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A review by thejoyofbooking
Off Balance: Getting Beyond the Work-Life Balance Myth to Personal and Professional Satisfaction by Matthew Kelly
4.0
I have become a much bigger proponent of work-life balance in the last year than I could have imagined. So much so that I quit my dream job, took a forty percent pay cut, and moved across the country to have a better chance of adding some “life” to my own work-life balance. So I really wanted to love this book, but I think at best I can only say that I liked it all right. (Which, really, is not the worst comment someone can make about a book.)
And the kind of sad reason is that there’s really good information throughout the book but the author got off on the wrong foot with me in chapter one, when he retold that story about the fisherman in Costa Rica or wherever, who spends the morning catching fish and the afternoons lying in his hammock. A developer comes along and tells the fisherman he should fish all day, make more money, buy more boats, develop a fleet, make corporate deals, higher more people, earn more money, so that someday he can retire to the beach and lie in a hammock. Obviously in this story, the developer is the one with his priorities askew, but somehow Matthew Kelly manages to side with the developer in the first chapter, which just bothered me for the rest of the book.
That said, there is a lot of good information in this book. One of the key things that the author focuses on is identifying what balance looks like to you- because it won’t be the same for everyone. It can be difficult to distinguish between pleasure and satisfaction, because they both sound pretty good, but only satisfaction will give you balance, so that’s what you should be striving for. How to tell the difference? “Pleasure cannot be sustained beyond the activity producing it; satisfaction can be sustained beyond the activity producing it.” He goes on to say, “one of the beautiful things about satisfaction is that you know when you have it and you know when you don’t. Satisfaction is also somethig we can increase with effort” unlike pleasure – a great argument for understanding the difference!
Determining what brings you satisfaction is a personal matter, but it’s important to take action to understand what satisfaction looks like and how to get there. “You are personally responsible for the speed of your life and your lifestyle,” says Kelly. This comment gave me pause – it’s really easy to feel like our lives are out of our control. I’m so busy, I have so many responsibilities, I just can’t quit my job/cut back on my commitments. Says who? Yes, opting for more balance might mean that you won’t earn as much money or have as prestigious a title but if you’re happier, isn’t that better? There is no requirement that in this life you must work a high-powered job or bring in a certain salary. There is always the option, and there is always the word “no”.
Taking responsibility for the speed of your life is important. Kelly points out, “We are not going to just wake up one day and discover we have stumbled into a life of satisfaction. It is not just going to happen. We need to be intentional about it.” The process of creating an intentional life is where the book gets a little fuzzy, which is sort of understandable because that intention will look different for everyone. A big part of it is changing the period of time you think about – if you think about your life in terms of this year and next year, it is hard to see where the choices you’re making are taking you. If you can look at the next five years, the next ten years – the next twenty years – you can start to make choices and changes that will actually bring you more in line with a life of satisfaction, starting now. It also drives home the point that it’s rare to be able to develop a life of satisfaction overnight – it will take time. Just as you didn’t arrive where you are overnight, neither will you change whatever is bringing you out of balance – it takes time, patience, and purpose.
In all, this is a thoughtful look at how to make choices that set us up for greater, long-lasting happiness down the road.
And the kind of sad reason is that there’s really good information throughout the book but the author got off on the wrong foot with me in chapter one, when he retold that story about the fisherman in Costa Rica or wherever, who spends the morning catching fish and the afternoons lying in his hammock. A developer comes along and tells the fisherman he should fish all day, make more money, buy more boats, develop a fleet, make corporate deals, higher more people, earn more money, so that someday he can retire to the beach and lie in a hammock. Obviously in this story, the developer is the one with his priorities askew, but somehow Matthew Kelly manages to side with the developer in the first chapter, which just bothered me for the rest of the book.
That said, there is a lot of good information in this book. One of the key things that the author focuses on is identifying what balance looks like to you- because it won’t be the same for everyone. It can be difficult to distinguish between pleasure and satisfaction, because they both sound pretty good, but only satisfaction will give you balance, so that’s what you should be striving for. How to tell the difference? “Pleasure cannot be sustained beyond the activity producing it; satisfaction can be sustained beyond the activity producing it.” He goes on to say, “one of the beautiful things about satisfaction is that you know when you have it and you know when you don’t. Satisfaction is also somethig we can increase with effort” unlike pleasure – a great argument for understanding the difference!
Determining what brings you satisfaction is a personal matter, but it’s important to take action to understand what satisfaction looks like and how to get there. “You are personally responsible for the speed of your life and your lifestyle,” says Kelly. This comment gave me pause – it’s really easy to feel like our lives are out of our control. I’m so busy, I have so many responsibilities, I just can’t quit my job/cut back on my commitments. Says who? Yes, opting for more balance might mean that you won’t earn as much money or have as prestigious a title but if you’re happier, isn’t that better? There is no requirement that in this life you must work a high-powered job or bring in a certain salary. There is always the option, and there is always the word “no”.
Taking responsibility for the speed of your life is important. Kelly points out, “We are not going to just wake up one day and discover we have stumbled into a life of satisfaction. It is not just going to happen. We need to be intentional about it.” The process of creating an intentional life is where the book gets a little fuzzy, which is sort of understandable because that intention will look different for everyone. A big part of it is changing the period of time you think about – if you think about your life in terms of this year and next year, it is hard to see where the choices you’re making are taking you. If you can look at the next five years, the next ten years – the next twenty years – you can start to make choices and changes that will actually bring you more in line with a life of satisfaction, starting now. It also drives home the point that it’s rare to be able to develop a life of satisfaction overnight – it will take time. Just as you didn’t arrive where you are overnight, neither will you change whatever is bringing you out of balance – it takes time, patience, and purpose.
In all, this is a thoughtful look at how to make choices that set us up for greater, long-lasting happiness down the road.