Take a photo of a barcode or cover
ellaminnowpea84 's review for:
I've known since I was a kid that I didn't want to be a mother. I have a distinct memory of being 7 or 8 and joining my own mom and her aunts and cousins on a Memorial Day trip to decorate family graves. In the cemetery, I remember coming across a string of Depression-era headstones for a set of siblings who all died as children and declaring I never wanted to have kids. I don't know why that was the moment it clicked for me, but it was. The women who were there with me all enjoyed a good laugh and told me that I would change my mind one day when I grew up.
You know what? It's been more than 20 years and I still haven't changed my mind. But, just as recently as last week, people are still telling me that I'll change my mind.
Turns out, people ask a lot of questions about your plans for parenthood when you are a newlywed. I want to tell all these people, "I'm 31 goddamn years old. I think I've had enough time to think this through."
I've had moments of doubt along the way, where I wonder if maybe I'll regret it when I get old. I've even picked out names for children I know I don't want (Chelsea Evan and Ryan Cage). But 99.9% of the time, I think about the idea of doing it and I know that it is not an experience I want for myself.
There's a whole slew of reasons why I feel this way. I'm an incredibly anxious person and sometimes just having a cat to provide for is stressful enough--a dog seems like too much work for me. I don't trust that I would ever feel confident in what I was doing to the point where I wouldn't permanently fuck up a child. My own mother passed away when I was a teen and I can't imagine coming home from the hospital with a newborn and not having her there to tell me what to do with my nipples. It's only been within the last couple years that I've gotten to a place where I feel financially stable and the cost of raising a child would almost certainly destroy that. I would have to forgo most of the things that I've always wanted to do that I couldn't afford when I was in my twenties, and I wouldn't have the kind of mobility I want in my life, to be able to move to a new city uninhibited. I think of how busy I am now, and how hard it already is to find time to relax between work and general household kind of stuff. Throwing a kid into the mix would be overwhelming. Then there's the fact that I simply don't enjoy being around kids. I'm not "I hate kids," or anything, but I really don't have the patience to deal with temper tantrums, and even when it's time to play, it's exhausting to put myself on the same level as a small kid for more than anything considered "brief."
It's just not for me. Not even a little bit. Call me selfish, call me self-absorbed, whatever. I know it's not something I want and I know it's not something I would ever feel like I was doing well.
I come across so few like-minded females and as more and more of my friends begin to procreate, I feel like they're drifting away from me (whether because we now have less in common or because they just have less time, I don't know, but it still makes me sad) So, I was really excited to read this book and feel like I could relate. There were a few essays that made me wrinkle my nose, but overall this book is fantastic. Reading it was a powerful experience for me.
You know what? It's been more than 20 years and I still haven't changed my mind. But, just as recently as last week, people are still telling me that I'll change my mind.
Turns out, people ask a lot of questions about your plans for parenthood when you are a newlywed. I want to tell all these people, "I'm 31 goddamn years old. I think I've had enough time to think this through."
I've had moments of doubt along the way, where I wonder if maybe I'll regret it when I get old. I've even picked out names for children I know I don't want (Chelsea Evan and Ryan Cage). But 99.9% of the time, I think about the idea of doing it and I know that it is not an experience I want for myself.
There's a whole slew of reasons why I feel this way. I'm an incredibly anxious person and sometimes just having a cat to provide for is stressful enough--a dog seems like too much work for me. I don't trust that I would ever feel confident in what I was doing to the point where I wouldn't permanently fuck up a child. My own mother passed away when I was a teen and I can't imagine coming home from the hospital with a newborn and not having her there to tell me what to do with my nipples. It's only been within the last couple years that I've gotten to a place where I feel financially stable and the cost of raising a child would almost certainly destroy that. I would have to forgo most of the things that I've always wanted to do that I couldn't afford when I was in my twenties, and I wouldn't have the kind of mobility I want in my life, to be able to move to a new city uninhibited. I think of how busy I am now, and how hard it already is to find time to relax between work and general household kind of stuff. Throwing a kid into the mix would be overwhelming. Then there's the fact that I simply don't enjoy being around kids. I'm not "I hate kids," or anything, but I really don't have the patience to deal with temper tantrums, and even when it's time to play, it's exhausting to put myself on the same level as a small kid for more than anything considered "brief."
It's just not for me. Not even a little bit. Call me selfish, call me self-absorbed, whatever. I know it's not something I want and I know it's not something I would ever feel like I was doing well.
I come across so few like-minded females and as more and more of my friends begin to procreate, I feel like they're drifting away from me (whether because we now have less in common or because they just have less time, I don't know, but it still makes me sad) So, I was really excited to read this book and feel like I could relate. There were a few essays that made me wrinkle my nose, but overall this book is fantastic. Reading it was a powerful experience for me.