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A review by morningtide
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
I've been struggling to get my apartment truly tidied since moving in over two years ago now - I figured with a new habitat and different stuff, I probably needed a refresher to help me get a handle on things. I'm well past the acceptable 'still unpacking' phase. So I've returned to The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up for the second or third time since my initial reading in 2015.
My own outlook on any books in the self-help genre is "take what helps you and leave the rest." Which, in retrospect may have been a thought process I gained from Marie Kondo the first time around. But all self-help/motivation books really are more of a guideline than a set of rules. I'll keep an open mind, take the thought, sit with it, and discard it if it doesn't give me joy :) For me personally, the majority of Marie's core values sit very well and have helped me a lot between now and my first read almost a decade ago now. Being the child of a bit of a hoarder, it's advice that hasn't just helped me with stuff - I've applied it to my goals, my social life, and my financial choices. With each read through, I might accept more of the advice here, since what I've taken so far seems to work so well for me.
A lot of people seem to get very stuck at some of the concepts in this book, and sometimes seem to deliberately misunderstand it. Obviously there are always going to be cultural differences, and Marie makes is clear there is a spiritual base to her systems - if that base doesn't align with your experience, the way she discusses objects can seem over the top. But just because it isn't our norm doesn't mean you can't benefit from taking a moment to be glad for an object helping you through your day or teaching you that it was a waste of money. One can be consciously thankful for a meal without praying before it. There are languages that have gendered objects; if you've ever had a "favorite" or "lucky" object, then you've applied this kind of emotional attachment in your life already, maybe just differently. Yes, she wants things to spark joy in your life, but she also says to consider an item's purpose - if your coat is unflattering but it's the only thing that keeps you warm when it's cold, then you can still appreciate what it brings to your life (just maybe keep an eye out for the opportunity to get a coat that would also make you happy to wear for fashion as well.)
If you feel offended by the concept of stuff going into the landfill, know that by already owning it, it will end up there one day, the amount of things that are still serviceable to other people or actually recyclable in current systems is based on a lot of wishful thinking - also touched upon by the sections about handing off your unwanted stuff to family or friends, and ditching your sentimentals at your parents home. A great way to combat this kind of waste is to learn what is or isn't useful or enjoyable in your life and don't obtain it in the first place, which can be a skill learned by looking at what you do have, taking the moment to consider items thoughtfully and how they personally affect your own existence. Marie Kondo is teaching us to be mindful and live our lives the way we want to.
And finally, on a very personal level:
On my visit this time, I have since joined the subset "30 something year old women finally diagnosed with ADHD because it was only for boys in the 90s and aughts" after an old school friend was like "remember all the stuff we struggled with in school and got in trouble for but bonded over, creating our life long friendship? turns out I have ADHD. and I've been thinking about it and I gotta say, girl…. you might have ADHD." (She was right, and my neurologist followed up with, "Girl, you definitely have ADHD.") That run-on sentence is to set up that I noticed that a lot of Marie's reasoning behind why she developed this kind of structure and outlook in her life - the actual specific examples of problems she had - were very on par with the way I struggle with things as well, which is probably a reason why that same friend and I really both resonated with this book. So, I suppose I'm saying that if you're the kinda ADHD person or has struggles parallel to ADHD that needs to develop a bit of a "system" to cope with (literal) things in your life, this one has really worked for us (me, my friend, and Marie obvs (girl….u might….))
My own outlook on any books in the self-help genre is "take what helps you and leave the rest." Which, in retrospect may have been a thought process I gained from Marie Kondo the first time around. But all self-help/motivation books really are more of a guideline than a set of rules. I'll keep an open mind, take the thought, sit with it, and discard it if it doesn't give me joy :) For me personally, the majority of Marie's core values sit very well and have helped me a lot between now and my first read almost a decade ago now. Being the child of a bit of a hoarder, it's advice that hasn't just helped me with stuff - I've applied it to my goals, my social life, and my financial choices. With each read through, I might accept more of the advice here, since what I've taken so far seems to work so well for me.
A lot of people seem to get very stuck at some of the concepts in this book, and sometimes seem to deliberately misunderstand it. Obviously there are always going to be cultural differences, and Marie makes is clear there is a spiritual base to her systems - if that base doesn't align with your experience, the way she discusses objects can seem over the top. But just because it isn't our norm doesn't mean you can't benefit from taking a moment to be glad for an object helping you through your day or teaching you that it was a waste of money. One can be consciously thankful for a meal without praying before it. There are languages that have gendered objects; if you've ever had a "favorite" or "lucky" object, then you've applied this kind of emotional attachment in your life already, maybe just differently. Yes, she wants things to spark joy in your life, but she also says to consider an item's purpose - if your coat is unflattering but it's the only thing that keeps you warm when it's cold, then you can still appreciate what it brings to your life (just maybe keep an eye out for the opportunity to get a coat that would also make you happy to wear for fashion as well.)
If you feel offended by the concept of stuff going into the landfill, know that by already owning it, it will end up there one day, the amount of things that are still serviceable to other people or actually recyclable in current systems is based on a lot of wishful thinking - also touched upon by the sections about handing off your unwanted stuff to family or friends, and ditching your sentimentals at your parents home. A great way to combat this kind of waste is to learn what is or isn't useful or enjoyable in your life and don't obtain it in the first place, which can be a skill learned by looking at what you do have, taking the moment to consider items thoughtfully and how they personally affect your own existence. Marie Kondo is teaching us to be mindful and live our lives the way we want to.
And finally, on a very personal level:
On my visit this time, I have since joined the subset "30 something year old women finally diagnosed with ADHD because it was only for boys in the 90s and aughts" after an old school friend was like "remember all the stuff we struggled with in school and got in trouble for but bonded over, creating our life long friendship? turns out I have ADHD. and I've been thinking about it and I gotta say, girl…. you might have ADHD." (She was right, and my neurologist followed up with, "Girl, you definitely have ADHD.") That run-on sentence is to set up that I noticed that a lot of Marie's reasoning behind why she developed this kind of structure and outlook in her life - the actual specific examples of problems she had - were very on par with the way I struggle with things as well, which is probably a reason why that same friend and I really both resonated with this book. So, I suppose I'm saying that if you're the kinda ADHD person or has struggles parallel to ADHD that needs to develop a bit of a "system" to cope with (literal) things in your life, this one has really worked for us (me, my friend, and Marie obvs (girl….u might….))