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womanvthevoid 's review for:
The Dry Season: A Memoir of Pleasure in a Year Without Sex
by Melissa Febos
i love her work. her writing is always searingly vulnerable, but never salacious. her life and past are shocking, but she never submits to that narrative. instead, she makes her own, creating a story out of her interest in stories, writing from her interest in writing, living from her interest in the lives of other writers.
i saw she sold this book proposal shortly after i had begun my own dry season, and this book couldn't come out fast enough. now, a few years later, my dry season is over, so is hers, but reading her account still felt so validating. i didn't know that i could say no. i didnt know that i could say yes. i didnt know that i could decide to say either no or yes. i didn't no that i could be in charge of my own destiny. i didn't know that i was allowed to want or not want. neither did she. the slow pain and difficulty it took with which she learned these things feels so familiar to me. so do her revelations. i really feel like we went through the same things. the details are different, but the lessons are the same. like her, i suddenly had so much time to do things that nourished me. like her, i learned to take care of myself, and to listen to myself. like her, it helped me find a much better partner when i felt ready.
though i found this very satisfying and beautiful, i am still a writer and still a picky bitch! lol
only docking this because im not so into the religion comparisons, not necessarily because im against religion or christianity (most of the time, i am not), but because i didnt really buy the connection. the metaphor or comparison, analogy i suppose, stepped between replacing her devotion to her partners and other ppl w others' devotion to jesus, and then her renouncing that devotion by comparing herself to those who are celibate for (devoted to) jesus. yes, she posits that maybe it's not quite jesus, and maybe this is the only way for women to have experienced a kind of freedom. i personally feel like, sure, maybe, but i think a lot of them also were really into jesus. it was interesting, but didnt totally coalesce for me.
i saw she sold this book proposal shortly after i had begun my own dry season, and this book couldn't come out fast enough. now, a few years later, my dry season is over, so is hers, but reading her account still felt so validating. i didn't know that i could say no. i didnt know that i could say yes. i didnt know that i could decide to say either no or yes. i didn't no that i could be in charge of my own destiny. i didn't know that i was allowed to want or not want. neither did she. the slow pain and difficulty it took with which she learned these things feels so familiar to me. so do her revelations. i really feel like we went through the same things. the details are different, but the lessons are the same. like her, i suddenly had so much time to do things that nourished me. like her, i learned to take care of myself, and to listen to myself. like her, it helped me find a much better partner when i felt ready.
though i found this very satisfying and beautiful, i am still a writer and still a picky bitch! lol
only docking this because im not so into the religion comparisons, not necessarily because im against religion or christianity (most of the time, i am not), but because i didnt really buy the connection. the metaphor or comparison, analogy i suppose, stepped between replacing her devotion to her partners and other ppl w others' devotion to jesus, and then her renouncing that devotion by comparing herself to those who are celibate for (devoted to) jesus. yes, she posits that maybe it's not quite jesus, and maybe this is the only way for women to have experienced a kind of freedom. i personally feel like, sure, maybe, but i think a lot of them also were really into jesus. it was interesting, but didnt totally coalesce for me.