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A review by delijha711
Playground by Aron Beauregard
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
This will be a COMPLETE review of the book so I can maybe hopefully save someone else the time and money.
So I picked up this book initially as I have been slowly getting into horror and more gore and things of that nature and it never seemed to phase me. I thought since I never seemed to mind, that I would try splatterpunk, and what way to get into it then reading an incredibly popular book, such as this one. Let me start off by saying that I did not like this book. Not because I felt grossed out or out of terror, but because it was so boring. Like get to the point already. He goes on very long descriptions of whatever the hell he's talking about and it's just too much.
Plot:
So the story starts out with some of the worst parents ever, and it makes sense why they were approached as their children would be easy targets. A single mom who seems to hate her child-literally, the book opens with this single mom having her kid on a leash, letting him swing very high, then yanking the leash down so he crashes into the ground (Kids name is Donnie). The next family, the dad is the stereotypical-and I mean STEREOTYPICAL to a T-jock who got hurt and now wants to live his sports dreams through his kids, and oh yeah, his wife was a cheerleader. Obviously he's verbally, mentally and physically abusive to his sons and kind of just ignores his daughter. (Kids names are CJ, Kipp, Tanya and Bobby or something like that). The next family, the dad seems a bit of a paranoid dad and the moms more blase, not bad but kind of there. (Kids are Isaac, Sam and Sadie)
The antagonist, the true villain of the story, besides the actual Nazi, is an old lady named Geraldine. Geraldine is a perverted narcissist who is very mad she couldn't conceive a child to SA, this isn't a joke, she's genuinely upset about that. Her adoptive son is a disappointment to her, probably because he wasn't the sociopath she so desired, but she still assaulted him. She went so far as to brand this man and killed their maid, upset because she thought he was pining for the maid. The infamous page 40 is where she forces her adoptive son, Rock, to go down on her. The reason why this is where a lot of people stop, is because the author goes into great detail about her "fermented beaver" and how sickening it is for Rock to be doing this and yeah it's hella gross but I don't see why that's the point where it got to a lot of people. The point where I had to put the book down for a moment was when this old ass lady decided to go into a literal hall of mirrors, with dildos all over it and started to masturbate while thinking of her dead mom. She had like a mind montage where she saw her mom having sex, then where she sniffed her moms period undies, then masturbated while eating her moms poop then finally she thought about when her mom was on her deathbed and she sexually assaulted her, this scene should be the scene where people would want to stop the book cause that's freaking crazy.
Anywho, the families all arrive at this big ass mansion she owns and it's sort of like the beginning of Charlie and the Chocolate factory where everyone arrives and she meets them out front and everyone is so excited, etc. etc.
Isaac, Sadie and Sam's dad is very hesitant to go in as he finds this all too suspicious, rightfully so, but his wife and kids convince him it's okay and as Geraldine has all the correct "paperwork" he obliges, big mistake. CJ and thems dad is his usually dickish self and is also antagonizing the other dad just cause he thinks hes stronger and wants to prove he's better (see, stereotypical)
So the kids go in the playground and Rock stays to watch, the parents all go into this viewing room and sit in this like movie theater area. Geraldine tricks them into closing their eyes and leaning their heads back and a collar goes around them. But shockingly, the first death is a parent. The cheerleader mom dies because her daughter gave her one of those slap bracelets and she dropped it so as she was reaching for it, the collar caught her jugular-idk how it was so precise but whatever-and she bled out and obviously no one could do anything as the collars were on. Geraldine then explains the rules, the kids are going to be led to the real playground where whoever survives, she will take in to be her protege. We move back to Rock as the single mother finally arrives and he meets her at the door, he finally snaps seeing Donnie being treated just how he used to and beats the mother to death. When I say he beats her to a pulp, I mean that in the most literal sense, he genuinely beats her face in so badly that it's described as just a pool of blood and Donnie has no reaction. Rock cleans himself up and Donnie and places him in the playground. Then Rock releases two big dobermans that attack the children so they are backed into the big ass slide. Isaac is a meek child who gets bullied a lot and is a bit slower than the others and loses his glasses (again, another stereotype about the bullied child) and CJ ends up distracting the other one. CJ is able to wrap his shirt around one dog and then THROW the dog at the one attacking Isaac. They get away and make it to the slide that entraps the