Take a photo of a barcode or cover
A review by potatq
It Starts with Us by Colleen Hoover
3.0
I will probably enjoy reading 1 star reviews of this because it has some valid flaws (cringe moments) with the romance aspect. I think the appeal with Atlas in IEWU is we never really got to know him in a deeply personal way. He wasn’t an active part of the story. But here in ISWU, he was too cringey and cheesy for my liking. And ngl, he lacked some personality aside from being one of the few good men Lily has known in her life.
However, this wasn’t in any way a romance book to me (similar to IEWU). I don’t think the story focused heavily on Lily and Atlas’ romance. This is a story of how a person navigates life after an abusive relationship (for Lily’s POV); and how to come into terms with your childhood trauma brought upon by your supposed family (for Atlas’ POV). They just happened to start a relationship as they tackle these situations individually, but their relationship was never the focus of this story imo.
I’m glad they got to have a happy ending, both of them deserve it. I do feel that everything concluded very neatly and TOO conveniently for the both of them. That’s not how it is in real life, but that’s why it’s fiction. At least, there’s cheesy convenient happy endings in fiction.
Apart from how things concluded, I think that the situations were realistic. It resonated with me. I genuinely liked how Lily wasn’t just suddenly firm and detached in her decisions involving Ryle; it makes sense because she did spend a lot of time in the mindset of defending/excusing his behavior while in a relationship with him. It makes a lot of sense on how she remains to constantly question herself if her choices and feelings towards him are valid. How she initially handled their co-parenting relationship made full sense to me but I’m proud that she got to a point wherein she knew she had to stop tolerating his bs. Healing’s a fucking bitch. It can sometimes feel like life AFTER the abuse/trauma is even harder because now you have to be responsible in healing something that wasn’t your fault. It was a slow process of having to unlearn so much of her mindset + thought processes but she got there.
AND BOI DID RYLE MAKE ME WANT TO CHUCK MY IPAD ACROSS THE ROOM SO MANY DAMN TIMES. I genuinely want Ryle to rot in hell. His ass was damn lucky Lily was even letting him near her child and adjusting the way she did in the beginning. Anyways… While I agree this sequel wasn’t exactly necessary, I also feel in a way that it was needed because we got to see how much of a truly bad person Ryle really is. FOR ALL THOSE TEAM RYLE GURLIES OUT THERE, pls take note that he wouldn’t have ever changed. IEWU kind of left him on a lighter note wherein the reader can still sympathize with him to an extent in the sense that they can understand why he is the way he is, WHICH IN NO WAY EXCUSES IT but probably why there are gurlies defending him. In this sequel, it highlights his abusive patterns and how truly deep the abuse would have continued. Even divorced, he was still very much harmful.
Lastly, Atlas’ family story is very much heartbreaking and speaks true to real life childhood trauma caused by family. Children do not owe their parents’ forgiveness for the pain they’ve inflicted no matter their own circumstances. Yes, a point of understanding (and even sympathy) can be reached but forgiveness is not a requirement to do so. I think Atlas’ POV would very much resonate with anyone who had their childhoods robbed from them, to anyone who had to grow up too quickly to survive.
—> I genuinely loved how Atlas describes the feeling of love having grown up never really experiencing it from those who should have. Buuuuut… I don’t think CoHo should have built the entire foundation of his love for Lily be the fact that she was the one who essentially saved him and the first person to ever show him kindness. For him to have never known love in any other way or to have not loved anyone and had any other significant relationships in his life outside of Lily, is just extremely off to me and screams DANGER. Plus the way he described his ex as if her interests were shallow and superficial was a red flag too esp since they were probably in their very early 20’s. He honestly didn’t have anything else or good to say about a person he was with for more than a year?? But I’ll just go along with it because I liked all other aspects of their story. It truly does help to have someone understand the depth of your pain/trauma because they have been through the same. This is not a trauma bond, that is very much different. But their relationship was never necessary to me for this book to have merit. I would have been fine if they’d just been friends and went on with their lives.
—> Unrelated but I very much liked the parallel scene with Atlas, Josh, and the family tree. I see what you did there, CoHo.
