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A review by rinnyssance
HOW TO DEAL WITH YO BABY DADDY: A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO EFFECTIVE CO-PARENTING AND PRESERVATION OF SELF by Tahera Rene Christy
3.0
This is a very fast read about co-parenting with a horrible man. When I first started reading it, I was really into it because the author explained why she became a "Baby Mama." I understood the lack of positive relationship models and even the sexual abuse and harassment from other men, and how it can skew your perception of men, yourself, and relationships in general. That was about where it stopped. I could not relate to anything mentioned in this book. Probably because I am not a Baby Mama. I don't really have the same temperament as this author at all either. And I'd most likely abort a baby a man told me he didn't want to avoid this situation entirely.
I thought reading this book would add to my family planning toolbox and help me understand how people survive after dealing with an uncooperative co-parent on the chance my child's father and I could no longer get along. However, this was more about the woman who may aid in the uncooperative behavior, and how she should become the "bigger person" in the situation.
The advice was often graffitied with comments I thought were simple-minded and juvenile. Constant talks about the sex that made the child and how "good" it was. "You let him cum in you!" was a recurring and unnecessary exclamation. Sex makes babies, we know. Constant talks about how the father is simply the financial officer of the childcaring situation. Not disrespecting your sociopathic ex's' next victim. I felt really uncomfortable reading it. But I've watched enough Maury and Paternity Court become aware of that reality for some.
This was almost like a self-help book for Love and Hip Hop characters. It has no application to my real life but it was eye-opening that this is real life for others. I can't even imagine what kind of juvenile-minded people out there have children, or would find this book useful. The obvious talks about putting children first and getting along for the sake of the child are really a testament to why family planning is absolutely necessary. There was little to no advice about the children. And I'm willing to say that this reason is that the people who get into these sorts of situations are in them because their parents also were--so they have no modeling to go after. The situation is only about the child when someone needs to calm down. However, it's always been about the child and most of these issues and conflicts should have been resolved long before the child's birth. The advice in this book is painfully obvious.
Empathizing with the author's background, she was born into a very religious family who frowned on abortion. Who did not tell her how to choose the right partner. And sexual abuse and harassment left her thinking men only care about sex and it's the only attention she will get from them. No one told her anything or talked to her about anything. I understand the motivation for writing this book. I just took it as a cautionary tale. Because it is honestly a nightmare.
I mean, imagine dealing with your child's father being like dealing with living with AIDS. Kids, please plan your families. Please wear protection. I wish this book stressed that a little more. Even if it were directed at Baby Mamas.
I thought reading this book would add to my family planning toolbox and help me understand how people survive after dealing with an uncooperative co-parent on the chance my child's father and I could no longer get along. However, this was more about the woman who may aid in the uncooperative behavior, and how she should become the "bigger person" in the situation.
The advice was often graffitied with comments I thought were simple-minded and juvenile. Constant talks about the sex that made the child and how "good" it was. "You let him cum in you!" was a recurring and unnecessary exclamation. Sex makes babies, we know. Constant talks about how the father is simply the financial officer of the childcaring situation. Not disrespecting your sociopathic ex's' next victim. I felt really uncomfortable reading it. But I've watched enough Maury and Paternity Court become aware of that reality for some.
This was almost like a self-help book for Love and Hip Hop characters. It has no application to my real life but it was eye-opening that this is real life for others. I can't even imagine what kind of juvenile-minded people out there have children, or would find this book useful. The obvious talks about putting children first and getting along for the sake of the child are really a testament to why family planning is absolutely necessary. There was little to no advice about the children. And I'm willing to say that this reason is that the people who get into these sorts of situations are in them because their parents also were--so they have no modeling to go after. The situation is only about the child when someone needs to calm down. However, it's always been about the child and most of these issues and conflicts should have been resolved long before the child's birth. The advice in this book is painfully obvious.
Empathizing with the author's background, she was born into a very religious family who frowned on abortion. Who did not tell her how to choose the right partner. And sexual abuse and harassment left her thinking men only care about sex and it's the only attention she will get from them. No one told her anything or talked to her about anything. I understand the motivation for writing this book. I just took it as a cautionary tale. Because it is honestly a nightmare.
I mean, imagine dealing with your child's father being like dealing with living with AIDS. Kids, please plan your families. Please wear protection. I wish this book stressed that a little more. Even if it were directed at Baby Mamas.