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A review by lauren_miller
The Opposite of Butterfly Hunting: The Tragedy and The Glory of Growing Up by Evanna Lynch
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
this is a very hard review to write.
I absolutely adore Evanna's writing—it is visceral, evocative, creative, whimsical, playful, and honest. and because I love her voice, I found the material, as rough and heart-wrenching as it was, bearable and even at times amusing.
there is nothing amusing about the subject matter in this book. it is written by someone formerly defined by and forever to be associated with anorexia. it is not written lightly, which i think should be appreciated. it does not shy away at all; the mind of someone with an eating disorder is exactly as this book portrays—angry, ashamed, depressed, manic, obsessive, cruel, yet at the same time incredibly passionate, playful, mischievous, lively, thoughtful, sensitive, and even kind. this book is not necessarily for the disordered eaters, but for the outsiders—the parents, family, friends, colleagues, bystanders, and general public that will never truly understand what it means to be in or out of control of one's body. it is a messy and poignant look at the thought patterns, buried far beneath one's physical appearance, that dictate every aspect of a disordered eater's life with such seductive and dark finesse...
...and the reality that these thoughts never go away. an eating disorder can be treated (ethically, I pray) and the recovery label "achieved," but just like any chronic illness, will never truly leave the person.
and that's ok.
Evanna is proof that choosing recovery—making those hundreds of small decisions every day to choose health and happiness over control and "peace of mind"—is hard but possible. I respect and admire that immensely.
I admire this book a lot and hope this is not the last we've seen of Evanna as a storyteller.
5 out of 5 stars.
I absolutely adore Evanna's writing—it is visceral, evocative, creative, whimsical, playful, and honest. and because I love her voice, I found the material, as rough and heart-wrenching as it was, bearable and even at times amusing.
there is nothing amusing about the subject matter in this book. it is written by someone formerly defined by and forever to be associated with anorexia. it is not written lightly, which i think should be appreciated. it does not shy away at all; the mind of someone with an eating disorder is exactly as this book portrays—angry, ashamed, depressed, manic, obsessive, cruel, yet at the same time incredibly passionate, playful, mischievous, lively, thoughtful, sensitive, and even kind. this book is not necessarily for the disordered eaters, but for the outsiders—the parents, family, friends, colleagues, bystanders, and general public that will never truly understand what it means to be in or out of control of one's body. it is a messy and poignant look at the thought patterns, buried far beneath one's physical appearance, that dictate every aspect of a disordered eater's life with such seductive and dark finesse...
...and the reality that these thoughts never go away. an eating disorder can be treated (ethically, I pray) and the recovery label "achieved," but just like any chronic illness, will never truly leave the person.
and that's ok.
Evanna is proof that choosing recovery—making those hundreds of small decisions every day to choose health and happiness over control and "peace of mind"—is hard but possible. I respect and admire that immensely.
I admire this book a lot and hope this is not the last we've seen of Evanna as a storyteller.
5 out of 5 stars.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Toxic friendship, Eating disorder, Fatphobia, Suicide, Chronic illness, Medical content, Medical trauma, Self harm, and Suicidal thoughts