Just to add, tbh I like that CoHo spoonfeeds you the story. You don’t have to actively think as much or even put any effort at all when you read her books to get the story. I find that really nice sometimes. At least for the few books of hers I have read (this, IEWU, AYP), not sure if I’ll ever plan to read more.
P.S. I pretend the cringey present day references and Ellen do not exist in this book.
That’s all, good night.
However, this wasn’t in any way a romance book to me (similar to IEWU). I don’t think the story focused heavily on Lily and Atlas’ romance. This is a story of how a person navigates life after an abusive relationship (for Lily’s POV); and how to come into terms with your childhood trauma brought upon by your supposed family (for Atlas’ POV). They just happened to start a relationship as they tackle these situations individually, but their relationship was never the focus of this story imo.
I’m glad they got to have a happy ending, both of them deserve it. I do feel that everything concluded very neatly and TOO conveniently for the both of them. That’s not how it is in real life, but that’s why it’s fiction. At least, there’s cheesy convenient happy endings in fiction.
Apart from how things concluded, I think that the situations were realistic. It resonated with me. I genuinely liked how Lily wasn’t just suddenly firm and detached in her decisions involving Ryle; it makes sense because she did spend a lot of time in the mindset of defending/excusing his behavior while in a relationship with him. It makes a lot of sense on how she remains to constantly question herself if her choices and feelings towards him are valid. How she initially handled their co-parenting relationship made full sense to me but I’m proud that she got to a point wherein she knew she had to stop tolerating his bs. Healing’s a fucking bitch. It can sometimes feel like life AFTER the abuse/trauma is even harder because now you have to be responsible in healing something that wasn’t your fault. It was a slow process of having to unlearn so much of her mindset + thought processes but she got there.
AND BOI DID RYLE MAKE ME WANT TO CHUCK MY IPAD ACROSS THE ROOM SO MANY DAMN TIMES. I genuinely want Ryle to rot in hell. His ass was damn lucky Lily was even letting him near her child and adjusting the way she did in the beginning. Anyways… While I agree this sequel wasn’t exactly necessary, I also feel in a way that it was needed because we got to see how much of a truly bad person Ryle really is. FOR ALL THOSE TEAM RYLE GURLIES OUT THERE, pls take note that he wouldn’t have ever changed. IEWU kind of left him on a lighter note wherein the reader can still sympathize with him to an extent in the sense that they can understand why he is the way he is, WHICH IN NO WAY EXCUSES IT but probably why there are gurlies defending him. In this sequel, it highlights his abusive patterns and how truly deep the abuse would have continued. Even divorced, he was still very much harmful.
Lastly, Atlas’ family story is very much heartbreaking and speaks true to real life childhood trauma caused by family. Children do not owe their parents’ forgiveness for the pain they’ve inflicted no matter their own circumstances. Yes, a point of understanding (and even sympathy) can be reached but forgiveness is not a requirement to do so. I think Atlas’ POV would very much resonate with anyone who had their childhoods robbed from them, to anyone who had to grow up too quickly to survive.
—> I genuinely loved how Atlas describes the feeling of love having grown up never really experiencing it from those who should have. Buuuuut… I don’t think CoHo should have built the entire foundation of his love for Lily be the fact that she was the one who essentially saved him and the first person to ever show him kindness. For him to have never known love in any other way or to have not loved anyone and had any other significant relationships in his life outside of Lily, is just extremely off to me and screams DANGER. Plus the way he described his ex as if her interests were shallow and superficial was a red flag too esp since they were probably in their very early 20’s. He honestly didn’t have anything else or good to say about a person he was with for more than a year?? But I’ll just go along with it because I liked all other aspects of their story. It truly does help to have someone understand the depth of your pain/trauma because they have been through the same. This is not a trauma bond, that is very much different. But their relationship was never necessary to me for this book to have merit. I would have been fine if they’d just been friends and went on with their lives.
—> Unrelated but I very much liked the parallel scene with Atlas, Josh, and the family tree. I see what you did there, CoHo.
Just to add, tbh I like that CoHo spoonfeeds you the story. You don’t have to actively think as much or even put any effort at all when you read her books to get the story. I find that really nice sometimes. At least for the few books of hers I have read (this, IEWU, AYP), not sure if I’ll ever plan to read more.
P.S. I pretend the cringey present day references and Ellen do not exist in this book.
That’s all, good night.