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A review by bozakrowka
Shadow of the Conqueror by Shad M. Brooks
1.0
When the first named female character is introduced as "a very large woman with breasts the size of melons" you know it can only get worse.
The idea of this book is far better than it's execution. The plot is repetitive and stagnant, which offers no development until page 400 when suddenly there are stakes. Every page before that only serves to tell us how skilled, smart and special Daylen is. He is not given a clear goal, only the broad "do good and fight evil", which makes the story lack direction. It also means his redemption falls flat because he spends most of the book wanting to be good, then killing some people, then feeling guilty and then forgiving himself, only to do it all again in the next chapter. He is caught in a loop which stifles the story as he doesn't change after each plot point but rather returns to his old self.
The philosophy around morality and redemption is only surface-level as there is little nuance when it comes to discussing the actions of the characters. The crimes committed by Daylen are given little to no emotional weight as they are treated flippantly or told clinically in one of the journal entries. For a story so reliant on feeling the immensity of the crimes committed by the main character, the brevity of the genocide, rape and destruction isn't there. If these gut-wrenching moments from Daylen's past were dramatised as flashbacks instead of described in a sentence at the beginning of each chapter, it would have conveyed Daylen's struggle better.
You can tell that Brooks thought a lot about the magic system and world, which is where the problem lies. The magic system is unnecessarily complex and feels very rigid with all of its rules, even though Daylen can do almost anything with magic so it defeats the purpose of having rules. The world is rich with culture and history, but this shouldn't take centre stage. Daylen's story became secondary to showing off the duelling culture, the knights or the religions, which made all this world-building feel empty. If I could feel invested in this story instead of waiting for the plot to finally begin, I would have appreciated the richness of the world. Especially since we spend the first few chapters of the book with Daylen just experimenting with his powers and telling us every rule about the system. Not to mention a lot of the world-building only showed up once then never again.
This book also had a concerning preoccupation with sex and sexual violence. The book wallows in the depravity of sexual abuse and rape in a way which only comments on how women are degraded by men and require saving by men. It doesn't help that two raped female characters are referred to as "creatures" in an effort to ellicit sympathy.
Also, the "Matriology" religion is an unnecessary and patriotising addition. Women are so revered that they're the ones who get to do the dishes isn't critiquing ideology. It is just Patriarchal Christianity with a different name.
One of the only joys I took from this book was replacing the incessant use of diegetic curses within the prose with shit and fuck. It made it far more entertaining and also illuminated how unnecessary they were.
For example, I have replaced all the blackened's in this excerpt:
"Fuck it, so far the Bringer had been right in nearly every fucking thing he had fucking said. Fuck it all!"
I feel like this story has all the potential to be something great, with the character, world and dilemma, but it prioritised showing off Daylen's skills and intellect instead of showing how the worst person in the world can come to the realisation that they are a irredeemable human being.
Another draft and round of editing could have made this book decent.
The idea of this book is far better than it's execution. The plot is repetitive and stagnant, which offers no development until page 400 when suddenly there are stakes. Every page before that only serves to tell us how skilled, smart and special Daylen is. He is not given a clear goal, only the broad "do good and fight evil", which makes the story lack direction. It also means his redemption falls flat because he spends most of the book wanting to be good, then killing some people, then feeling guilty and then forgiving himself, only to do it all again in the next chapter. He is caught in a loop which stifles the story as he doesn't change after each plot point but rather returns to his old self.
The philosophy around morality and redemption is only surface-level as there is little nuance when it comes to discussing the actions of the characters. The crimes committed by Daylen are given little to no emotional weight as they are treated flippantly or told clinically in one of the journal entries. For a story so reliant on feeling the immensity of the crimes committed by the main character, the brevity of the genocide, rape and destruction isn't there. If these gut-wrenching moments from Daylen's past were dramatised as flashbacks instead of described in a sentence at the beginning of each chapter, it would have conveyed Daylen's struggle better.
You can tell that Brooks thought a lot about the magic system and world, which is where the problem lies. The magic system is unnecessarily complex and feels very rigid with all of its rules, even though Daylen can do almost anything with magic so it defeats the purpose of having rules. The world is rich with culture and history, but this shouldn't take centre stage. Daylen's story became secondary to showing off the duelling culture, the knights or the religions, which made all this world-building feel empty. If I could feel invested in this story instead of waiting for the plot to finally begin, I would have appreciated the richness of the world. Especially since we spend the first few chapters of the book with Daylen just experimenting with his powers and telling us every rule about the system. Not to mention a lot of the world-building only showed up once then never again.
This book also had a concerning preoccupation with sex and sexual violence. The book wallows in the depravity of sexual abuse and rape in a way which only comments on how women are degraded by men and require saving by men. It doesn't help that two raped female characters are referred to as "creatures" in an effort to ellicit sympathy.
Also, the "Matriology" religion is an unnecessary and patriotising addition. Women are so revered that they're the ones who get to do the dishes isn't critiquing ideology. It is just Patriarchal Christianity with a different name.
One of the only joys I took from this book was replacing the incessant use of diegetic curses within the prose with shit and fuck. It made it far more entertaining and also illuminated how unnecessary they were.
For example, I have replaced all the blackened's in this excerpt:
"Fuck it, so far the Bringer had been right in nearly every fucking thing he had fucking said. Fuck it all!"
I feel like this story has all the potential to be something great, with the character, world and dilemma, but it prioritised showing off Daylen's skills and intellect instead of showing how the worst person in the world can come to the realisation that they are a irredeemable human being.
Another draft and round of editing could have made this book decent.