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A review by amandakitz
The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness by Miriam Kaufman, Fran Odette, Cory Silverberg
3.0
I'm sure this book was very current at the time of its publication, but now 20 years later, the landscape of disabled and queer language and needs has changed quite a bit. I appreciated the excerpts from disabled folks with a wide range of disabilities. The sections on communication and on the basics of sexual safety and education were done well, and would be helpful if your sexual education was very limited. It appears that the authors did try to include a wide variety of disabilities in each of their suggestions. More on that later.
My biggest critique is in the chapter on yoga and tantra; in one breath they critiqued Western uses of Eastern practices and in the next breath said to "take what you like and leave the rest", instilling in me very little confidence that the presentation of yoga and tantra was done accurately and respectfully.
Some of the other suggestions for folks like me with chronic pain and fatigue basically amounted to 'change positions to support yourself and know when to rest' which... thanks, I'm sure we've all tried that. The actual positions discussed were primarily for folks in wheelchairs, which is great, but I had hoped that the section on intercourse would have more than 4 positions given the range of disabilities discussed. Masturbation and oral had a chapter each so it's not like the practical pieces were in short supply, but that section had a surprisingly small number of ideas.
I'm sure folks with other disabilities have seen the inadequacy of this book in addressing their concerns. That seems to be the risk they ran by taking a very large topic, with a lot of disabilities and identities represented, and trying to fit it in 300 pages. Perhaps leaving out the problematic tantra section would have let them squeeze in more material relevant to some disabled folks who were less represented.
Overall, I learned a few new things and would like to find something similar without the problematic tantra section, a little more current LGBTQ+ inclusivity, and ideally more helpful information for chronic pain and fatigue if that's one of the categories marketed to.
My biggest critique is in the chapter on yoga and tantra; in one breath they critiqued Western uses of Eastern practices and in the next breath said to "take what you like and leave the rest", instilling in me very little confidence that the presentation of yoga and tantra was done accurately and respectfully.
Some of the other suggestions for folks like me with chronic pain and fatigue basically amounted to 'change positions to support yourself and know when to rest' which... thanks, I'm sure we've all tried that. The actual positions discussed were primarily for folks in wheelchairs, which is great, but I had hoped that the section on intercourse would have more than 4 positions given the range of disabilities discussed. Masturbation and oral had a chapter each so it's not like the practical pieces were in short supply, but that section had a surprisingly small number of ideas.
I'm sure folks with other disabilities have seen the inadequacy of this book in addressing their concerns. That seems to be the risk they ran by taking a very large topic, with a lot of disabilities and identities represented, and trying to fit it in 300 pages. Perhaps leaving out the problematic tantra section would have let them squeeze in more material relevant to some disabled folks who were less represented.
Overall, I learned a few new things and would like to find something similar without the problematic tantra section, a little more current LGBTQ+ inclusivity, and ideally more helpful information for chronic pain and fatigue if that's one of the categories marketed to.