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A review by thatgrace
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed
4.0
Radical empathy, tough love, and golden nuggets of wisdom. Here are a few of my favorites:
“a two-sided chalkboard in your living room I'd write humility on one side and surrender on the other for you….You loathe yourself, and yet you're consumed by the grandiose ideas you have about your own importance. You're up too high and down too low. Neither is the place where we get any work done.We get the work done on the ground level” (58).
“Nobody's going to do you like you. You have to do it yourself, whether you're rich or pur out of money or raking it in, the beneficiary of ridiculous fortune or terrible injustice. And you have to do it no matter what is true. No matter what is hard. No matter whe unjust, sad, sucky things have befallen you. Self-pity is dead-end road. You make the choice to drive down it. It’s up to you to decide to stay parked there or to turn anun and drive out” (202).
“I can only say you are worthy of [love] and that it's never too much to ask for it and that it's not crazy to fear you'll never have it again, even though your fears are probably wrong. Love is our essential nutrient. Without it, life has little meaning. It's the best thing we have to give and the most valuable thing we receive. It's worthy of all the hullabaloo” (219).
“Your longing for love is only one part of you. I know that it feels gigantic when you're all alone writing to me, or when you imagine going out on that first date with a woman you desire. But don't let your need be the only thing you show. It will scare people off. It will misrepresent how much you have to offer. We have to be whole people to find whole love, even if we have to make” (221).
“You will do this when you're ready to do this. To be ready you need only the desire to change your life. To succeed, most people need a community of support…” (232).
“The narratives we create in order to justify our actions and choices become in so many ways who we are. They are the things we say back to ourselves to explain our complicated lives. Perhaps the reason you've not yet been able to forgive yourself is that you're still invested in your self-loathing. Perhaps not forgiving yourself is the flip side of your steal-this-now cycle. Would you be a better or worse person if you forgave yourself for the bad things you did? If you perpetually condemn yourself for being a liar and thief, does that make you good?” (272).
“Saying it's hard is ultimately a justification to do whatever seems like the easiest thing to do— “ (287).
“…when we‘re in the presence of someone else's pain, the burden of not-doing is so much greater than the burden of doing. Doing lifts the burden. Even if it's a small thing. Like writing a letter” (356).
& there’s so much more!!
“a two-sided chalkboard in your living room I'd write humility on one side and surrender on the other for you….You loathe yourself, and yet you're consumed by the grandiose ideas you have about your own importance. You're up too high and down too low. Neither is the place where we get any work done.We get the work done on the ground level” (58).
“Nobody's going to do you like you. You have to do it yourself, whether you're rich or pur out of money or raking it in, the beneficiary of ridiculous fortune or terrible injustice. And you have to do it no matter what is true. No matter what is hard. No matter whe unjust, sad, sucky things have befallen you. Self-pity is dead-end road. You make the choice to drive down it. It’s up to you to decide to stay parked there or to turn anun and drive out” (202).
“I can only say you are worthy of [love] and that it's never too much to ask for it and that it's not crazy to fear you'll never have it again, even though your fears are probably wrong. Love is our essential nutrient. Without it, life has little meaning. It's the best thing we have to give and the most valuable thing we receive. It's worthy of all the hullabaloo” (219).
“Your longing for love is only one part of you. I know that it feels gigantic when you're all alone writing to me, or when you imagine going out on that first date with a woman you desire. But don't let your need be the only thing you show. It will scare people off. It will misrepresent how much you have to offer. We have to be whole people to find whole love, even if we have to make” (221).
“You will do this when you're ready to do this. To be ready you need only the desire to change your life. To succeed, most people need a community of support…” (232).
“The narratives we create in order to justify our actions and choices become in so many ways who we are. They are the things we say back to ourselves to explain our complicated lives. Perhaps the reason you've not yet been able to forgive yourself is that you're still invested in your self-loathing. Perhaps not forgiving yourself is the flip side of your steal-this-now cycle. Would you be a better or worse person if you forgave yourself for the bad things you did? If you perpetually condemn yourself for being a liar and thief, does that make you good?” (272).
“Saying it's hard is ultimately a justification to do whatever seems like the easiest thing to do— “ (287).
“…when we‘re in the presence of someone else's pain, the burden of not-doing is so much greater than the burden of doing. Doing lifts the burden. Even if it's a small thing. Like writing a letter” (356).
& there’s so much more!!