A review by andreiaoh
Big Girl by Mecca Jamilah Sullivan

challenging emotional reflective slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

i have such complicated feelings regarding this book eee (hence my rating is not really set in stone - really do think i need to step away from rating books next year as i overthink it toooo much)

the writing is gorgeous, sullivan is clearly an incredibly talented author. no notes regarding the writing. there really wasn't much plot here so to speak, it was very much a character study, but i also think that was done impeccably. despite malaya really not having much dialogue, her character felt SO real and her entire personhood really came across to me whilst i was reading; her interests, her mannerisms, her personality. quiet as she was, malaya was not voiceless in the narrative. this goes for the other characters too - as the novel unfolded, the interiors of the other characters revealed themselves to us through malaya's perspective. this book clearly looks at black womanhood, fatness, and generational trauma as its central theme, but weaved delicately throughout the narrative are also themes exploring queer identity, desirability and respectability politics, colourism, classism, and gentrification. despite not seeming like big parts of the novel, once you step back and think about the book as a whole, these more subtle elements of the story shine through. sometimes i find that when so many themes are explored in a single story, it can feel heavy-handed or clumsy, but it was balanced well here, a testament to the author's skills. 

despite that, sometimes i think this felt a bit tooo meandering, and i found myself losing interest quite a bit. this book wasn't disinteresting or dull per-se, but i was often quite bored (even though those sound like contradictory statements!), teetering on not enjoying. even considering this, i never once wanted to dnf the story. i was so interested in how the rest of malaya's adolescence would unfold, and how she would grow into herself, and how that quiet confidence and self-assurance bubbling under the surface would emerge (i was satisfied at the end of this read :>). i do think this had a profound impact on me, and i think this is a story that will stick with me for some time. 

this is not a book i would recommend widely, but i think its 1000% worth reading.