kids. Mind you, the parents are watching all of this. So they go down this slide that is filled with razor blades and barbed wire, obviously they all get hurt, no one can escape that. Bobby gets hit the worst as he is the oldest, like 13 so he's a lot bigger and can't crouch down as much as the rest of them. They land in marbles for whatever reason and realize that baseballs are flying by. They crouch down and walk into a room where there's like a life size game of hangman where there's a game currently going. One of the kids finally breaks, Sam, and she runs to the exit sign. She must've stepped on a bomb or something cause next thing we know, her leg got blown off. So CJ-the de facto leader-and Isaac run to try and save her as the room is closing in on them, literally. But obviously she doesn't survive and is crushed to death. (Halfway through the book a child finally dies) During all this we learn more about the German, Fuchs. Shockingly, while he was a Nazi, he was the worst of them all. He was a chemist, biologist and an engineer, cause of course he is. After the war he was pardoned by the American government (believable) so that he can help them in their endeavors. So the next one is hopscotch across this small walkway. Of course there's like woodcutters below and obviously cows hanging from the ceiling, cause duh. So they're playing and Isaac is going and Kip is after and Isaac hesitates cause there's freaking cow guts flying everywhere and Kip falls into the tree cutters. Rock is finally cracking as hes being persuaded slowly by the parents cries. The next room is then swings and because Bobby, even though his life is literally on the line, he wants to be a dick. Clearly his dad truly got into him. So he makes Isaac and Sadie go on the swings over fire and everyone is fine. They get to the next part and it's monkey bars over, get this, a pit full of shards of glass and snakes. Genuinely doesn't make any sense to me, the snakes can die whilst moving because of the glass. Isaac and Sadie mom uses her one chance to let them know the monkey bars are greased so they have to go across on the top. Geraldine thinks Rock told them (not confirmed but he probably did) and Fuchs is like nah youve mentally destroyed him were all good. Geraldine is upset but has become obsessed with Tanya and is happy she made it across.
So they now have to go down some slides that, surprise surprise have blades popping in and out of them. Isaac figures out a way to go down and CJ, Tanya and Donnie go. Sadie is frightened and Bobby's dad finally talks and says he'll love him if he kills Sadie. So he stabs her and rides her down the slide like a psycho. Obviously everyone is upset. The next thing is the merry go round that they have to hold on to or be flung into acid. Bobby, again, a psycho tries to take Isaac out but brave Isaac grabs onto Bobby and takes them both out. So now it's just Donnie, CJ and Tanya left. Rock is finally breaking by seeing how sad Isaac's parents are and how psychotic Bobby's dad is. The next one is a seesaw and they have to go up and down ten times to be able to go the next room. Tanya and CJ do it and when they sit down hooks go into their legs. If they go to high a saw will chop their head off. Unfortunately CJ dies. Rock is finally broken by CJ's dad and Isaac's parents begging. Tanya and Donnie make it to the last room with a sandbox where we learn the reason Donnie is so quiet is because he got his tongue chopped off. Rock tells them he's going to save them.
Multiple things happen at once. Geraldine and Fuchs go into the room with the parents and they think they still have control over Rock. Fuchs tries to shoot Rock but he pulls his wrist in time. Rock gets shot in the arm but he dislocates Fuchs arm. Then he smashed his head into the buttons that release the parents. He is then electrocuted with the craziest line "Then, like a porn star positioning for the money shot, the final surge of electrical current surges through Fuchs dome" please tell me how those two are related! Geraldine picks up the gun and shoots Rock but only like two shots cause the gun didn't have a lot loaded. Greg (Bobby, CJ, Kip and Tanya's dad) decides to take the chance to attack Tom (Isaac, Sadie, Sam's dad) cause that's what should be done. But Rock, done with the bullies, sticks his fingers down his throat and kills him. Rock them goes to find Geraldine in the freaking hall of mirrors with dildos! Cause apparently that's where she feels safest? To make things short he slams her repeatedly into the mirrors and makes her choke on one of her nasty ass dildos and finally had her...sit on a shard of glass. Rock comes back and him and Tom and his wife save Donnie and Tanya. They escape and Rock finally gets to play on the playground like he's always wanted to. Dying from his injuries. The end.
I've read some pretty bad books in my life and this is up there for sure. I've read a few splatter punk books but this was the worst. The plot bad, the over the top descriptions were annoying. The author was shoving things down our throats instead of letting the audience figure it out. Don't read this. It's terrible, not because of the things that happened but for the writing, the over explaining of everything and the blatant hatred of women. Im glad I'm done with it and I wish I could erase it from my mind.
