exact same concept was emphasized for no reason. That's for the one concept, mind. It happened endlessly for all manner of concepts. Character traits central to the point of the book were written off without so much of a thought or with a pitiful explanation. The foreshadowing was clumsy, where it was there at all. The book attempts dramatic reveals but does so by having the characters speculate on a single possibility that - surprise - ends up being the thing that gets revealed. The list goes on.
5) Elizabeth and Darcy's relationship is not healthy. Darcy is an abusive asshole who makes up for his treating Elizabeth like shit by giving her presents and money. Elizabeth acts like a brainwashed cultist, essentially worshiping Darcy to the point of injuring herself and others, all because of "love." No. You do not forego self-care and deny yourself basic comforts because of "love." This display makes me genuinely concerned for the author and her family.
6) It isn't historically accurate. It doesn't even approach being historically accurate. Basic tenants of the book are so completely wrong that anyone who has so much as attended a renaissance fair would see them, and yet they somehow managed to escape the notice of the author and the publisher. It's as though the author can't figure out where technology was during the Recency era. It waffled between Elizabethan and Victorian with alarming rapidity. One moment things are lit by torches, the next by gas lamps. The basic social structure - such as people calling on a newly married couple, or even calling on one another at all was completely and utterly ignored... unless it made it in as an afterthought. And the worst part is, the book tried so hard to emphasize the historical time it takes place in. It did such a bad job it would be funny if I weren't so utterly repulsed by every other aspect of this book. There is even a point at which a doctor laments not being able to see inside someone's head. Really.
7) The ending is even terrible. As much as I wanted this book to end, the ending feels like the writer just kind of walked away one day and never came back. There is no closure - not that there was much that closure could apply to - and it neither ends at a cohesive storytelling point, nor at a cliffhanger. It just trails off into nothing. It's like one of the cheap fade-outs from 90's songs that didn't know how to end properly. I got through the whole damned book only to experience diddly squat for the ending.
In conclusion, this book was bad. In fact, I dislike this book so much I wasn't bothered by the dog-eared pages in my copy (courtesy of my local library). Normally I am outraged on behalf of the book but I don't actually respect this book enough to care. It should never have walked off of the A03 or Fanfiction.net boards and into printed format. In fact, if I had been reading it on one of those illustrious sites, I probably wouldn't hate it as much as I do, because it wouldn't be pretending to be something it's not: i.e. something publishable. I've actually read significantly better, and more publisher-worthy, things on such sites. And that's saying something, as I don't read fan-fiction often.
There is a large amount of grotesquely-written graphic sex, violence, and language. I wouldn't recommend anyone ever read this book. Seriously. Put it down and walk away. One star.
This book is so bad that I had to break down the reasons why into categories:
1) There is no plot. I mean this literally. At no point in this novel was there a discernible, over-arcing plot. It's not as though it were written in the style of, say, Little Women, where each chapter is it's own miniature story. This book contains nearly 300 pages of pointless drivel that at no point takes the shape of a cohesive story. Oh, there are times when it threatens to, and gets the reader's hopes up that finally, finally we've gotten to the point of the story, but no. Your hopes will be dashed every time.
2) There is no conflict. The closest thing we have to any kind of challenge or conflict or goal in this book are the occasional marital spats between Elizabeth and Darcy. These are short-lived. Only once does it approach becoming interesting. Elizabeth makes friends with no trouble. She learns to become mistress of the house without even trying. She wins people over instantly. She gives amazing gifts accidentally. Darcy showers her with presents; money is no object. He is suddenly transformed into a perfect sociable gentleman. It is, in a word, boring. Everything comes far, far too easily to each and every character.
3) These are not the characters we know and love. These characters have the same names and reside in the same place as those in Pride and Prejudice, but there the resemblance ends. Elizabeth is somehow transformed into her mother - or even Lydia. Darcy becomes Colonel Fitzwilliam, Colonel Fitzwilliam becomes Bingley. Georgiana is suddenly Jane. Aunt Gardiner morphs into Mrs. Charlotte Palmer from Sense & Sensibility Not a single character trait is shared by the people in this book with the characters they are supposed to be. I was outraged throughout reading this as a result. And of course, Lathan justifies these sudden changes with, "it's all because of love!" Yeah, okay.
4) It's poorly written. Darcy and Elizabeth "beloved" and "my love" and "dearest" one another with every breath they take. This is not an exaggeration. My ability to read was hindered by the times I physically rolled my eyes because of their repetitive, unimaginative, affected manner towards one another. And that is just the surface of how badly this thing is written. The sex scenes are plentiful, repetitive, intrusive, and so poorly written that they are completely and utterly dissatisfying. I enjoy a good sex scene in a novel, don't get me wrong. These were not good. And honestly, I wouldn't qualify this book as a novel. As bad as the sex scenes were, the sword-fighting scene was somehow worse: clumsy, inarticulate, and utterly unbelievable.
In general, the writing was all "tell" and no "show." Random character backstories were dropped in as an afterthought to justify actions that otherwise made no sense. I read about seventeen different instances where the exact same concept was emphasized for no reason. That's for the one concept, mind. It happened endlessly for all manner of concepts. Character traits central to the point of the book were written off without so much of a thought or with a pitiful explanation. The foreshadowing was clumsy, where it was there at all. The book attempts dramatic reveals but does so by having the characters speculate on a single possibility that - surprise - ends up being the thing that gets revealed. The list goes on.
5) Elizabeth and Darcy's relationship is not healthy. Darcy is an abusive asshole who makes up for his treating Elizabeth like shit by giving her presents and money. Elizabeth acts like a brainwashed cultist, essentially worshiping Darcy to the point of injuring herself and others, all because of "love." No. You do not forego self-care and deny yourself basic comforts because of "love." This display makes me genuinely concerned for the author and her family.
6) It isn't historically accurate. It doesn't even approach being historically accurate. Basic tenants of the book are so completely wrong that anyone who has so much as attended a renaissance fair would see them, and yet they somehow managed to escape the notice of the author and the publisher. It's as though the author can't figure out where technology was during the Recency era. It waffled between Elizabethan and Victorian with alarming rapidity. One moment things are lit by torches, the next by gas lamps. The basic social structure - such as people calling on a newly married couple, or even calling on one another at all was completely and utterly ignored... unless it made it in as an afterthought. And the worst part is, the book tried so hard to emphasize the historical time it takes place in. It did such a bad job it would be funny if I weren't so utterly repulsed by every other aspect of this book. There is even a point at which a doctor laments not being able to see inside someone's head. Really.
7) The ending is even terrible. As much as I wanted this book to end, the ending feels like the writer just kind of walked away one day and never came back. There is no closure - not that there was much that closure could apply to - and it neither ends at a cohesive storytelling point, nor at a cliffhanger. It just trails off into nothing. It's like one of the cheap fade-outs from 90's songs that didn't know how to end properly. I got through the whole damned book only to experience diddly squat for the ending.
In conclusion, this book was bad. In fact, I dislike this book so much I wasn't bothered by the dog-eared pages in my copy (courtesy of my local library). Normally I am outraged on behalf of the book but I don't actually respect this book enough to care. It should never have walked off of the A03 or Fanfiction.net boards and into printed format. In fact, if I had been reading it on one of those illustrious sites, I probably wouldn't hate it as much as I do, because it wouldn't be pretending to be something it's not: i.e. something publishable. I've actually read significantly better, and more publisher-worthy, things on such sites. And that's saying something, as I don't read fan-fiction often.
There is a large amount of grotesquely-written graphic sex, violence, and language. I wouldn't recommend anyone ever read this book. Seriously. Put it down and walk away. One star.