A review by aidenseeyathere
The Left Hand of God by Paul Hoffman

1.0

Okay so I don't often hate a book since usually a book has some redeeming qualities. But this book is way better in theory than it is in practice. An incredibly interesting premise that was poorly executed with just random misogyny sprinkled in there. If I ever have to hear about Riba's """plumpness""" or Arbell "Swan-Neck" who many men have tried to imagine naked.... I might actually commit a war crime.

Granted, the first 10 chapters were enjoyable. They were dark and gritty and described awful living circumstances and grotesque stuff happening, but as the book progressed the entire tone shifted and it became a hot mess. I would've rather the gang stayed in the Redeemer's monastery for the entire book than whatever nonsense happened in Memphis.

The romance is by far the most unbelievable romance I have ever read. When the basis of your romance is that the person you might like is cold and heartless, but deep down probably a good person, it's probably good to ditch the romance plot and find a different way to have leverage on Cale.

Speaking of - Cale is by far the most insufferable protagonist to read about. He's good at everything, can defeat war veterans without so much as a scratch (despite being described as a half-malnourished yet dorito-shaped 15-year old) and the best generals in town, and barely gets any problems for it. In fact, he manages to get a seat as a top strategist even though he killed one of the most important generals in the Materazzi army. It's absolutely ridiculous and not in the good way. There's no grain of empathy in this man, and I have no grain of sympathy for him. However, somehow he manages to get the girl and be one of the most important people in the entire city. It reads as someone's first rogue character and follows all the tropes.

And then we aren't even talking about how the writing is slow, filled with unnecessary detail, and has awful pacing. Most of this book could've been condensed so it would've been 150 pages shorter and it would've covered the same ground. There are many long paragraphs that describe the size of cavalry or lore and worldbuilding that is never touched upon ever again. The dialogue is supposedly filled with "dark humour" that falls flat on its face.

Also, where does this book take place? Why is there mention of York, but also Memphis? Why are the Norwegians mentioned? Why is there a section about how Jews always take the short end of the stick in war??? Why was Jesus mentioned despite the fact that this book spends a good 5 chapters setting up a different religion system?? I thought we were in a fantasy universe???

I was planning to read the second and third book in this trilogy but after looking at some of the reviews it apparently only gets worse and doesn't deliver on the premise, so I'm not going to bother. Such a pity, though.