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A review by chrissymcbooknerd
Open All Night by Nicole Camden
1.0
...the part of me that dreamed of wild sex and madness thought that inheriting a dirty-sex shop in Hollywood, Florida was the catalyst that would finally set my life in motion...
If you don't mind, let's start out with you playing a game of make believe with me. Just pretend, for a second, that you are a 24 year old virgin. You have just inherited a business and a house from your mother and you are going there to visit it for the first time. When you arrive, a stranger covered in tattoos is roaming around inside your house. When you meet him, he puts his smoke scented tongue in your mouth and stuffs his hands up under your shirt. He tells you that for a tiny thing, ye sure do have nice tits. I don't suppose ye'd let me suck on them a little?.
In this situation, would you: (choose all that apply)
A) Kick him where it hurts. HARD!
B) Scream BLOODY MURDER!
C) Call the police. IMMEDIATELY!
D) Tell him it sounds like a great idea and let him suck on them.
Well, of course it's D, right? DUH!
So, this is the situation that our virgin-turned-whore Mary encounters on her first day after inheriting her mother's kinky sex store. She meets two different men within minutes of arriving -- Max, the tattooed one, and John, the handsome one.
Although she has been saving herself for 24 years, waiting until it felt right, she decided within about 2 seconds that she would be allowing both Max and John to ravish her. Maybe even at the same time.
No, I'm not kidding. This really just happened.
Now, if this wasn't all bad enough, Mary learns that her mother was a dirty old dominatrix, and she finds mommy's old sex toys all nicely arranged in her mom's sex room, which was conveniently decorated with porn all over the walls. She decides to borrow one of the toys and play with it while she imagined the two sexual predators that she just encountered.
So, of the two, John is the polite one, I suppose, because he offered to teach Mary how to have kinky sex by setting up private lessons for her. Max, on the other hand, went to the bar to publicly ravish some random waitress first, because he is apparently the womanizer of the bunch.
'You're not my father' she told him.
'I'd still like to spank you.'
I'm just stunned. I have no words. How? Why? WHAT?
I can't wrap my mind around how I, as a reader, am supposed to identity with Mary or care about her or see her as anything but a desperate little tramp. WHAT in the world happened to make this VIRGIN allow a strange man to practically rape her within seconds of their first meeting? I mean, the bizarre sex acts start almost IMMEDIATELY without the reader ever getting to know Mary, Max, OR John. It's literally like, Hi! Nice to meet you! Now let me ravish your breasts! Thanks!
WTF?
This was seriously the strangest little book I've read in a while. Rather than being sexy and fun, it was just disturbing and scary. After the whole creepy scene at the beginning, Mary borrows her mother's sex toy and announces that I would have liked to go on my knees in front of Max... or John, for that matter... or in front of Max with John behind me...
HUH? WHAT?
I just don't know. I don't get it. And why did this novel just STOP? I mean, don't get me wrong -- I'm glad it stopped. If Mary lets strangers get THIS far in the first ten pages, I'm scared to see what she does when she gets to know them, like an hour or two in, right? But, to just stop in the middle of a sentence and tell readers to go purchase another book entirely? It's just dumb. Who wants to do that?
I admire any author who puts her thoughts out there and manages to create a work of fiction and go through the steps to get it published. I hate to completely diss anyone's creation, because I know that writing is fiercely personal and intimate for an author, for sure.
But this? I just don't understand. I have no plans to continue this train wreck, and I apologize to the publisher who provided me a free copy of this novel for the purposes of a review, because I really just thought it was THAT awful.
If you don't mind, let's start out with you playing a game of make believe with me. Just pretend, for a second, that you are a 24 year old virgin. You have just inherited a business and a house from your mother and you are going there to visit it for the first time. When you arrive, a stranger covered in tattoos is roaming around inside your house. When you meet him, he puts his smoke scented tongue in your mouth and stuffs his hands up under your shirt. He tells you that for a tiny thing, ye sure do have nice tits. I don't suppose ye'd let me suck on them a little?.
In this situation, would you: (choose all that apply)
A) Kick him where it hurts. HARD!
B) Scream BLOODY MURDER!
C) Call the police. IMMEDIATELY!
D) Tell him it sounds like a great idea and let him suck on them.
Well, of course it's D, right? DUH!
So, this is the situation that our virgin-turned-whore Mary encounters on her first day after inheriting her mother's kinky sex store. She meets two different men within minutes of arriving -- Max, the tattooed one, and John, the handsome one.
Although she has been saving herself for 24 years, waiting until it felt right, she decided within about 2 seconds that she would be allowing both Max and John to ravish her. Maybe even at the same time.
No, I'm not kidding. This really just happened.
Now, if this wasn't all bad enough, Mary learns that her mother was a dirty old dominatrix, and she finds mommy's old sex toys all nicely arranged in her mom's sex room, which was conveniently decorated with porn all over the walls. She decides to borrow one of the toys and play with it while she imagined the two sexual predators that she just encountered.
So, of the two, John is the polite one, I suppose, because he offered to teach Mary how to have kinky sex by setting up private lessons for her. Max, on the other hand, went to the bar to publicly ravish some random waitress first, because he is apparently the womanizer of the bunch.
'You're not my father' she told him.
'I'd still like to spank you.'
I'm just stunned. I have no words. How? Why? WHAT?
I can't wrap my mind around how I, as a reader, am supposed to identity with Mary or care about her or see her as anything but a desperate little tramp. WHAT in the world happened to make this VIRGIN allow a strange man to practically rape her within seconds of their first meeting? I mean, the bizarre sex acts start almost IMMEDIATELY without the reader ever getting to know Mary, Max, OR John. It's literally like, Hi! Nice to meet you! Now let me ravish your breasts! Thanks!
WTF?
This was seriously the strangest little book I've read in a while. Rather than being sexy and fun, it was just disturbing and scary. After the whole creepy scene at the beginning, Mary borrows her mother's sex toy and announces that I would have liked to go on my knees in front of Max... or John, for that matter... or in front of Max with John behind me...
HUH? WHAT?
I just don't know. I don't get it. And why did this novel just STOP? I mean, don't get me wrong -- I'm glad it stopped. If Mary lets strangers get THIS far in the first ten pages, I'm scared to see what she does when she gets to know them, like an hour or two in, right? But, to just stop in the middle of a sentence and tell readers to go purchase another book entirely? It's just dumb. Who wants to do that?
I admire any author who puts her thoughts out there and manages to create a work of fiction and go through the steps to get it published. I hate to completely diss anyone's creation, because I know that writing is fiercely personal and intimate for an author, for sure.
But this? I just don't understand. I have no plans to continue this train wreck, and I apologize to the publisher who provided me a free copy of this novel for the purposes of a review, because I really just thought it was THAT awful.