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A review by cassie7e
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
4.5 stars
This book made me feel a lot of things, which is the marker of a good story!! Docked half a star just because it was slow for me to get into at first bc Eleanor is so judgmental at the beginning. We learn more about where these thought patterns come from and see her desire for connection and kind heart underneath. So some warm fuzzy feelings come from seeing her grow in that aspect. This book is also about the incredible importance of small interactions in daily life. Consistent tiny positive relationships with people we see regularly but don't know well lift the spirits so much, as many of us learned when covid cut all of those off.
Hearing about the tragic backstory is of course sad. But what struck me more from an autism* lens was the disconnect between what she thinks is acceptable social practice and what everyone else does. I can see how her judgments and blunt speech come off as rude to others, and also can see how others make little effort to tolerate her difference. She is judged in the way so many autistic people are judged - for not understanding social rules well and coming off as "rude" or weird even when she means well, for adhering too strictly to what are ostensibly social "rules" that everyone knows you're supposed to break; for adhering to rules she was taught as a child that aren't universal or are harmful; for being book smart but socially inept; for not having very good emotional intelligence (due to alexithymia that could have to do w autism AND trauma).... the way thoughts about her self worth and skills come directly from judgments others have thrown at her live on in her mind and make her question if she deserves to have relationships with people.
My heart broke at every interaction because people didn't understand her, because she was hard on herself, and because she comes from such lack that one person actually caring for her as a person means so much. Even as someone with so much richness in their life, her experiences struck a chord with struggles I've had and made me want to be a friend for her who stands up against any who would judge her as I and people like me have been judged and worse.
*While the book is clearly about trauma, no other neurodivergence is referenced. Whether or not she is meant to also be autistic, autistic readers may relate strongly to her.
This book made me feel a lot of things, which is the marker of a good story!! Docked half a star just because it was slow for me to get into at first bc Eleanor is so judgmental at the beginning. We learn more about where these thought patterns come from and see her desire for connection and kind heart underneath. So some warm fuzzy feelings come from seeing her grow in that aspect. This book is also about the incredible importance of small interactions in daily life. Consistent tiny positive relationships with people we see regularly but don't know well lift the spirits so much, as many of us learned when covid cut all of those off.
Hearing about the tragic backstory is of course sad. But what struck me more from an autism* lens was the disconnect between what she thinks is acceptable social practice and what everyone else does. I can see how her judgments and blunt speech come off as rude to others, and also can see how others make little effort to tolerate her difference. She is judged in the way so many autistic people are judged - for not understanding social rules well and coming off as "rude" or weird even when she means well, for adhering too strictly to what are ostensibly social "rules" that everyone knows you're supposed to break; for adhering to rules she was taught as a child that aren't universal or are harmful; for being book smart but socially inept; for not having very good emotional intelligence (due to alexithymia that could have to do w autism AND trauma).... the way thoughts about her self worth and skills come directly from judgments others have thrown at her live on in her mind and make her question if she deserves to have relationships with people.
My heart broke at every interaction because people didn't understand her, because she was hard on herself, and because she comes from such lack that one person actually caring for her as a person means so much. Even as someone with so much richness in their life, her experiences struck a chord with struggles I've had and made me want to be a friend for her who stands up against any who would judge her as I and people like me have been judged and worse.
*While the book is clearly about trauma, no other neurodivergence is referenced. Whether or not she is meant to also be autistic, autistic readers may relate strongly to her.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide attempt and Grief
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Child abuse, Toxic relationship, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Fatphobia, Fire/Fire injury, and Stalking
Minor: Rape, Animal cruelty, Fatphobia, Child death, Death of parent, Medical content, Sexual assault, and Body shaming