So I picked up this book initially as I have been slowly getting into horror and more gore and things of that nature and it never seemed to phase me. I thought since I never seemed to mind, that I would try splatterpunk, and what way to get into it then reading an incredibly popular book, such as this one. Let me start off by saying that I did not like this book. Not because I felt grossed out or out of terror, but because it was so boring. Like get to the point already. He goes on very long descriptions of whatever the hell he's talking about and it's just too much.
Plot:
So the story starts out with some of the worst parents ever, and it makes sense why they were approached as their children would be easy targets. A single mom who seems to hate her child-literally, the book opens with this single mom having her kid on a leash, letting him swing very high, then yanking the leash down so he crashes into the ground (Kids name is Donnie). The next family, the dad is the stereotypical-and I mean STEREOTYPICAL to a T-jock who got hurt and now wants to live his sports dreams through his kids, and oh yeah, his wife was a cheerleader. Obviously he's verbally, mentally and physically abusive to his sons and kind of just ignores his daughter. (Kids names are CJ, Kipp, Tanya and Bobby or something like that). The next family, the dad seems a bit of a paranoid dad and the moms more blase, not bad but kind of there. (Kids are Isaac, Sam and Sadie)
The antagonist, the true villain of the story, besides the actual Nazi, is an old lady named Geraldine. Geraldine is a perverted narcissist who is very mad she couldn't conceive a child to SA, this isn't a joke, she's genuinely upset about that. Her adoptive son is a disappointment to her, probably because he wasn't the sociopath she so desired, but she still assaulted him. She went so far as to brand this man and killed their maid, upset because she thought he was pining for the maid. The infamous page 40 is where she forces her adoptive son, Rock, to go down on her. The reason why this is where a lot of people stop, is because the author goes into great detail about her "fermented beaver" and how sickening it is for Rock to be doing this and yeah it's hella gross but I don't see why that's the point where it got to a lot of people. The point where I had to put the book down for a moment was when this old ass lady decided to go into a literal hall of mirrors, with dildos all over it and started to masturbate while thinking of her dead mom. She had like a mind montage where she saw her mom having sex, then where she sniffed her moms period undies, then masturbated while eating her moms poop then finally she thought about when her mom was on her deathbed and she sexually assaulted her, this scene should be the scene where people would want to stop the book cause that's freaking crazy.
Anywho, the families all arrive at this big ass mansion she owns and it's sort of like the beginning of Charlie and the Chocolate factory where everyone arrives and she meets them out front and everyone is so excited, etc. etc.
Isaac, Sadie and Sam's dad is very hesitant to go in as he finds this all too suspicious, rightfully so, but his wife and kids convince him it's okay and as Geraldine has all the correct "paperwork" he obliges, big mistake. CJ and thems dad is his usually dickish self and is also antagonizing the other dad just cause he thinks hes stronger and wants to prove he's better (see, stereotypical)
So the kids go in the playground and Rock stays to watch, the parents all go into this viewing room and sit in this like movie theater area. Geraldine tricks them into closing their eyes and leaning their heads back and a collar goes around them. But shockingly, the first death is a parent. The cheerleader mom dies because her daughter gave her one of those slap bracelets and she dropped it so as she was reaching for it, the collar caught her jugular-idk how it was so precise but whatever-and she bled out and obviously no one could do anything as the collars were on. Geraldine then explains the rules, the kids are going to be led to the real playground where whoever survives, she will take in to be her protege. We move back to Rock as the single mother finally arrives and he meets her at the door, he finally snaps seeing Donnie being treated just how he used to and beats the mother to death. When I say he beats her to a pulp, I mean that in the most literal sense, he genuinely beats her face in so badly that it's described as just a pool of blood and Donnie has no reaction. Rock cleans himself up and Donnie and places him in the playground. Then Rock releases two big dobermans that attack the children so they are backed into the big ass slide. Isaac is a meek child who gets bullied a lot and is a bit slower than the others and loses his glasses (again, another stereotype about the bullied child) and CJ ends up distracting the other one. CJ is able to wrap his shirt around one dog and then THROW the dog at the one attacking Isaac. They get away and make it to the slide that entraps the kids. Mind you, the parents are watching all of this. So they go down this slide that is filled with razor blades and barbed wire, obviously