A review by maiakobabe
I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying by Youngmi Mayer

dark emotional funny fast-paced

3.75

I was only vaguely aware of Youngmi Mayer from tiktok before picking up the audiobook of this blunt and honest memoir, read by the author. I think experiencing it as an audiobook greatly enhanced my experience- the sections in which the author's voice shook with emotion when describing, in particular, the hardships her family experienced during the Japanese occupation of Korea, meant the memories hit much harder than they might have if I was reading in print. Overall I was very impressed by Mayer's insights on her multi-cultural mixed-race childhood, how her parents' traumas impacted their ability to be present for their kids, and how that damage played out in her teens and early twenties. This book tackles a lot of heavy subjects including colonial violence, bullying, fat-shaming, eating disorders, drug use, suicide, and depression. The tone, which is almost aggressively matter-of-fact, with flashes of piercing insight and occasional jokes, kept me riveted. I do wish a late chapter on a brief queer relationship had been more thoughtful; that was one section that felt kind of half-baked and unnecessarily gender-binary. But overall I'd still recommend this memoir, especially for those looking for critical takes on the fault lines of both Korean and American culture.