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A review by bristoni74
See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Violence by Jess Hill
4.0
I’m giving this rating not because I “enjoyed” this book. I didn’t at all. The subject matter is awful and the stories heart-breaking and harrowing. But this book (Winner of the 2020 Stellar Prize) is thoroughly researched and well-written. The scale of domestic and family violence and the torture inflicted on victims was hard at times to read and I had to take many breaks from this book.
I guess I’m a “lucky” one – my father and both of my grandfathers NEVER lifted a hand to my mum or grandmothers and other forms of coercive control were alien to me – my grandmothers and mother had lots of friends, went on trips with their friends, had their own interests, etc. and all managed the household budgets giving them financial independence. I’m also in a healthy, equal relationship with my husband.
I can’t say I would recommend reading this as its content is shocking and could be triggering for those impacted by domestic violence (whether a victim, advocate or someone who works in the system) but it shows sadly how common it is. She also explains why victims will stay, whether out of love, to protect their children, protect themselves (as if they leave they are more likely to be killed) or because they can’t because they are so controlled by their intimate partner who tracks their every move or they have no independent means to such as access to money, family or friends.
The author also describes the structures and systems in place including Govt policy, the legal system (including the family law courts) and police which haven’t reduced the harrowing statistics. (currently one woman a week is killed at the hand of their intimate partner in Australia) ☹
I guess I’m a “lucky” one – my father and both of my grandfathers NEVER lifted a hand to my mum or grandmothers and other forms of coercive control were alien to me – my grandmothers and mother had lots of friends, went on trips with their friends, had their own interests, etc. and all managed the household budgets giving them financial independence. I’m also in a healthy, equal relationship with my husband.
I can’t say I would recommend reading this as its content is shocking and could be triggering for those impacted by domestic violence (whether a victim, advocate or someone who works in the system) but it shows sadly how common it is. She also explains why victims will stay, whether out of love, to protect their children, protect themselves (as if they leave they are more likely to be killed) or because they can’t because they are so controlled by their intimate partner who tracks their every move or they have no independent means to such as access to money, family or friends.
The author also describes the structures and systems in place including Govt policy, the legal system (including the family law courts) and police which haven’t reduced the harrowing statistics. (currently one woman a week is killed at the hand of their intimate partner in Australia) ☹