they all get hurt, no one can escape that. Bobby gets hit the worst as he is the oldest, like 13 so he's a lot bigger and can't crouch down as much as the rest of them. They land in marbles for whatever reason and realize that baseballs are flying by. They crouch down and walk into a room where there's like a life size game of hangman where there's a game currently going. One of the kids finally breaks, Sam, and she runs to the exit sign. She must've stepped on a bomb or something cause next thing we know, her leg got blown off. So CJ-the de facto leader-and Isaac run to try and save her as the room is closing in on them, literally. But obviously she doesn't survive and is crushed to death. (Halfway through the book a child finally dies) During all this we learn more about the German, Fuchs. Shockingly, while he was a Nazi, he was the worst of them all. He was a chemist, biologist and an engineer, cause of course he is. After the war he was pardoned by the American government (believable) so that he can help them in their endeavors. So the next one is hopscotch across this small walkway. Of course there's like woodcutters below and obviously cows hanging from the ceiling, cause duh. So they're playing and Isaac is going and Kip is after and Isaac hesitates cause there's freaking cow guts flying everywhere and Kip falls into the tree cutters. Rock is finally cracking as hes being persuaded slowly by the parents cries. The next room is then swings and because Bobby, even though his life is literally on the line, he wants to be a dick. Clearly his dad truly got into him. So he makes Isaac and Sadie go on the swings over fire and everyone is fine. They get to the next part and it's monkey bars over, get this, a pit full of shards of glass and snakes. Genuinely doesn't make any sense to me, the snakes can die whilst moving because of the glass. Isaac and Sadie mom uses her one chance to let them know the monkey bars are greased so they have to go across on the top. Geraldine thinks Rock told them (not confirmed but he probably did) and Fuchs is like nah youve mentally destroyed him were all good. Geraldine is upset but has become obsessed with Tanya and is happy she made it across.
So they now have to go down some slides that, surprise surprise have blades popping in and out of them. Isaac figures out a way to go down and CJ, Tanya and Donnie go. Sadie is frightened and Bobby's dad finally talks and says he'll love him if he kills Sadie. So he stabs her and rides her down the slide like a psycho. Obviously everyone is upset. The next thing is the merry go round that they have to hold on to or be flung into acid. Bobby, again, a psycho tries to take Isaac out but brave Isaac grabs onto Bobby and takes them both out. So now it's just Donnie, CJ and Tanya left. Rock is finally breaking by seeing how sad Isaac's parents are and how psychotic Bobby's dad is. The next one is a seesaw and they have to go up and down ten times to be able to go the next room. Tanya and CJ do it and when they sit down hooks go into their legs. If they go to high a saw will chop their head off. Unfortunately CJ dies. Rock is finally broken by CJ's dad and Isaac's parents begging. Tanya and Donnie make it to the last room with a sandbox where we learn the reason Donnie is so quiet is because he got his tongue chopped off. Rock tells them he's going to save them.
Multiple things happen at once. Geraldine and Fuchs go into the room with the parents and they think they still have control over Rock. Fuchs tries to shoot Rock but he pulls his wrist in time. Rock gets shot in the arm but he dislocates Fuchs arm. Then he smashed his head into the buttons that release the parents. He is then electrocuted with the craziest line "Then, like a porn star positioning for the money shot, the final surge of electrical current surges through Fuchs dome" please tell me how those two are related! Geraldine picks up the gun and shoots Rock but only like two shots cause the gun didn't have a lot loaded. Greg (Bobby, CJ, Kip and Tanya's dad) decides to take the chance to attack Tom (Isaac, Sadie, Sam's dad) cause that's what should be done. But Rock, done with the bullies, sticks his fingers down his throat and kills him. Rock them goes to find Geraldine in the freaking hall of mirrors with dildos! Cause apparently that's where she feels safest? To make things short he slams her repeatedly into the mirrors and makes her choke on one of her nasty ass dildos and finally had her...sit on a shard of glass. Rock comes back and him and Tom and his wife save Donnie and Tanya. They escape and Rock finally gets to play on the playground like he's always wanted to. Dying from his injuries. The end.
I've read some pretty bad books in my life and this is up there for sure. I've read a few splatter punk books but this was the worst. The plot bad, the over the top descriptions were annoying. The author was shoving things down our throats instead of letting the audience figure it out. Don't read this. It's terrible, not because of the things that happened but for the writing, the over explaining of everything and the blatant hatred of women. Im glad I'm done with it and I wish I could erase it from my mind.