A review by abbie_
Since I Laid My Burden Down by Brontez Purnell

dark emotional funny reflective sad fast-paced

3.0

I’ve been wanting to try Brontez Purnell’s later book 100 Boyfriends for a while, so when I spotted Since I Laid My Burden down on Everand, I jumped at it. It was exactly what I needed last week - short and gritty, fast paced and laced with humour, though veering into murkier territory than I perhaps expected.

It’s unflinchingly honest about growing up Black and queer and punk in the American south - religion and traditional values do not make this an easy life. The main character DeShawn recounts the various relationships he’s had with damaged men over his life, both familial and sexual, most of whom are now dead. The style is rough, raw and choppy - no frills and it suits the content perfectly. 

However, although I get what Purnell was wanting to depict, I was unhappy with the way DeShawn, a victim of childhood sexual abuse himself, then fell into the pattern of predatory behaviour himself. He engages in a sexual relationship with a boy who is I believe 15 or 16 years old when he’s 33. I agree with other reviewers that this section of the book is written off too quickly, and DeShawn doesn’t seem to grasp the magnitude of what he’s done. I absolutely realise that this is very much a part of gay coming-of-age (I literally just read Beijing Comrades where the same thing happens), but since DeShawn is otherwise a character you want to root for, I was sad that his behaviour was brushed off as the norm.

Quick, brutal and desperately sad. 
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