A review by sampayn3
Before I Die by Jenny Downham

3.0

An integral component of human psychology is understanding that life is limited. Everything will inevitably come to an end - and that is clearly how it should be. Without a terminal boundary there are no goals to measure our successes and desires against, we would lack aspiration, life would lose substance and thus humanity would sink into an infinite dullness. In Jenny Downham's Before I Die, an exceptionally blunt and authentic novel, the proximity of death is narrowed substantially by a crippling disease. It is a novel that cherishes time and respects death for its conclusiveness, yet still seeks the correct way to manage the finality that seizes all. In spite of that, the piece never gets lost in melancholy, steadying the sadness of a young, undignified death with resounding attention on the rest of the protagonist's world and her dreams. To live as normally as possible, with compassion, flaws and love is an intent we should take with us until the very last breath.

Downham firmly resists the tropes of other cancerous protagonists, exercising controversy in the stubborn, rebellious and undoubtedly comical female lead. After being diagnosed with leukaemia four years ago, sixteen-year-old Tessa Harris understands the fear of death with unnatural clarity. However, there is equal comprehension that being ill, or dying prematurely, makes her no less human. Indeed, this young women, practically on the cusp of adulthood, is still susceptible to fits of teenage angst, fantasising over her future, the places she intents to go, the people she wishes to meet and the activities she hopes to accomplish. At the inception of Before I Die, Tessa is at the peak of her exasperation; treating herself as an unnecessary burden that deflects sympathy and is possessed by a lack of self-respect. Through a veil of cynical humour, she decides to confront her life's relative shortcomings with an impulsive list of things to do before she dies: first is casual sex, then drugs, becoming famous, breaking the law and then spending an entire day saying yes.

Fortunately, this bout of haste is diluted by the introduction of Adam, and the inclination of a sweet romance that Tessa has yearned for. Beneath her harsh exterior and the overshadowing cancer, it is obvious that the main character wants to be treated normally. In meeting Adam, and thus coming to an ironic revelation where an outsider is finally permitted inside her world, the protagonist takes a dramatic turn in her outlook on life and allows the true Tessa to fly. The list, which seems irrevocably paramount before, is cast aside for its reckless and insufficient answer to death. Rather, the novel focuses on the precious moments that could soon be gone and the simplistic, though beautiful, everyday occurrences that are often neglected. The author generated a mountain of allusions to death here, transferring the readership from morbidity, fear and regret to a peaceful state of mind. This transition, especially after Adam becomes key to the story, is perhaps the uplifting novelistic element that critics advocate.

Aside from the complexity of Tessa's own transition, the protagonist has a profound effect on the disposition of her surrounding family and friends. In fact, their actions could even be translated to generic caricatures that are representative of humanity in crisis. As an entity we are fond of determination, Downham inducing a glimpse of hope in every scene of Before I Die to highlight the eminent power of such a device. Also, the younger brother's brutal innocence and naive reaction to Tessa's pain is a mark of humanity's own potential to be inhumane and lacking in empathy. The disregard of best friend Zoey, when she contracts troubles of her own, embodies the selfish ignorance that Western culture may have against problems which are distinctly more inflicting than our own. Having said that, these characters are not boundless inconsiderate of the protagonist's pain, but naturally possess the flaws which make them resolutely human. The author appears to respond to society with a parallelism, calling for an international admittance of empathy and sympathy for all calamities.

Although, the novel was not written with sentimentality, nor was it wimpy or immensely quaint in delivery. The author gravitated towards a sharply honest dimension of reality that was viewed in her conversational, economical and accessible prose. In fact, there was little care for fancy eloquence, pedantic use of diction or beautifying what was a unnerving and undignified conclusion. Yet, Downham flourished in evocation of emotion, the intensity of Tessa as a character, her transition and the prevalence of its highly devastating themes. In terms of literary comparisons, Before I Die is widely different from The Fault In Our Stars, an American novel that opposes in symbology, its heavy dependance on romance and the whimsical atmosphere. Nevertheless, similarities may be found in Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones where tragedy simulates actions in outsiders, and where a lack of fear for the beyond comes to fruition.

The theme of death is an anchor for the symbology of this piece, approached with caution and inquisitive concern for each passing moment. As Tessa's view of the world, and its endearing details, begins to widen the readership too will discover the charm to be found in all corners of life. It is moments that make life; the ones where you realise the fascinating simplicity of some natural process, or that something you previously neglected is unconventionally pleasing to acknowledge. The breakdown of these attributes within our world affirmed life magnificently. Furthermore, the ending is a resonating finality as the writing quite literary enters an unknown and unanswerable nothingness. There is a poignance here that will plague the mind for some time, sourcing a feeling of luck, insignificance and irresponsible greed. If nothing else, you will be urged to question how anyone can handle death when their life - career, opportunities, university, travel and romance - all lay before them?

Contrary to other criticism, Before I Die is not an entirely uplifting novel. There is nothing uplifting about the account of a young girl enduring pain and then dying from this treacherous disease. However, it is instead an affirmation of living to the full and noticing the significance of specific, wonderful moments. Jenny Downham's novel will compel you to be in awe of the little things again; those elements that are taken for granted, moments, seasons, nature and the soft rhythm of day to night. Of course, the ending will have readers gulping the polluted air of Tessa's world, holding onto the priceless greatness of her individualism, persistence and her bravery against a grotesque cancer. Through it all, Tessa antagonises her ultimatum with dignity and the best weapon she still has - life. In a society that never stops for anyone or anything, Before I Die hammers on the brakes, stunning us with the fragility of those threads that hold life together.